


Love Me Anyway

by Mcs126



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 59,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4376177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcs126/pseuds/Mcs126
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashlyn is a senior in college at UNC. Herself and her two roommates, Tobin Heath and Kelley O'Hara, are ready to take on this final year together. All the while, Ashlyn is nervous for what her future holds. Little does she know how much her life is really about to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic and I hope you enjoy! I do not want to give too much away just yet but I'm expecting it to be a longer one with all the good stuff ;) Let me know how you like it! Feedback is always welcome. Thank you for reading!

_Finally._ Ashlyn exhaled slowly while staring up at the ceiling from her bed. Before her alarm could even go off, Ashlyn’s body forced her awake, knowing today was an important day. It was her last first day of college, and Ashlyn was having some serious mixed feelings about the whole thing. _What’s next? Do I get an “adult job” or do I continue with my education? Or both?_ The more Ashlyn contemplated the future, the more she wanted time to slow down. When life moved too quickly around Ashlyn, it was easy for her to push her responsibilities to the wayside. As hard as she worked during her previous years as an undergrad at UNC, she knew she could have done better; she knew that her first year was less than impressive with all the partying and drinking (and girls) she let distract her. But Ashlyn knew that this year would be different. She could feel it.

Before Ashlyn could let her mind wander deeper into this pit of anxiety, her second alarm went off, letting her know that it was really time to get up and get ready. She swung her legs off the edge of the bed and checked the weather before she shuffled over to her closet to pick out her outfit for the first day of classes. The forecast showed that it would be a solid 80 degrees out that day, normal for the area, so Ashlyn decided on her favorite Hurley t-shirt and knee-length black shorts. Most of the time, Ashlyn favored her casual look, but she did like to go all out and dress up every once in a while. However, today was not that kind of day. Her excitement for classes to start was severely overshadowed by her nervousness about what the day meant for her future. _Today is the first day of the rest of my life, or some bullshit like that._ She smirked to herself, finding some weird comfort in that cliché.

Ashlyn consciously decided to let the nerves go as best as she could while putting on her favorite bracelet and watch. She read the time: _8:10_. Her first class didn’t start until 9:30, so she knew she had just enough time to stop at her favorite breakfast joint, “Chapel Fill”, for coffee and a bagel. At first she loved the place for the play on Chapel Hill, but now it was a staple for her and her friends. She packed up her backpack with the essentials and headed out of her room and down the hall to check on her roommates.

“Hey, Tobin! Are you up yet?” Ashlyn asked loudly while knocking on Tobin’s door. She heard slow movement on the other side and figured it was Tobin just rolling out of bed. Once Tobin finally got to the door and opened it, Ashlyn knew she was right from the sleep still lingering in Tobin’s half open eyes,

“Dude, we have to get going if we want to stop at Chapel Fill before class starts.” Ashlyn reached in and flicked Tobin on the forehead, knowing it would send Tobin into a tiny rage, thus waking her up.

“Seriously? You’re such an ass, Harris.” With that, Tobin retreated to her room to start getting ready.

“KO. Your ass better be up or we’re leaving without you!” Ashlyn yelled from outside Kelley’s room. Ashlyn was usually the first up in the morning, so she had become accustomed to being the built-in alarm clock for her two best friends.

“Oh, fuck off! I’m up, I’ll be out in a minute.” Kelley was most definitely not a morning person; none of them were for that matter. But usually all it took was their usual from their favorite place for the trio to feel human again.

Ashlyn pulled out her phone from her back pocket and saw one message from her mother.

 **Mom:** Good luck today, sweetheart! I know you’re excited and nervous all at once, but just know that you are on your way to a bright future. Proud of you! Call later. XO.

Ashlyn smiled down at her phone, grateful that her mother always knew just what to say. She sent a quick text back thanking her before moving on to check her class schedule for the day. It was Tuesday, which meant it would be one of Ashlyn’s longer days at school. Her first class of the day was Peace Psychology, which she was happy to take, hearing that it was an easy A. All three of the roommates decided to take this class together, in hopes that it would force them to motivate each other into going to class. However, they all knew this was a lofty assumption to make about the three and their inability to make it to morning classes toward the end of the semester. Hopefully this semester would be different in that respect, but they knew it wouldn’t be.

Once everyone was ready to go, Ashlyn grabbed her water bottle and they headed out to breakfast.

\----------------------------------------------------------

On the other side of town, Ali was packing up her car with everything she would need for her classes that day. _Laptop – check, bag – check, phone – check._ She ran back into the house when she realized she left her wallet in her office. With all her nervousness centered around the day ahead, she was beyond distracted and was completely forgetting her everyday routine.

“Shit.” She exhaled, realizing she forgot to eat before leaving the house. _I guess I’ll just stop at that breakfast place around the corner from school._ She knew a lot of students ate there, but hadn’t tried it out since moving into the area a few months ago. She focused on driving in an attempt to ease her nerves, and sang along with the radio, which was playing Fight Song. At a red light, she started getting a little too into the song. After a solid minute of belting out the lyrics and dancing along, she looked to her right and made eye contact with a Jeep full of girls smiling and laughing in her direction. Ali immediately turned her head back, but it was far too late to even attempt to subdue the blushing that taken over her cheeks. _Great, those were definitely girls from UNC. Way to go, Ali._ Moments later the light turned green and Ali made her escape from the first of many awkward moments she was bound to have that day. She turned into the parking lot of Chapel Fill, and took a deep breath before turning her car off and heading inside.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“Well that was interesting, to say the least.” Declared Tobin. Still smiling from the encounter, Ashlyn nodded and kept on driving once the light turned green.

“She was hot, I wonder if she goes to UNC. I think I saw the parking pass hanging from her mirror.” Kelley said, reaching forward to slap Ashlyn on the arm, bring her back to reality.

“Yeah, maybe.” She hoped so, anyway. “She was definitely cute.”

They pulled into the parking lot and Tobin barely waited for the car to stop before jumping out.

“Jesus, Tobs. What, are you hungry or something? I couldn’t tell!” Ashlyn ribbed. Tobin turned around and stuck out her tongue in Ashlyn’s direction. Once she was out of the car, Ashlyn rounded the corner and threw her arm around Kelley’s shoulders and smiled down at her.

“You look nervous, Kel. You okay?” Ashlyn asked, genuinely concerned about her best friend.

“Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just those first day of school jitters; nothing coffee won’t fix!” Kelley put her arm around Ashlyn’s waist and squeezed. Ashlyn pulled Kelley into a hug to reassure here that she was there for her, always.

“Thanks, Ash. You’re seriously the best.”

“That’s what they tell me!” Ashlyn joked while walking into Chapel Fill

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again! I'm very happy with the response I have gotten from this story already. I'm having a lot of fun writing it, too! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Chapter 3 is already written, so let me know if you want it up today too and I'll see what I can do. Thank you, everyone!

The three girls took up a booth toward the back of the diner after putting in their orders and waited for their names to be called.

“Woah, look! It’s that dancing chick from the car!” said Tobin, loudly.

“Dude, shut up. You’re on level 10 this morning. I need you at like, a 3. Especially since I have not had any coffee yet.” Kelley explained.

“Sorry.” Tobin mumbled under her breath.

While this was happening, Ashlyn couldn’t help but stare at the brunette across the room, waiting on her breakfast. She was wearing a loose fitting purple blouse and tight grey pants. Ashlyn thought she looked a little too put together to be a student, but didn’t read too far into that thought. Just as Ashlyn was about to peel her eyes away from the cute girl, she dropped her keys and bent over to pick them up. Ashlyn gulped, audibly, which pulled Tobin and Kelley out of their banter. They both realized who Ashlyn was looking at and started to laugh. The brunette at the counter turned her head in their direction and instantly made eye contact with Ashlyn, who blushed but held her gaze and smiled. The girl smiled back for a second, but soon turned her head back to the counter. _Damn, that smile…_

“Ali.” Said the guy behind the counter. “Have a great day.”

Ali grabbed her food and coffee, and turned to leave.

“Well, now we know her name.” Said Tobin, elbowing Ashlyn. But nothing could pull her attention away from Ali. _I have got to meet that girl._

“Yo, earth to Ashlyn.” Kelley waved her hands in front of Ashlyn’s face. Ashlyn looked at Kelley and smiled apologetically.

“Ashlyn, Tobin, Kelley. Orders up.”

“I’ll get it.” Ashley got up, knowing she needed a moment to cool down. She shook her head at herself and waked over to the counter.

“Thanks.” She told the guy behind the counter.

She sat back down with her friends and took a sip of her coffee.

“Hurry up and eat, guys. We don’t have much time before we need to get to class.” Kelley said. Ashlyn shot her a smile letting her know not to worry so much. They finished eating, grabbed their coffees and headed back out to the Jeep.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_Well, there goes awkward moment number two for the day, and it’s not even 9:15._ Ali replayed the encounter in her head a few times. When she turned around after hearing laughter, she made eye contact with the same girl for the second time that morning, and felt her stomach tighten in response. But that was nothing compared to the feeling she got when the blonde flashed a smile her way. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ She thought. _Let’s just hope she’s not in one of my classes._

Ali turned into the parking garage and, by some miracle, found a spot almost instantly. She grabbed her things and headed to her first class. Despite the way her morning turned out, she had a feeling it was going to be a good first day. She needed this; she needed a fresh start. After everything she had been through the previous year, there was no way she could let herself down again. _It’s now or never…_

Ali reached the classroom where her first class would take place and took a deep breath before entering. There was no one there yet, which was a good thing because it allowed Ali to mentally prepare some more. She sat down at the desk and pulled out her laptop to make sure everything was in order for her day full of classes.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Ashlyn, Kelley, and Tobin made it to their first class with a few minutes to spare and sat down closer to the back of the classroom together. Ashlyn took out her notebook and put the date at the top of the page. She usually started off each semester with the mentality of being a “good student” but that would likely subside once distractions came around. Ashlyn was a sucker for a good party, and cute girls; the fact that it was her last year at UNC would probably only make that weakness more difficult to keep at bay.

“Ash, can I borrow a pen?” Asked Tobin.

“Are you serious? Wait, did you even bring a backpack?” Ashlyn looked around, realizing just then that Tobin was completely unprepared.

“Yeah… I guess I need a piece of paper too.” Tobin smirked. While Ashlyn may have seemed annoyed, she was not entirely surprised by her best friends antics.

“You’re really something, Tobs.” Kelley said, handing Tobin a piece of paper, while Ashlyn handed her a pen.

“After classes today, we are going to get you supplies. Don’t even try to argue with me.” Ashlyn shoved Tobin lightly and laughed at her best friend.

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say, Ash.”

“Good morning, class! This is Peace Psychology, so if you are not supposed to be here, now is the time to leave. I am Professor Lewis, and I am excited to get to know everyone.” Said the professor. Everyone was already listening intently to her, hoping to keep her happy in order to make everyone’s life a little easier.

“We are going to go around the room and I want everyone to say their names, their major, and something interesting about themselves.”

“Great,” Ashlyn groaned under her breath. No one liked these little icebreaker things, yet pretty much every teacher did them on the first day.

“Let’s start on the left here and we’ll go back and forth by row.” Luckily that meant the trio would be last to speak, which they were all grateful for.

By the time it was their turn to speak, they heard all kinds of majors, from psychology to economics to everything in between. People shared things about their hobbies or sports they played, but the girls knew exactly what they would say when it came to them.

“Hi, I’m Ashlyn Harris. I’m a senior, and I major in communication studies. Oh, and I play here as a goalkeeper on the soccer team.” Ashlyn shared, with a smile.

“What’s up, my name is Tobin Heath. I am also a senior, also majoring in communications and I also play for the soccer team. I’m a midfielder.” Tobin smiled and turned to Kelley, letting her know it was her turn.

“Oh, um, hello. My name is Kelley O’Hara, also a senior, double majoring in science and psychology. Like these two goons I also play soccer. You’ll find me pretty much anywhere on the field. Careful, Ash. I might take your spot.” Kelley joked, looking over at Ashlyn who was sticking out her tongue. The quip got a few chuckles and the class continued on.

Once the introductions were finished, the professor went over the syllabus, which, to Ashlyn’s excitement, seemed fairly easy. The professor, with about 20 minutes to spare, let the class out early.

“What’s next for you, Ash? I have Public Speaking.” Said Tobin. Ashlyn pulled out her phone to check.

“Learning and memory, I guess. It’s one of my psychology minor requirements.” She groaned. “Why did I pick this minor?” Complained Ashlyn.

“Oh come on. At least you don’t have to take a shit-ton of science courses AND psychology courses like this kid.” Kelley said, pointing to herself.

“Yeah, I am not jealous.” Said Ashlyn. “Well I’ll see you guys around 1. You have breaks then too right? We’ll grab lunch.”

“Sounds good!” Yelled Tobin, who was already a few feet away.

“See you both later! Good luck!” Kelley waved, and turned to walk toward class.

Ashlyn took a deep breath before starting on her way. She looked down at her phone to check out the professor for her next class. Her schedule read: Learning and Memory: Professor – Dr. Alexandra Krieger. _Here goes nothing,_ Ashlyn thought as she walked into her second class of the day. Little did she know, it would soon become her favorite.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post another chapter tonight since I'm just about finished with chapter 4. I really hope you are all enjoying this one. I'm loving all the feedback. Keep it coming! Hope you like this chapter.

Ashlyn walked into the classroom without taking her eyes off her phone. She was scrolling through Instagram when all of a sudden she walked right into someone. She instinctively reached out and held onto the strangers arm to help regain her balance.

“Oh shit, I’m so – “ Ashlyn stopped mid apology. She finally looked up and was face to face with quite possibly the most beautiful person she had ever seen; the same girl she seemed to keep running into that morning. _Breathe, Ashlyn. Breathe! Better yet, speak!_

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?” She asked, concerned that she might have hurt Ali since she had an unreadable look on her face.

“Ye – yeah, I’m okay.” Ali said, looking down at the blonde’s hand wrapped around her arm.

Ashlyn quickly let go and reached to scratch at the back of her own neck. _Well that’s embarrassing._

“Didn’t I see you a couple times this morning? Seems like we just keep ending up in the same place at the same time.” Ashlyn laughed, keeping eye contact with the brunette in front of her.

“Yeah, seems like it.” Ali smiled and turned to walk away.

Ashlyn watched her take a few steps before regaining control of her own legs. She made her way to an empty seat on the left side of the classroom and got comfortable. She wished she had seen where Ali was sitting before so she could sit next to her, but at this point she was just standing in the front of the class. Ashlyn watched intently has Ali started writing on the board. _Ali… Alexandra Krieger… What… Holy shit. Ali is the professor. Ali is Dr. Alexandra Krieger._

“Good morning class. My name is Dr. Alexandra Krieger and I am your professor for learning and memory this semester.” Ali started, she glanced over at Ashlyn, who was still taking it all in with wide eyes. Ali smirked in her direction, which sent chills down Ashlyn’s spine. _Oh fuck,_ Ashlyn thought. Her mind was going a mile a minute and she was barely listening to the words coming out of her professor’s mouth. She slowly snapped herself out of it and rejoined reality.

“I know you all hate those icebreaker games, but I do want to get to know you guys. So we’re going to go around the room, tell me your name, your year, your major, and a little something about yourselves. We’ll start with you.” Ali looked directly at Ashlyn, which again, sent a chill down her spine.

“Uh…” Ashlyn thought for a moment. _Come on, you idiot. Speak! Say your damn name._

 _“_ My name is Ashlyn Harris. I’m a senior and I’m majoring in Communications. Oh, and I, uh,” Ashlyn paused, realizing how intently Ali was listening to her speak. Something about this girl made her lose her damn mind, but she kind of liked it.

“I’m a goalkeeper for the women’s soccer team here.” Ashlyn somehow found the strength to shoot Ali her dimpled smile before the guy next to her started his introduction. Ashlyn watched as Ali’s cheeks slowly turned red while she shifter her attention to the next student.

\--------------------------------------------

If Ali was being honest, and she usually was, she could not stop thinking about the blonde who just kept appearing out of thin air. It was as if some outside force was pulling them together. From the moment Ashlyn bumped into her, Ali couldn’t subdue the butterflies in her stomach. She tried to play it cool, but the second Ashlyn flashed her a smile, Ali could feel her knees start to buckle, realizing she needed to peel her eyes away from the blonde before someone noticed. While she was thinking about Ashlyn, she became aware of the fact that she had missed nearly half of the classes’ introductions. She turned her attention back to the students and listened closely.

“Thank you everyone for sharing. I guess I’ll share a little about myself too. I actually went here, to UNC, and received my undergrad in psychology. Then I went to Georgetown University for my Doctorate. I finished that in three years, so as you can imagine, I didn’t eat, sleep, or even breathe for about three years.” The classed laughed and Ali decided to continue. “I know your brains are all trying to use that information to calculate my age, so I’ll save you the trouble. I’m 27.” _Did I really just tell the entire class my age? Someone save me._

“I’m happy to hear a lot of you play sports here; that was something I always loved as a student. The school pride is unlike any other university I have ever seen. The teams here are absolutely phenomenal. So, I’m sure some of you will see me at your games.” She declared. With that said, she turned to look at Ashlyn, who was blatantly staring at, what Ali assumed to be her ass. Ashlyn must have felt Ali’s stare because their eyes met once again, sending a shock through Ali’s entire body. _What is going on with me?_ She thought. Ali knew she needed to snap out of whatever was going on with her, so she decided to turn her attention to the syllabus. She threw herself into explaining her teaching methods and expectations for the semester ahead.

“I like to have fun in my classes, and I know you guys want to have fun too. So, come to class and you’ll see just what I mean.” She saw a few students smile and relax a bit. She didn’t like making learning difficult for students. She wanted them to want to be there, and she hoped that if she could keep them entertained, then they would keep coming back.

“Well, to stay on your good graces, I’m letting you out 15 minutes early. So, remember that the next time I hold you all till the final seconds of class. Have a great rest of your day, everyone!” She waved to the class and sat down at the front desk to gather her things. She was feeling very good about her second class of the day. The first one went smoothly, but this one really woke her up. She tried to convince herself that a certain blonde had nothing to do with that, but was unsuccessful once she realized that same blonde was heading over to her.

“Hey, Dr. Krieger. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for not paying attention to where I was going earlier. I really didn’t mean to slam into you like that. I hope you still come to some of our games.” Ashlyn finished with her award-winning smile. Ali was grateful to be sitting down because she knew that one more of those smiles meant she’d be on the ground in the fetal position.

“Don’t worry about it, Ashlyn. Really, I wasn’t paying much attention either. And I most definitely will be attending your games. The women’s soccer team is one of my favorites to watch.” _Liar,_ Ali thought to herself. _You know good and well that they are now your favorite._

“Awesome. Well I can shoot you an email with our schedule attached if you would like.” Ashlyn smile lingered and Ali couldn’t even think anymore.

“Yeah, that would be perfect. Thanks, Ashlyn.”

“Not a problem, Dr. Krieger. Well, I’ll see you on Thursday.” Ashlyn leaned forward. “But I’m sure I’ll run into you again before that.” And with that, Ashlyn was off, leaving Ali reeling from her comment. _Well,_ she thought, _this has bad news written all over it._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! This one is slightly longer than the previous chapters, but it is about to get good ;) Thank you everyone for your comments and for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think.

Before Ashlyn could even process everything that happened just a few minutes ago, she made her way to the dining hall to meet up with her best friends for lunch. Tobin and Kelley were already outside waiting when Ashlyn showed up, smiling to herself.

“Why are you smiling? What are you up to?” Kelley interrogated.

“What? Nothing! My last class was just… interesting to say the least.” Ashlyn shared.

“Spill it!” Kelley said eagerly.

“Look, I want to know too, but can we please get inside and eat? I’m starving!” Tobin was always hungry, so this was nothing new to the other two.

“Yes, Tobin. Let’s go eat.” Ashlyn said, shaking her head. Once they got inside they each went their separate ways to get the food they wanted. After a few minutes, they sat down at their usual table and started eating.

“Okay, I’m ready now. Do tell.” Tobin said.

Ashlyn took a deep breath and started, “so you guys remember the brunette from the red light and Chapel Fill?” Kelley and Tobin nodded. “Well, she’s my professor. Her name is Dr. Alexandra Krieger. And if she was hot before, holy shit does this up the ante.”

“Woah… That’s major!” Tobin stuck out her hand for a high five and Ashlyn returned the gesture.

“Hold on, she looked like a student though! How old could she possibly be if she’s a doctor?” Kelley pressed, always thinking.

“Well she got her doctorate in, like, three years or something. So she’s only 27. Crazy, right?”

“Crazy isn’t even the word…” Kelley said with her mouth full of the sandwich she was devouring.

“Yeah, and it gets better. Before I even realized she was the professor, I ran right into her before class started and practically manhandled her arm to keep us both from falling.” Ashlyn replayed the moment in her mind and smiled at the thought. “We did one of those introduction games again and once everyone went she told us about herself. She went here to UNC! And she said something about loving the school spirit at the sports games. So after class I told her I hoped to see her at our games, and that I would email her the schedule for this season.”

“Wow, aren’t you forward? What did she say then?” Kelley asked, obviously more invested in the story then Tobin was, but this wasn’t surprising since Tobin was attacking her plate like it was about to get up and run away.

“She said she would definitely be there! I honestly can’t wait for Friday’s game. I really hope I see her there in the stands.” Ashlyn thought about the possibility of her professor seeing her play and got butterflies instantly. “On second thought, how am I supposed to concentrate with her in the stands? Oh, god. I am so regretting that decision.” Ashlyn put her face into her hands and tried to breath slowly.

“Ash, relax.” Kelley put her arm around Ashlyn’s shoulders and squeezed. “We all know you perform best under pressure, so don’t pretend like you won’t be on your A-game with Dr. Hot-Stuff in the stands.”

Ashlyn laughed. Kelley was right; Ashlyn was like a switch under pressure. When she needed to be on, she was on.

“You’re right, Kel. I guess I’m just nervous around her in generally. I mean, you saw her; those eyes, that smile. I have never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.” Ashlyn admitted.

“Wow, thanks a lot, Ash.” Tobin stuck out her bottom lip and sent puppy dog eyes in Ashlyn’s direction. “I guess I’ve been replaced.”

“Oh stop it, Tobs.” Kelley reached over and covered Tobin’s face with her hand.

“Ash, she would be crazy not to think the same of you. You’re only problem here is that she’s your professor.” Kelley always knew how to keep Ashlyn honest.

“I don’t know… That doesn’t seem like much of an issue to me…” Tobin instigated. Kelley shot her a look before turning her attention to Ashlyn, who was clearly occupied by her own thoughts at that time.

Ashlyn was thinking about the fact that Ali was, in fact, a professor, but not just a professor, a doctor. Maybe this should have discouraged her a little, but it only fueled the fire inside her that burned for Ali. All Ashlyn wanted was to be near Ali; she had quickly become greedy thanks to the amount of times she happened to share the same air as Ali that day alone. Ashlyn knew she had to make something happen, but as to what that something was going to be, she had no idea.

\-------------------------------------------------

By the time Ali’s last class ended she was exhausted. Between running around campus from class to class and constantly thinking about one particular blonde, she was more than ready to end the day and get home. Just as she reached her car, her phone started ringing. She pulled it out of her bag and smiled.

“Hey, Pinoe! What’s up?” Ali was more than happy to hear from her best friend, even though she was running on fumes.

“What up, Kriegs! How was your first day?” Megan asked. Ali couldn’t help but smile even more at how kind it was for Megan to be checking up on her.

“It was awesome, seriously. I really have a good feeling about this semester, and the whole year in general. The students seem excited to learn and I’m even more excited to teach them.”

“I’m really proud of you, babe. I know you had a tough year last year, but I see big things for you at UNC. Listen, I know you’re probably drained from today, but I would love to celebrate with you tonight. We can go get ice cream from your favorite place…” Megan trailed off, waiting for a reply from Ali.

“I am tired, but how could I turn down ice cream with my best friend? Pick me up at 8. Sound good?” Ali had been tired a few moments ago, but Pinoe always knew how to bring the energy out of her.

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” And with that, Ali hung up and started her drive home.

Once home, Ali decided to change into something more comfortable. She threw on an old UNC women’s soccer shirt from her days as a student and a pair of jean shorts. Ali made an attempt to convince herself that it was a random choice; that the shirt just jumped out at her. Only, she knew that wasn’t true. The second she saw the shirt her mind found its way back to Ashlyn. Ali thought about the way Ashlyn’s shirt hugged her body, and the way she smiled like it was only meant for Ali. _That dimple…_ she thought.

A loud knock at her front door pulled Ali from her daydream and she went to go let Megan in.

“Kriegs!” Yelled an excited Pinoe. She practically tackled Ali with a hug and the two just laughed.

“Hey, Pinoe. Thanks so much for celebrating with me tonight. I was so ready to just go to bed, but I’m really glad you’re here. I need this tonight.” Ali admitted.

“Well good! I really am proud of you and I just thought, what better way to show you than your favorite ice cream place!” Megan said, cupping Ali’s face with her hands. “You inspire me, Ali. I just want you to know that.” With that, Megan pulled Ali into a crushing bear hug that picked her up off the ground.

“Oh, god. I believe you! But you’re going to crack my ribs!” Ali pleaded.

“Sorry, sorry. Well, let’s get that ice cream!” Pinoe put her arm around Ali’s shoulders and they made their way to the car. Ali looked over at her best friend and wondered how she got so lucky to have so much support from the people in her life.

“Thank you, Pinoe. For everything.” Ali side hugged her best friend and they made their way to the ice cream parlor.

\-------------------------------------------------

Back at the house, the roommates were all lounging in the living room, eating pizza and drinking beer. They decided to have a relaxing night in since their coach actually gave them the afternoon off from practice, with it being the first day of classes and all. A few friends had invited them out to a party, but they just wanted to hang out with each other and recap each of their days.

“Damn, this pizza is awesome. I forgot how good Giovanni’s is.” Tobin expressed.

“Hell yeah, good call Ashlyn.” Kelley said with a mouth full of pizza.

“You know what would make tonight even better?” Tobin smiled, waiting for her friends to guess what she was thinking.

“If you say Monopoly Deal I will kill you.” Threatened Ashlyn.

“No! Well, that’s a given, but that’s not what I was referring too! Let’s go get ice cream! I’m seriously craving a cone right now.” Tobin was practically out the door before Kelley and Ashlyn could even agreed.

“Alright, Tobs. Let’s get you some ice cream.” Kelley said while getting up and heading towards the door.

“You guys go; I’m going to hang out here. I’m not really in the mood for ice cream.” Ashlyn felt completely beat from the day and just wanted to get to sleep.

“Not in the mood for… Who are you?” Tobin had a look of disgust on her face. Ashlyn just laughed.

“Alright, well do you want us to bring you home anything?” Asked Kelley, the more understanding one of Ashlyn’s best friends.

“No thanks, I’m good. I’m just going to get some sleep.” And with that, Ashlyn made her way to her room.

About 15 minutes later, Ashlyn was just about ready to get in bed when her phone went off multiple times. She looked and saw 5 texts from Tobin and 2 from Kelley. _What the hell…_

**Tobin:** DUDE, ALI IS HERE.

**Tobin:** PROFESSOR HOTTIE IS HERE

**Tobin:** ALI

**Tobin:** IS

**Tobin:** HERE

“WHAT?” Ashlyn yelled.

**Kelley:** Ash, you need to get here now.

**Kelley:** Dr. Attractive is here getting ice cream.

“Fuck! The one damn time I want to go to sleep early!” Ashlyn was running around her room, looking for clothes to wear. She threw on her favorite red plaid flannel, black joggers, and her Hurley snapback. Before she knew it, she was in a full sprint out to her car. She flew out of the driveway and made her way to the ice cream parlor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again! Here's a second chapter for today for you guys. I'm pretty much done with the next one too, so expect that in the morning. Thank you all so much for reading and keep that feedback coming. I'm loving the comments!

By the time Ashlyn made it to the ice cream parlor, Ali and the girl she was with were sitting at a table outside. Ashlyn took a deep breath before getting out of the car. She shot Kelley a text telling her she was there and to get her an ice cream cone with chocolate and vanilla soft serve with sprinkles. There was no way Ashlyn was about to get in that long line when she could be talking it up with Ali instead. Kelley sent Ashlyn the thumbs up emoji and with that, Ashlyn got out of the car and made her way over to Ali. While walking for what seemed like a lifetime, Ashlyn got a closer look at the friend she was with and instantly worried that the two might be a little more than friends. _What if that’s her girlfriend? Shit…_ Ashlyn thought. But it was too late to turn back now, because just then Ali looked up and made eye contact with Ashlyn. Ashlyn decided to just go with it. _What’s the worst that could happen?_ She got closer and sent a smile Ali’s way.

“Hey, Dr. Krieger! I’d say it’s a surprise to see you again, but with our luck today it’s really not.” Ashlyn played it cool, as if she didn’t just break 3 different laws getting there.

“Hi, Ashlyn. Yeah, not really a surprise at all.” Ali smiled back. For a moment, they just looked at each other in silence.

“Ashlyn!” Yelled Tobin who was waving Ashlyn over.

“Excuse me.” Ashlyn smiled apologetically. She jogged over to her friends and took her ice cream from Kelley. “Thanks, Kel.”

“You look a little nervous there, buddy. You okay?” Tobin asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I guess. I just hope that girl she’s with isn’t her girlfriend.” Ashlyn admitted.

“Oh, she’s not.” Tobin and Ashlyn both looked at Kelley completely confused.

“What? I was eavesdropping. The girl she’s with was talking about her girlfriend at one point.” Kelley said, immediately easing the tension Ashlyn was feeling.

“Guys, am I crazy to think anything could ever happen between Ali and I?” Ashlyn exhaled while staring at Ali, who was laughing at something her friend said.

Just then, Ali looked over at Ashlyn and smiled again, only this time something was different. Ashlyn couldn’t pinpoint exactly what the look in Ali’s eyes was, but whatever it was made Ashlyn’s stomach flip.

“Well, based off that look she just gave you, I’m going to go with no.” Tobin laughed. Ashlyn just kept on staring, not wanting to break the eye contact they had going on.

“Ash.” Kelley said, waiting for a response. “Ash!”

Ashlyn finally pulled her eyes from the brunette and saw Kelley pointing down at her pants. Ashlyn groaned when she saw that her ice cream was pretty much completely melting and now all over her.

“That’s fucking great.” Ashlyn exhaled while wiping herself off with a napkin. She got most of it off, and luckily her pants were a dark grey, but that didn’t change the fact that she was now totally embarrassed. However, that was not going to stop her from talking to Ali again. The pull she was feeling between herself and Ali was too strong to keep restrained. She had to make a move, and she had to make it now.

\------------------------------------------------

Ali couldn’t believe Ashlyn was there getting ice cream. When she first spotter her walking in her direction she couldn’t breathe, and she couldn’t help but stare. She had practically forgotten Pinoe was there until she felt a shove to her shoulder.

“What the hell was that?” Asked Pinoe, who was giving Ali a look that could have burned right through her.

“Oh, uh, she’s one of my students.” Ali tried to play it off, but knew nothing would ever get by Pinoe.

“No shit. That wasn’t what I was referring to though. I mean that look you just gave her… You looked like you were ready to jump her.” Ali just laughed in response to the acquisition. “I’m serious, Al. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look at someone like that before.” Pinoe just wasn’t going to let this go until she had an answer that satisfied her.

“I think you’re exaggerating a little bit. I was just being friendly.” Ali claimed, knowing Pinoe would see right through that excuse.

“Bullshit! You want her!” Pinoe said excitedly, practically yelling at Ali.

“Oh my god, would you keep it down?” Ali pleaded. “Fine, so what I think she’s attractive,” Ali looked over at Ashlyn who was now sitting with her friends, “like, really good-looking…” Ali looked back at Pinoe, knowing she needed to stop staring before she got caught. “But it doesn’t matter, because like I said, she’s a student.”

“Ali, come on. You’re not a middle aged women or something. You’re young too! You couldn’t be more than 5 years older than her, so why not go for it? She is clearly crushing on you too, I mean who wouldn’t want to get with you?” Pinoe said, causing Ali to laugh. Pinoe was right, though. Sure, Ali was her professor and that kind of thing was frowned upon, but there had to be a reason they kept running into each other like this. Ali looked over at Ashlyn again, who was already looking back at Ali. Right then, Ali decided to let her guard down and let the chips fall as they may. _Whatever happens, happens,_ she thought.

“Al, I’m all for this, but just be careful, okay? I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble over something so stupid.” Ali turned back to her best friend and gave her an understanding smile.

“I know, I’ll be careful, I promise. Besides, she probably doesn’t feel the same way.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Pinoe nodded in Ashlyn’s direction, causing Ali to turn back and see the blonde heading over to their table. Ali just looked down at her ice cream and tried to breathe.

“Hey, I’m Megan, Ali’s best friend in the whole wide world.” Pinoe stood up with an out stretched hand for Ashlyn to shake, which she did. “Want to join us? We were just talking about – “ Before Pinoe could finish Ali kicked her in the shins under the table. “Sports, we were talking about sports.” Pinoe finished, holding back her laughter.

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn asked while sitting down across from Ali. “Speaking of sports, nice shirt.” Ashlyn nodded at Ali, who looked down and remembered she was wearing her old UNC women’s soccer shirt. “Is that from when you went to UNC?” Ashlyn asked.

“Yeah, it is actually.” Ali said, looking down at her shirt, slightly embarrassed now that Ashlyn was seeing her in it.

“I think you need a new one. Hold on.” Ashlyn got up and jogged over to her Jeep. Pinoe looked at Ali, but Ali couldn’t take her eyes off Ashlyn, even for a second.

Ashlyn came back with a t-shirt in hand. “Here, this is a new one. Well, not a new one, it’s mine, but you should probably retire that one.” Ashlyn nodded and handed the shirt to Ali. Ali went to take the shirt from her when her fingers brushed across Ashlyn’s hand, sending a chill up her arm and through her entire body.

“Oh, thanks. That’s really nice of you.” Ali smiled across the table at Ashlyn, who smiled back.

“No probably. You can keep it under one condition.” Ashlyn smirked, and Ali swallowed hard in response to Ashlyn’s flirting. “You have to wear it to the game on Friday. You should come too!” Ashlyn said, looking at Pinoe, who was just trying to take in their interactions.

“Hell yeah, I’ll be there!” Pinoe said.

“Sure, I’ll wear it Friday.” Ali bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing awkwardly. But this only made Ashlyn drop her eyes down to Ali’s mouth. Once she looked back up into Ali’s eyes, Ali could see the lust she was feeling for her. Not knowing what to do, she tore her eyes away from Ashlyn and looked at Pinoe, who was just about ready to drop to the floor laughing.

“Are you ready to go? I’ve got an early day tomorrow. Ashlyn, I’ll see you on Thursday. Don’t be late.” She winked at Ashlyn and started to get up.

“Oh, I won’t be…” Ashlyn trailed off, but Ali saw Ashlyn’s eyes rake up and down her body. This sent a shiver down Ali’s spine, and she knew she had to get out of their, fast. “See you Thursday. And it was nice meeting you, Megan.” Ashlyn reached out her fist and Megan tapped her own fist against Ashlyn’s.

“See you Friday at the game!” Pinoe said while walking away. She looked at Ali and smiled. “Well that was fun.” Ali chuckled at Pinoe’s subtlety.

“I’m screwed.” Ali admitted while getting in Pinoe’s car.

“Yes you are, my friend. Yes you are.” And with that, the two were on their way back to Ali’s house. At this point, nothing could keep her mind from wandering back to Ashlyn, and she was started to feel okay with that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update for you guys! I hope you like it. Expect chapter 7 later on today. That one gets a bit smutty, so I'm nervous to post it. Either way, I appreciate all the feedback! Thank you for reading.

The next day seemed to drag along for Ashlyn. Despite her constant searching for even the slightest sign of Ali, she hadn’t seen her once that day and she only had one class left. Luckily, Kelley and Tobin were in this class with her and they could provide some much needed distraction to the goalkeeper.

She walked into her last class of the day and was waved over to her desk by Kelley. Tobin was too distracted by something to notice Ashlyn, so she decided to have a little fun with it. She crept around the other side of the classroom and practically jumped on Tobin.

“What the fuck! Ashlyn, that’s not funny, dude. Damn, you scared the shit out of me.” Tobin was breathing heavy, but laughing all the same.

“Sorry, Tobs. I couldn’t miss out on such an opportunity.” She watched as Tobin’s attention shifted back to whatever occupied it before. Ashlyn followed Tobin’s eyes to a girl who was laughing at their antics across the room.

“Ah, I see how it is.” Ashlyn laughed.

“She’s been making eyes at that girl since we got here. It’s sickening.” Kelley shared.

“Shut up.” Tobin exhaled under her breath and finally took her eyes off the girl across the room.

“Isn’t that Alex Morgan? She just transferred from a school out in California. She’s on the team, Tobin.” Ashlyn informed her already smitten friend.

“You don’t think I know this already? We have two other classes together.” Tobin smiled down at her phone. Ashlyn looked over and saw Alex’s name pop up.

“Get it, Tobs!” Ashlyn yelled, excited for her best friend.

“Again, shut up please. I don’t want to scare her off. She’s really awesome.” Tobin looked up at Alex again and they just kept on smiling at each other.

“Gross. Just keep your hands to yourselves at practice later. I don’t need to see that shit.” Ashlyn complained. She wouldn’t let Tobin know this, ever, but she was happy for her best friend.

The class began and time seemed to move a little quicker. Ashlyn was excited to get out on the field for practice with her best friends and teammates. She was always at her happiest on the pitch and nothing, or no one, would ever change that.

\-----------------------------------------------

The day moved just as slowly for Ali. She was missing a certain someone, but wouldn’t let herself get caught up in it this early on. She was searching for Ashlyn relentlessly throughout the day, but it just seemed like their schedules were opposites. _Too bad, I could really use that smile right about now._ Ali found herself daydreaming about the blonde more than once that day. She just couldn’t shake this feeling. More than anything she was just excited for the next day to come, when she would get to be near Ashlyn again.

Ali’s final class was over and she made her way out to the parking garage to head home. While walking to her car, she noticed, just a few cars away from her own, Ashlyn was in the back of her Jeep looking for something. Ali immediately got excited and quickened her pace to say hello. It had been a long day with no sightings of each other, so Ali was happy to end her day with the girl who’s smile occupied her mind. Before Ali could make her presence known to the goalkeeper, Ashlyn pulled off her shirt, revealing abs more amazing than Ali’s imagination could actually come up with. _Holy hell…_ Ali wasn’t sure if she should run the other way or take Ashlyn down right there. She decided to let Ashlyn know she was there so it wasn’t creepy if she noticed Ali staring first. Ali cleared her throat to get Ashlyn’s attention.

“Oh! Ali, I – “ Ashlyn stopped and quickly pulled on her practice jersey. “I mean, Dr. Krieger. I was just… I was just changing for practice.” Ashlyn stuttered while smoothing out her shirt.

“In the parking garage? Don’t they give you locker rooms for that?” Ali smiled, ignoring the fact that Ashlyn had unconsciously called her Ali at first.

“Yeah, they do. I just forgot my bag in my car and I’m not going to have time to change before practice if I don’t now. Sorry you had to see that.” Ashlyn chucked while rubbing the back of her neck. Ali could tell Ashlyn was nervous; _this could be fun_ , she thought.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. I didn’t mind the view.” Ali winked and walked over to the driver side door of her car, purposefully leaving Ashlyn to soak in that comment.

“Wait a second.” Ashlyn followed behind Ali, who was already leaning with her back against her car, arms crossed, waiting for Ashlyn to continue. “Are you flirting with me?” Ashlyn asked, closing the distance between them. Ashlyn put her hand on Ali’s car right by her shoulder and looked down into Ali’s eyes.

“I might be…” Ali looked up at Ashlyn. She could now feel Ashlyn’s body lean into hers; she wanted nothing but for the blonde to close the gap between their lips but knew it was a bad idea. She put her hand out onto Ashlyn’s stomach and could feel her abs tighten at the touch. Ali second guessed her control for a moment, but knew it was the best decision to stop Ashlyn before something happened.

“Don’t you have a practice to get to?” Ali asked and watched as Ashlyn stepped back and looked at her watch.

“Shit. Yeah, I have to go. Coach is going to kill me.” Ashlyn turned to leave, but quickly turned back and gave Ali a kiss on the cheek. Before she pulled away, Ashlyn said, “this isn’t over though.” She winked at Ali, grabbed her bag from her trunk and set out in a sprint to practice. Ali could feel her knees give out at the thought of more happening between the two, and she could feel the tension building. She had to admit it though; she liked every second of it.

\-------------------------------------------------

At practice, Ashlyn was finding it extremely difficult to focus when she could still feel Ali’s cheek against her lips. She hadn’t really thought about what she did before it happened, and she also didn’t hang around long enough to see Ali’s reaction. _Shit, what if I totally crossed the line?_ Ashlyn though, starting to freak out a bit. Before she could even react, Kelley took a shot from outside the 18 and Ashlyn heard the sound of the ball hitting the net behind her. Kelley ran over to Ashlyn and put her arm around her.

“Ash, what’s up with you? I could have made that save.” She insisted.

“I kissed her cheek, Kelley.” Ashlyn admitted while sending the ball back up to the line.

“WHAT?” Kelley yelled, drawing the attention of every girl on the field. Kelley waved them off and turned back to Ashlyn, smiling apologetically.

“Yeah, she was flirting and I was flirting and we were so close to kissing. Then she stopped me and reminded me I had practice to get to, so I kissed her on the cheek. How fucking stupid am I?” Ashlyn looked at Kelley, who was now laughing.

“You aren’t stupid, Ash. You said she was flirting with you! I’m sure she liked the kiss. Maybe she just wants to take things a little slower? I’m sure that will change once she sees you in goal tomorrow night.” Kelley winked. Girls told Ashlyn all the time how sexy she looked in between the goal posts. But Ali was different. Ali made Ashlyn nervous; nervous enough to miss easy shots and ruin her focus.

“Look, I can see how nervous you are, but tomorrow is the first game of the season and you need to be on top of your game; we need you on top of this, Ash.” Kelley said, getting serious with the keeper now.

“I know, you’re right. I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll ask her not to come to the game tomorrow. I just need to figure out how to explain that to her without losing control of the situation.” Ashlyn decided she would go see Ali during her office hours to explain how nervous she made her, and that maybe it wasn’t the best for her to come to the game. She just hoped she could control herself and ignore all the tension building between them, but she knew she really just wanted to be alone with Ali.

“Good, maybe that’s for the best.” Kelley had a good head on her shoulders and always knew how to talk her friend off the cliff. Little did she know, Ashlyn was just working herself up in her head about the potential of getting Ali alone. Now she just had to wait until after class tomorrow.

“HARRIS, O’HARA, GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!” Coach yelled, clearly angry with them for wasting so much of practice talking.

“Sorry, coach.” The two said in unison and continued on with practice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's a second chapter of the day for you guys! It's long, like almost twice as long as the others. You'll see why I couldn't just split it up. Enjoy! As always, feedback is more than welcome ;)

Ali woke up the next morning and felt excited for the day. She would get to see Ashlyn in class and on the field, something she had been looking forward to all week. Not to mention she would get to hang out with her best friend again, which was always a plus in her book. She decided to wear her favorite dress that hugged her body in all the right places. She figured Ashlyn would appreciate the views during class. The more she thought about Ashlyn the less she cared about the consequences. She knew it was dangerous, she knew it could all come back and bite her in the ass, but she was becoming addicted to Ashlyn’s smile, her eyes, and they way she looked right into Ali’s. Up until this point in her life, Ali always played it safe. She was never a gambling person, and she never took a chance on anything that wasn’t a sure thing. Ashlyn may have expressed her desire for Ali, but nothing in this situation was safe, and for some reason, that only enticed Ali more. After she was finished getting ready, she grabbed a breakfast bar, her coffee, and a banana, and made her way out to her car.

On the drive into school, she could see how pumped the students were for the game that night and it brought Ali back to her college days. She really loved school spirit; it was something that always inspired her, and she was sure it would do the same tonight. She grabbed her things and walked into the building where her first class was held and waited for her students to arrive. She pulled out her laptop and opened up her email to find an email from Ashlyn Harris. She smiled at the screen and opened it up. The email read:

Hello Dr. Krieger,

Would it be possible to meet with you at your office hours today?

Thank you,

Ashlyn Harris

Ali couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Obviously she was hopeful that Ashlyn just wanted to spend a little extra time with Ali, but part of her felt like something was wrong. She sent back an email that read:

Ashlyn,

Of course, I look forward to seeing you. I can’t wait to watch you play tonight.

Sincerely,

Dr. Alexandra Krieger

She read the email 5 times before sending it. Hopefully it wasn’t too forward, but Ali wanted Ashlyn to know where she was coming from and where she was hoping their interactions would go.

Ali’s first class went by quickly and she was more than happy to get to her second class of the day to see Ashlyn. She situated herself in the front of the room and leaned back on her desk as she watched the students filter in. A few minutes later, Ashlyn came in wearing a tight button up shirtsleeve shirt and nice dress pants. Ali knew it was tradition to dress up on game days, but was not expecting to be so turned on but just the sight of Ashlyn. _This girl can dress, damn._ Good fashion sense was such a turn on for Ali, and Ashlyn was hitting the nail right on the head.

Ashlyn walked up to Ali and gave her a quick once over before subtly biting her lip.

“Ashlyn.” Ali nodded. That was just about all she could muster up at that moment.

“Doc.” Ashlyn smiled, not knowing just how much that nickname would affect Ali. “You’re looking good today.” Ashlyn said quietly so no one could hear her.

Ali smiled and decided to take control of the situation. “Have a seat, Harris. I’ll see you after class.” Ali turned around and started writing on the board for the class to begin taking notes. Throughout class, the two would share glances and smiles, both eager to be alone once the class ended. With 10 minutes left of class, Ali couldn’t take anymore waiting and decided to end early.

“Have a great weekend, everyone. I’ll see you all on Tuesday.” Ali looked over at Ashlyn, who eyes were now dark with desire. After the class was empty, Ashlyn walked right up to Ali and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Let’s get out of here.” Ashlyn said with her lips just centimeters from Ali’s ear and her hand resting on Ali’s hip. She stepped back and waited for Ali to lead the way to her office.

\-------------------------------------------------

As Ashlyn followed Ali to her office, she couldn’t help but watch how her body moved in that dress. Her original plan of talking to Ali about not coming to the game the next day had completely gone out the window. Once she walked into the classroom and saw Ali in that dress, she knew she couldn’t control herself any longer. She needed Ali, and she needed her now.

They reached the building that Ali’s office was in and enter the elevator. They each stood on opposite sides, but the lust in both of their eyes made it almost impossible to keep the distance. Ashlyn took a deep breath before realizing she couldn’t wait another second to feel Ali’s body against her own.

“Fuck it.” She said, and closed the gap between them before pushing Ali up against the wall of the elevator. “Tell me I can kiss you, because I don’t think I can be near you if I can’t.” Ali reached up and put her hands around the back of Ashlyn’s neck, pulling her in as her answer. Their lips met for a moment before the elevator sounded to let them know they reached Ali’s floor. Ashlyn stepped back but watched the rise and fall of Ali’s chest as they both tried to resist temptation.

Ali slid a finger through one of Ashlyn’s belt loops and pulled her out of the elevator and down the hall. By the time they reached Ali’s office there was so much tension in the air and they both needed contact immediately. Ali turned to lock the door and before she could even fully turn back around, Ashlyn turned her the rest of the way and slammed her against the door. Their lips crashed together and all the tension they were feeling was released. Ashlyn ran her hands down over Ali’s ass and to the back of her thighs before lifting her up. Ali instinctively wrapped her legs around Ashlyn’s waist, forgetting she was wearing a dress, which was now pushed up around her upper thighs. Ashlyn began leaving kisses across Ali’s jaw line and stopped at her neck for a moment. She left lingering kisses on Ali’s neck and carefully bit her a couple times while running her hands along her thighs slowly. Ali let out a soft moan, which only motivated Ashlyn to work harder to force more sound from the brunettes lips.

“Ash…” Ali moaned in the blonde’s ear. She couldn’t take anymore. She brought her legs down and pushed Ashlyn back against her desk and began unbuttoning her shirt. “Too…many…buttons…” Ali said, kissing Ashlyn in between each word. With that, Ashlyn ripped open her own shirt, sending buttons flying in every direction. Ali smirked at Ashlyn’s need to please and pushed the shirt off her shoulders. Ali leaned in and left a trail of kisses along Ashlyn’s collarbone. In response to this, Ashlyn brought her hands to Ali’s hips and squeezed while letting out a quiet moan. Ali pushed Ashlyn up onto the desk and stepped back, just out of reach. Ashlyn reached out to grab Ali, who stepped back once more and shook her head at Ashlyn with a devilish grin.

“Don’t move.” Ali demanded. She slowly reached up and pushed her own dress off her shoulders. Without breaking eye contact, she slid herself out of the dress and watched Ashlyn’s eyes follow it to the floor. Ali stood there in front of Ashlyn in just her bra and thong.

Ashlyn shifted on the desk and restrained from reaching out to touch an almost naked Ali. She knew that if Ali didn’t step back into Ashlyn’s embrace that she might lose her mind. Luckily, Ali stepped back in between Ashlyn’s legs, but when Ashlyn reached to touch Ali’s abs, Ali grabbed her wrists and put them behind her back.

“Babe,” Ashlyn moaned, “quite teasing me.” Ashlyn was completely unaware of the fact that she had just called her professor babe in the heat of the moment, until she saw the look of surprise on Ali’s face. “Oh, shit, sorry…” Ashlyn looked down. Ali lifted Ashlyn’s chin up and kissed her hard before leaning in with her lips against Ashlyn’s ear.

“That’s okay. I liked it. I like you.” The admission shocked them both, but nothing was going to stop them now. In one swift movement, Ashlyn got off the desk and slid Ali onto it in her spot. Their lips met again, only this time there was so much need behind the kiss, neither were willing to break apart. Ali reached down and worked to undo Ashlyn’s pants. Within seconds they were off and on the floor. Ali wrapped her legs around Ashlyn’s waist again, this time adding pressure to both their cores. They moaned loudly into each other’s lips, which only intensified the kiss.

Before Ashlyn could move things along, she needed Ali to tell her it was okay. “Ali, tell me what you want.” Pleaded Ashlyn against Ali’s lips. Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and her legs tighter around her waist, adding pressure where she needed it most.

“I need you to fuck me.” Ali begged, and that’s all Ashlyn needed to hear before she kissed her way down Ali’s chest. She removed Ali’s bra and spent a few moments licking and sucking on her breasts. Ashlyn looked up at Ali while she continued to kiss down to her hips. Using her teeth, Ashlyn pulled off Ali’s thong while she lifted her hips up, sending chills through her core. Ashlyn situated herself on her knees in front of Ali and, without breaking eye contact, she leaned in to Ali’s center. Ashlyn flicked her tongue up and down against Ali’s clit, speeding up every time she heard Ali moan. Ali ran her fingers through Ashlyn’s hair and pulled while she arched her entire body in response to the blondes tongue. Ashlyn lowered her head and slowly used her tongue to enter inside the brunette’s core.

“Holy shit.” Ali moaned. She was so close to the edge and just wanted Ashlyn’s lips against her own. She pulled Ashlyn up and she knew just what Ali wanted. Ashlyn brought her hand over to where her mouth just was and slowly slid one finger inside. Ali pulled Ashlyn’s body close, wrapped her arms and legs around her and let herself melt into Ashlyn’s touch. All the tension and all the build up boiled down to this exact moment, and neither of them wanted it to end.

While kissing and sucking on Ali’s neck, Ashlyn slid a second finger inside her and curled her fingers up to finish her off. Ali held onto Ashlyn tight, while Ashlyn wrapped her up with her other arm. Ashlyn slid her fingers in and out faster each time until Ali was practically screaming her name.

“Ashlyn, don’t stop. I’m almost there.” She begged, and Ashlyn obeyed. With in a few seconds, Ali was shaking against Ashlyn’s body. Ashlyn kept on fucking her so she could ride the orgasm as long as possible. Once she was finished, Ashlyn pulled her fingers out of Ali and smiled at the exhausted look on her face. Before Ashlyn could clean her fingers off, Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and slid her mouth around both her fingers.

“You’re so fucking hot, Ali.” Ali pulled Ashlyn into another heated kiss before sliding her own hand down Ashlyn’s body and into her boy shorts. Ashlyn gasped at the contact and felt her knees start to buckle.

“I think it’s my turn to return the favor, don’t you?” Ashlyn simply nodded, unable to speak with Ali’s fingers rubbing her clit. They quickly switched positions and Ali found herself in the same place Ashlyn was just a few moments before. All the moans and gasps coming from Ashlyn only fueled Ali’s desire to please the blonde who had just given her the best orgasm of her whole life.

“A – Ali. I’m gonna…” Ashlyn couldn’t even finish before Ali pushed her over the edge and kissed her way up Ashlyn’s body to kiss her on her lips. “Holy hell, that was amazing. You’re amazing.” Ashlyn was in shock, her body was shaking against Ali’s, but Ali just held her tight while she came down from her high. Ali pulled back and kissed Ashlyn on the lips once more before starting her search for her clothes.

“Ali…” Ashlyn started. She stepped over to Ali and slid her arms around her waist. Their eyes met again and Ashlyn continued. “I think I really like you, and that terrifies me.” Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and smiled.

“Well I already told you I like you.” Ali admitted again.

“You meant that? I thought maybe you didn’t realize what you had said.”

“No, I meant it, Ash. I really want to get to know you.” Ali kissed Ashlyn lightly.

“Well good, because I want to get to know you. We should, uh, go on a date this weekend.” Ashlyn suggested, hoping for the answer she wanted.

“I would love that.” They kissed again and once their lips parted, Ashlyn leaned her forehead against Ali’s and they both smiled while thinking about where this whole thing was going, and how happy they both were in that moment, together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am so sorry for this being delayed. I have been working a lot and haven't had much time to write. This chapter is more of a transition chapter to get moving. Even still, I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you for the feedback and expect more tomorrow!

Ashlyn watched as Ali pulled on her dress, completely mesmerized by this beautiful woman standing in front of her.

“You know, I initially wanted to see you to tell you not to come to the game tomorrow.” Ashlyn admitted while pulling on her clothes. Ali looked at her immediately with a look mixed with confusion and sadness all at once.

“Why? I really wanted to see you play…” Ali trailed off. She stepped closer to the blonde and put her hands on her hips.

“Oh no, babe. I want you there. Well, now I do anyway. I was just so nervous to have you in the stands, but now that this,” Ashlyn pointed back and forth between them, “is happening, I’m a little less nervous. I just want to impress you.” Ashlyn smiled down at Ali and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, but you’ve already impressed me.” Ali said, with a wink. She leaned in and kissed Ashlyn hard, reassuring Ashlyn that she definitely satisfied her.

“Good, but I mean between the goal posts, ya know?” Ashlyn chuckled. “Listen, I have to go meet with my friends for lunch. Don’t worry, I won’t tell them anything. If I leave you my number, will you text me?” Ashlyn went out on a limb, but the thought of not talking to Ali until the next day just didn’t sit well with her.

“Yes, of course. I’ll text you when I’m done with my classes for the day.” Ali kissed Ashlyn one last time before she walked toward the door.

“See you tomorrow, teach.” Ashlyn winked, closing the door behind her.

After Ashlyn left Ali’s office, she made her way to the dinning hall to meet her best friends for lunch. She couldn’t stop smiling for even a second, and she knew it would be difficult to hide this giddiness from her friends. Not only would she have to come up with an explanation for that, but she was also 15 minutes late for their usual meeting time. She wasn’t surprised to see they had already gone inside and started eating. She was grateful for a few more minutes to compose herself before heading into the lion’s den.

“Hey, Ash!” Kelley waved Ashlyn over, looking skeptical already. “How was Dr. Gorgeous?” Ashlyn looked at Kelley with wide eyes as she felt her mouth go dry.

“W – What?” Ashlyn asked. She was confused how Kelley could have possibly known what had just transpired moments before in Ali’s office.

“Didn’t you go meet with Ali to talk to her about not coming to the game tomorrow? That’s why you’re late, right?” Kelley explained. Ashlyn immediately relaxed. She had forgotten that was the initial plan that her and Kelley discussed at practice.

“Wait, why don’t you want Ali at the game anymore?” Tobin asked, always the last to know anything this their group.

“Who’s Ali?” Asked Alex. Ashlyn didn’t even notice her come and sit down next to Tobin until that moment. Ashlyn shot Tobin a look, as if to tell her to keep her mouth shut.

“Nothing, no one.” Tobin leaned over to whisper something in Alex’s ear, but Ashlyn didn’t care at this point. Ali didn’t mention keeping everything a secret, although it kind of went without saying, but Ashlyn knew she couldn’t keep anything from her friends.

“I’ll tell you guys later, but Ali is still going to come to the game. I think I got the nerves out of my system.” Ashlyn admitted with a smirk. All the tension between the two was released the moment they kissed and now Ashlyn was just excited to impress Ali at the game.

“Good! I sure hope so.” Kelley said, still looking skeptical of the goalkeeper.

“Don’t worry, Kelley. Ashlyn’s got this.” Tobin reached over for a high five and Ashlyn did the same.

“I’m so confused.” Alex said with a pout. Tobin laughed and put her arm around the girl.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in later, if that’s okay with Ash.” Tobin looked to Ashlyn for confirmation.

“Not just yet, but maybe soon.” Ashlyn smiled at the two. She thought they looked cute together, but with that thought came sadness at the fact that her and Ali may never got to be like that in front of Ashlyn’s friends.

Kelley saw the shift in Ashlyn’s mood and elbowed her arm. “Everything okay, Ash? I’m here if you need to talk, you know that.”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. We’ll talk later.” Ashlyn gave Kelley a smile so she wouldn’t question her further. Kelley smiled back and continued eating.

“Are you acting weird because we play Laura tomorrow?” Tobin asked. Ashlyn knew it was an innocent question; she knew Tobin was just concerned about Ashlyn’s behavior, but that didn’t change the fact that the question made her remember that her (sort of) ex-girlfriend was on the team they were playing the next night. Laura and Ashlyn never dated, officially, but things got serious for a little while. Ashlyn realized Laura wanted something more, something Ashlyn couldn’t give here, so she ended it.

“Shit, Tobin. Why did you need to remind me of that? I was content being my usually oblivious self, thank you very much.” Ashlyn was exhausted. In the last hour she had felt so many ups and downs in her emotions, it was becoming overwhelming. She knew she needed to get out of that dinning hall before she lost it.

“I’m sorry, dude. I figured you were aware of that.” Tobin apologized.

“It’s fine. I’ve got to go. Coach got me out of my last class today for extra practice. I’ll see you guys at practice. Don’t be late.” Ashlyn grabbed her tray of barely touched food and walked over to the trash to throw it away. She was happy to get out and hit the field for some practice to get away from all the questions and concerns thrown her way. _Pull it together,_ she told herself. _You’ve got this under control. Breathe._ Ashlyn made her way to the locker room and got ready for practice. She found her mind wandering back to Ali, a common occurrence recently, but this time it made her calm and tranquil, something she desperately needed. She let her mind settle and in that moment she knew she could take on the world.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Ali sat at her desk, attempting to concentrate on her work, but it was no use. She could still feel Ashlyn’s touch linger on her body; she could still taste her on her lips. She couldn’t get her mind off of Ashlyn, not even for a second, and it didn’t help that they had been texting all afternoon since Ali’s classes ended. They talked about how the rest of their day went and even started sharing random facts about themselves. Ali was beyond excited to get to know Ashlyn, but she knew there were so many questions that still needed to be answered.

  **Ali:** I know this is all happening kind of fast, but would you like to come over to my house after the game tomorrow night?

After a few minutes, Ali felt dumb for asking and realized Ashlyn probably had plans since it was the first game of the season. _Stupid,_ she told herself.

**Ali:** You probably have plans already, I’m sure. We can just do it another time.

**Ali:** I mean, talk. Not do it.

**Ali:** Sorry. I guess you just make me nervous. Sorry for blowing up your phone.

A few minutes later, Ashlyn finally answered the rambling professor.

**Ashlyn:** Al, I would love to come over after the game. There is nothing I would rather do. We can get pizza and just talk everything through. Sound good?

**Ali:** Sounds perfect, Ash. Thank you.

**Ashlyn:** I’ve got to go. I’ll text you after practice.

Ali kept re-reading their conversation over and over again and was feeling embarrassed by her behavior. She was always the calm, cool, collected one during this kind of thing. She had no idea what was going on. All she knew was that Ashlyn terrified her in the best way possible.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! I'm going to try and get another one up tonight, but most definitely tomorrow! Thank you guys again for all the support!

Ashlyn woke up the next morning feeling excited and nervous all at once. She couldn’t wait to hit the pitch, but she was also feeling uneasy about seeing Laura again. Ever since Tobin brought it up the day before, Ashlyn had been over thinking every possible scenario that could play out during the game, or after the game. Knowing Ali would be in the stands, she was hoping Laura wouldn’t do something stupid. The last thing Ashlyn wanted to do was make Ali jealous, or scare her away. She debated texting Laura to tell her not do try anything, but she didn’t want to give the striker the wrong idea. Ashlyn decided to suck it up and deal with whatever happened. She felt good about where things were going with Ali and just hoped Ali did too. Just as she was getting dressed for class, she heard her phone go off and smiled when she saw the name pop up.

 **Ali:** Hey! I just wanted to tell you that I can’t wait to see you play tonight! But I’m even more excited to spend time with you after…

 **Ashlyn:** Hey, I don’t need any more distractions from you. Yesterday was enough to keep my mind occupied for days.

 **Ali:** Days? That’s it? Hmm, I’ll just have to do something about that later. Well, I’ll see you tonight. Good luck, gorgeous ;)

 **Ashlyn:** Damn you, Ali haha I’ll see you later, babe.

Ashlyn could not wipe the smile off her face even if she tried, and she definitely didn’t want to. She finished getting dressed and walked to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Gooooood morning!” Ashlyn yelled, not caring if her roommates were still sleeping. A few minutes later, Tobin and Kelley walked into the kitchen rubbing the sleep from their eyes and glaring at Ashlyn for their rude awakening.

“Come on, you two. I’m making breakfast. Eggs, bacon, and pancakes.” Ashlyn smiled while starting to make the pancake mix.

“Well now I am way less pissed at you.” Tobin chucked while taking a seat at their counter.

“Nope, I’m still pissed. I was having a great dream.” Kelley went to the fridge and grabbed the apple juice and poured each of them a glass.

“Oh, stop it. You love when I cook breakfast.” Ashlyn tapped Kelley on the ass before reaching around her to get the eggs from the fridge.

“Why are you always so happy in the morning? It’s disgusting.” Kelley stuck her tongue out at Ashlyn and they both laughed.

“I’m pumped for the game today!” Ashlyn was beaming from her confidence. Getting through the day was going to feel like torture, but she was hopeful that it would go by quickly.

“You’re just pumped for Ali to see you play and realize how hot you are in between those goal posts” Tobin winked at Ashlyn, who was now smiling from ear to ear.

“Or realize how hot you’d be between her legs.” Kelley elbowed Tobin and they both laughed. Ashlyn kept on smiling and laughing with them, but her mind was wandering now. _Little do you know, Kelley,_ Ashlyn thought and smirked to herself about the time she and Ali spent together in her office.

The trio finished eating, cleaned up, and went out to Ashlyn’s Jeep to get to class. Ashlyn knew the day was going to be difficult to get through, but her anticipation for what could happen after the game kept her floating on cloud 9.

\--------------------------------------------------

By the end of the day, Ali was barely able to contain herself. Normally, she would go back to her office to do some work once her classes for the day were over, but today she knew there was no way she could be productive. She grabbed her bag and went to lock up her office when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and met the eyes of one attractive goalkeeper.

“Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you.” Ali smiled and pulled Ashlyn into a hug. The blonde wrapped her arms around Ali’s waist and pulled her in close. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just wanted to see you before practice. I missed you.” Ashlyn leaned in to kiss Ali, but Ali stopped her with her hand on her chest.

“Not out here.” Ali turned around and unlocked her office door before pulling Ashlyn in by her shirt. As soon as the door shut behind them, their lips met with such force that it nearly knocked Ali over. Ashlyn lifted her up onto her desk and ran her hands up and down Ali’s thighs while they kissed and fought for control. After some time, Ashlyn stepped back and took a deep breath.

“If we don’t stop now, I’ll never make it to practice.” The look Ashlyn was giving Ali at this point made her shudder. Ali reached out and pulled Ashlyn back in between her legs by her belt. She leaned in and kissed Ashlyn’s neck and drew circles in the same spot with her tongue. She felt Ashlyn’s body melt into her arms; a feeling that only made Ali hungry for more.

“I wouldn’t want you to miss practice. You better get going.” Ali said, seductively, with her lips brushing against Ashlyn’s ear. Ali felt Ashlyn shudder against her.

“I really have to go. Can we please continue this tonight?” Ashlyn said turning her next, unconsciously, giving Ali more room to work. She continued to suck on Ashlyn’s neck before pulling back and bringing their lips together for a deep kiss.

“I don’t know if I can wait. I want you now, Ashlyn.” Ali moaned against Ashlyn’s lips. Ashlyn sighed in response and took a huge step back away from the brunette, who was practically throwing herself at Ashlyn. Ali frowned, but knew Ashlyn wasn’t rejecting her. She would just have to wait until later to have her way with the goalkeeper. “Fine, but just for that you get nothing from me tonight.” Ali smirked, knowing she was lying, but Ashlyn didn’t know that. Her eyes shot open and Ali laughed at her reaction.

“You are such a tease. Now how am I supposed to concentrate at the game?” Ashlyn stepped back into Ali’s embrace and hugged her with purpose. Ali nuzzled into Ashlyn’s neck and took a deep breath, taking in Ashlyn’s scent. Ali smiled into her neck and pecked once before pulling away to look into her eyes.

“You’re going to be amazing. I can’t wait to watch you kick ass.” Ali kissed Ashlyn once more.

“Thanks, babe. I’m playing for you tonight.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali, who was now thankful to be sitting down, seeing as her knees would have given out by now.

“You’re the sweetest. Now get out of here. You need all the practice you can get.” Ali winked and playfully shoved Ashlyn.

“Hey, now. Don’t be rude. I’ll see you after the game. I’ll call you when I can get away from my friends.” Ashlyn took Ali’s face in her hands and kissed her hard. “That was for good luck.”

“You’re such a dork. Good luck, babe.” Ali slapped Ashlyn’s ass before she walked out of her office. Ali smiled to herself, fully aware of the fact that she was in too deep now, but at the same time, she was totally okay with it. Ali gathered her things again, locked her door, and walked out of the building to the parking garage to head home. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! I'm writing the next one now, so hopefully that will be up before I have to go to work. Thanks, again! Enjoy!

Everyone in the crowd was on their feet watching the clock reach that 90 minute mark. The score was 1-0, UNC with the lead, and Ashlyn was desperately trying to hold onto that clean sheet. Her confidence grew with each save and she was feeling good about her performance and the team in general. Kelley scored the goal in the 65th minute and ran the entire length of the field to celebrate with Ashlyn, who was more than happy to meet her half way with a bear hug that knocked them to the ground. Once the team got to their feet and Ashlyn jogged her way back to her line, she looked up and searched for Ali. She finally saw her and shot her a smile. Ali smiled back, sending a shock through Ashlyn’s entire body. _I could get used to that smile_.

With 3 minutes left, Ashlyn refused to let her guard down. She knew better than to celebrate too early, because she had seen it happen too many times before. Ashlyn tracked the ball and saw that Laura had it at her feet. She was dribbling right toward Ashlyn with a smirk on her face, but Ashlyn just stared at the ball and ignored the girl. Laura passed to another player who sent a one touch back to Laura who was now inside the box. Ashlyn got ready to take her on, one on one. She knew Laura’s techniques and knew it was better to hold back instead of charge her like she wanted to do. Laura stepped down hard next to the ball and took her shot, chipping it up toward the left corner of the goal. Ashlyn dove, fully extending her body and made contact with the ball. Ashlyn went down hard, but watched as the ball went out of bounds behind her. The entire stadium cheered and chanted for the goalkeeper. Tobin came over to help Ashlyn up, asking if she was okay. Ashlyn nodded and got ready for the corner. Laura was right on Ashlyn, waiting for the ball to be sent her way. Ashlyn knew Laura was decent with her headers, so she was ready for the ball to come her way. The corner was taken, and just like Ashlyn expected, it was sent straight to the striker. Ashlyn jumped higher than she had ever jumped before and snatched the ball from the air before anyone could even get to it. Again, the crowd cheered for the goalkeeper.

Ashlyn was on fire, everyone knew it, and so did Ashlyn. She knew the clock was nearing the end and she just had to hold on a few seconds more. She sent a ball out to her right back, who took it nearly the full length of the field. Ashlyn could breathe now, knowing the ball wasn’t on her side anymore. The ball was crossed right to the feet of Tobin, who simply took a leap of faith and volleyed the ball into the back of the other teams net. The crowd erupted into a cheer for UNC, and Ashlyn jumped for joy. She couldn’t believe that in those final seconds they could score a second goal, pretty much guaranteeing the win.

The teams set up on the line again, but the referee only allowed one pass from the other team before blowing his whistle. UNC ran full speed to their superstar goalkeeper and Ashlyn ran to meet them. They all embraced Ashlyn and jumped up and down around her. Ashlyn found Tobin and Kelley in the crowd and the trio hugged each other tight. This was their moment and nothing was going to ruin it.

After some celebrating and rejoicing, the teams lined up and shook hands with each other. At the end of the line was Laura, who was eyeing Ashlyn the entire time. Once the teams dispersed, Ashlyn looked up and waved to Ali. She could see the look of pride take over Ali’s smile and that only made the win more special for Ashlyn; she wanted to impress the brunette, and she did just that. Before Ashlyn could even reach, someone threw their arms around her neck and hugged her tight. Ashlyn hugged back before pulling away and making eye contact with Laura.

“You were amazing out there, Ash. Seriously, you had no business making some of those saves. I’m really proud of you, and honestly not even upset about losing to you, ‘cause you’re the best.” Laura smiled at Ashlyn. Ashlyn took a step back and broke their embrace. Laura looked confused, but didn’t push the blonde.

“Thanks, Laura. That’s nice of you to say.” Ashlyn looked down at her gloves and started to take them off.

“Here, let me help.” Laura took her hands and started undoing the velcro on Ashlyn’s gloves. Ashlyn watched as she worked to get the gloves off, forgetting that Ali was probably watching this transaction take place. Ashlyn pulled her hands away and pulled off her own gloves.

“I’ve got it. Thanks.” She said, sharply this time. She decided not to make eye contact with Laura, but she knew the face she was likely making.

“Ash, we haven’t talked since…” she trailed off, but the memory came back to Ashlyn full force. The night things ended between the two was rough on them both. There was yelling and there were tears, but Ashlyn did what felt best, and she didn’t regret it for a second. “Can we just talk? We can go get dinner, or have drinks somewhere. I just miss you.” Laura pulled Ashlyn’s head up by her chin and looked deep into her eyes. Ashlyn took Laura’s hand and pulled it off her face.

“No. I have plans. Look, it sucks things didn’t work out between us, but nothing is going to change that. We don’t need to keep rehashing this every time we play against each other, Laura.” Ashlyn looked around Laura and saw Kelley making faces behind her. Ashlyn laughed before continuing. “I’ve got to go celebrate. I hope you have a great season. You were strong out there tonight. I wish you the best of luck.” And with that, Ashlyn brushed passed Laura and embraced her best friend. Once she put Kelley down, she could see the look of concern on her face.

“Everything is fine, Kels. I’m good. I’m more than good.” Ashlyn smiled, took Kelley’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead. Finally, Ashlyn remembered that her night wasn’t over yet; it was only just beginning. “Let’s get some pizza and head home, yeah?”

“Yes, please! By the way, I saw Dr. Dreamy in the stands with that girl from the ice cream place. She didn’t seem to take her eyes off you the entire game.” Kelley winked and started walking to the locker room. Ashlyn looked up in the stands and couldn’t find Ali anymore. She figured she had probably left and would just text her once she changed. With everything that happened in those final minutes of the game, Ashlyn’s mind was reeling. She was feeling amazing, and knew her night would only get better.

\--------------------------------------------------

After watching Ashlyn make those final saves, which allowed the team enough time to score again, Ali was more than ready to have the goalkeeper to herself to tell her how proud she was of her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of Ashlyn the entire game, except of course to see the goalkeeper’s two best friends score. Ali knew this trio was destined for amazing things in their future, and she found herself daydreaming about what it would be like to be there to see it happen.

“Earth to Krieger. Are you even paying attention? And I mean to the game, not just that hot goalkeeper.” Pinoe laughed as she watched Ali come back down to earth.

“Pinoe, I’m in trouble. I think I’m falling for her.” Ali reached up and rubbed at the back of her own neck, realizing that was the first time she had even admitted that to herself.

“Wow, you’re just figuring that out? I could have told you that, babe.” Pinoe put her arm around Ali to comfort her.

“No, I’m serious. Look at her; she’s amazing, smart, funny, and talented. But she’s also a student. What am I doing?” Ali started freaking out, but before she could bury herself with all those ideas, Ashlyn looked up and found her in the crowd. They smiled at each other and Ali felt calm again.

“That’s what you’re doing. You’re falling for someone who is falling for you, and it doesn’t get much better than that.” Pinoe reassured Ali. Ali took a deep breath and watched the team tackle Ashlyn to the ground after the final whistle blew. She laughed at the group of girls, clearly proud of their goalkeeper. Ali followed Ashlyn with her eyes and watched as a beautiful girl from the other team threw her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. Ali grimaced at their contact, which of course, Pinoe noticed instantly.

“Oh, relax. Their probably just friends.” They both watched as the girl tried to help Ashlyn with her gloves. “See? Just friends.” Pinoe nudged Ali with her elbow, but Ali didn’t budge. She watched as the other girl put her hand under Ashlyn’s chin and take a step closer to the keeper. Ali’s insides tightened, and before she could see anymore, she got up and turned to Pinoe.

“Let’s get out of here.” Ali started walking down the bleachers and to the parking lot.

“Ali, wait. I’m sure that was nothing. Don’t shut the girl out just yet.” Pinoe caught up with Ali and put her arm around her shoulders.

“Oh I won’t. She will definitely have some explaining to do though.” And with that, Ali drove Pinoe home, and then made her way home. She knew it would be a little while before she heard from Ashlyn, but she was absolutely going to get the answers to all her questions tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;) feedback is always welcome! Thanks again for the support.

Ashlyn was on top of the world. It was announced that she was the player of the match and everyone kept hugging her and congratulating her. Tobin and Kelley kept hugging Ashlyn and each other. No one could believe that this was really happening, and it only made the excitement and anticipation for the season ahead that much stronger. Ashlyn took out her phone and was sad to see Ali hadn’t text her yet, but she just figured Ali was waiting on her text first.

 **Ashlyn:** Hey! Crazy game, huh? :) I hope you and Megan had a good time. I can’t wait to see you later.

Ashlyn put her phone in her pocket, grabbed her things and headed out to her car with her best friends.

“So, pizza and then maybe we’ll hit up a couple parties on campus?” Kelley asked. Ashlyn quickly thought of a way to get out of those plans, but nothing seemed like her best friends would believe her anyway.

“Um, I don’t know. I’m really tired. I’m down for pizza, but then I think I’m just going to go to bed. You guys should go out still!” Ashlyn said, hopefully convincingly.

“Fine.” Kelley groaned. “We’ll just have fun without you, but all the girls are going to be asking for you.” Kelley chuckled; Ashlyn laughed in response and suddenly realized her phone was buzzing. She took it out and smiled at Ali’s name.

 **Ali:** You were amazing tonight. If you want to hang out another time, that’s okay. You probably want to celebrate with your friends.

 **Ashlyn:** I want to celebrate with you, and only you ;)

 **Ali:** Slow your roll there, superstar. No one said you were getting that lucky tonight.

 **Ashlyn:** Ha! You got jokes. I’m getting pizza with some of the girls now and then I’m coming over. I’ll bring you some slices in exchange for your address.

 **Ali:** Fine, but only because I want that pizza, not you.

 **Ashlyn:** Right… I totally believe you. See you soon, beautiful.

The trio and a few friends from the team went into their favorite pizza place to celebrate their amazing win. Ashlyn sat in between Kelley and Tobin, and they constantly reminded each other that they had just won, as if the result of the game was finally setting in. On Ashlyn’s right, Tobin and Alex were making eyes at each other and flirting nonstop. On her left, Kelley was telling jokes and being her usual childish self with the girls on the team. In that moment, Ashlyn felt invincible, like nothing could stop this final year at UNC from being the best year she’s ever had. She told herself that it had little to do with Ali, but she knew better than to believe that. She was falling for her professor, hard and fast, which would normally make her want to run away, but this time something felt different; whatever was going on between her and Ali felt real.

Ashlyn finished her slice and told the girls she was heading home, and to enjoy their night of celebration. She practically ran to her jeep and sped off to Ali’s house. She pulled in to Ali’s driveway a few minutes later, put her car in park, and took a long, deep breath. _This is it. You’re going to let your guard down, share your feelings, and tell Ali you’re all in._ Ashlyn pumped herself up for the conversation she was about to have with Ali. She looked over at the house and noticed Ali waiting at the front door. A smile instantly took over her face, and she noticed the same happen to Ali. She walked up to the front door and was greeted with a huge hug from the brunette. Ashlyn lifted her up to let Ali wrap her legs around her waist, which she did.

“You’re amazing, Ash. I’m so proud of you.” Ali leaned back with her arms still around Ashlyn’s neck and kissed her, hard. The kiss sent a shock through Ashlyn’s entire body, all the way down to her toes. She smiled into Ali’s lips, and Ali smiled back. She pulled back again and looked into Ashlyn’s eyes. Ashlyn watched as something changed and Ali got off of her to walk into the house.

“Wait, where are you going? I was not done kissing you.” Ashlyn walked into the house and put her arms around her waist from behind. She left a trail of kisses along Ali’s neck before she could push Ashlyn away again.

“I have some questions for you first.” Ali looked almost mad, with her hand against Ashlyn’s chest, keeping her a safe distance away.

“Okay, shoot.” Ashlyn stopped back and gave Ali some space.

“I saw that girl hug you after the game, and I’m not jealous, or whatever, but it just looked like there was more than a friendship going on there.” Ali stopped and looked down at her feet. Ashlyn stepped closer again and took Ali’s face in her hands to bring it parallel to her own.

“Yes, at one point there was something between her and I, but not anymore. We broke up 6 months ago, but I guess she just isn’t over it yet. We never even officially dated, but regardless, that’s over, I promise.” Ashlyn kissed Ali’s forehead and felt her relax beneath her lips.

“I believe you, it just made me nervous to see you like that with someone.” Ali admitted, and Ashlyn smiled.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Al. I’m in this with you, I’m all in.” Ashlyn watched as Ali’s eyes widened, and for a split second she thought that maybe that was too much, too fast for the professor to hear. Before Ashlyn could fully regret her words, Ali closed the small gap between the two and slammed her lips into Ashlyn’s. The kiss deepened quickly, causing them to stumble around in each other’s arms before finding a wall to gain their stability. Ashlyn pushed her body against Ali’s and lifted her up into her arms. Ali responded by wrapping her legs around Ashlyn’s waist again and Ali let out a small moan at the pressure Ashlyn put between her legs. Ashlyn left openmouthed kisses along Ali’s jaw line and then along Ali’s neck. “Bedroom. Now.” Ashlyn hissed into Ali’s neck. Ashlyn felt Ali shake her head, remove her legs from Ashlyn’s waist and push her back. Ashlyn watched Ali’s chest rise and fall before she could finally speak.

“Ash, do you really mean that you’re all in? Because honestly, this scares me and no one has ever made me feel the way you do. I think I’m falling for you, and I need to know that you are too.” Ali had a look of uncertainty on her face that made Ashlyn almost cringe. She put her hands on Ali’s hips and pulled her close again.

“I meant what I said, Ali. I want to be with you and I want to make this thing work, because I’m falling for you too. Having you there tonight in the stands, cheering me on, gave me strength that I didn’t even know I had. I know we just met, and I know this is happening so quickly, but I can already feel you becoming a part of me, in a huge way. I know it’s going to be difficult, with you being my professor, but I’ll drop your class or something. We will make this work.” Ashlyn smiled at the brunette and kissed her forehead again.

“You’re remarkable, Ash. I don’t want you to drop my class though. I need an excuse to see you.” Ali winked, causing Ashlyn’s knees to practically give out. “We just have to keep this quiet for the time being. If you feel like you can trust Tobin and Kelley, I don’t see why you can’t tell them, but please make sure they don’t spread that information around to whoever they want.”

“I trust those two with my life, so don’t worry about them telling anyone. I just have one question for you.” Ashlyn trailed off and looked down at her feet. Ali lifted her chin back up to meet her gaze and waited expectantly for Ashlyn to finish. “Do you want to be my girlfriend? Because I want to be yours, more than anything.” Ali smiled up at Ashlyn, bigger than she had ever smiled at her before.

“Of course I do.” Ashlyn smiled back at Ali and leaned in to kiss her, but before their lips connected, Ashlyn hear Ali’s stomach growl and remembered she told her she would bring her pizza.

“Oh, the pizza! I’ll be right back.” Ashlyn ran down the front all and out the door to her car, leaving Ali embarrassed, but laughing all the same.

\----------------------------------------------------

They sat at Ali’s kitchen table and talked about anything and everything while they ate their pizza. Ali was overwhelmed with happiness in this moment and wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

“You’re so cute.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali, who was mid bite. She smiled with her mouth full and waved her hand at Ashlyn. “I’m serious. You’re the cutest. I can’t get enough of looking at you, and every time I think I’ve memorized another feature, you show me something new to learn.” Ashlyn reached across the table and took Ali’s hand in her own and intertwined their fingers.

“You make me weak at the knees, Ash. You’re too sweet.” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand and finished her piece of pizza. She started to get up to clear the table when Ashlyn stopped her.

“I’ve got it.” She said while getting up with the plates in hand. Ali watched as she walked to the sink and started cleaning the dishes. There Ashlyn was, cleaning up after their dinner together, and all Ali was thinking about was getting the blondes clothes off. Ashlyn turned around and immediately registered the look of desire in Ali’s eyes. Ali got up and put her one hand around Ashlyn’s neck and the other rested on her chest. She grabbed the zipper on Ashlyn’s sweatshirt and pulled it down slowly, without breaking eye contact. Ali bite her own lip to keep herself contained, but the second Ashlyn saw that their lips collided. The kiss intensified quickly and Ashlyn picked Ali up to make their way up stairs. Ali shook her head without breaking their contact.

“Couch, the bed is too far right now.” Ashlyn laughed against Ali’s lips and turned the corner to the living room, still holding Ali with her hands on her ass. Once they reached the couch, Ashlyn lowered Ali onto it before finally pulling off her own sweatshirt. She found her place on top of Ali and added much needed pressure with her knee between Ali’s legs. Ali arched her back in response and moaned. Ashlyn took that opportunity to place her tongue and mouth against Ali’s neck, eliciting even louder moans from the brunette. “Fuck, Ash.” Ali ran her hands up Ashlyn’s shirt and dug her fingernails into Ashlyn’s sides. Ashlyn groaned with desire against Ali’s neck and practically ripped Ali’s shirt off. Ali countered by pulled Ashlyn’s shirt up and over the blonde’s head. They both looked down at the newly exposed skin and the kiss that followed was even more hungry and full of lust.

Neither wanted to rush, so they stayed that way for a while, with wandering hands and eager lips. Ali decided she wanted to take a tiny bit of control away from Ashlyn, so she rolled over on top of the keeper and straddled her hips while pinning her arms down above her head.

“Hey there.” Ashlyn said, smiling up at Ali.

“Don’t move.” Ali ordered. She let go of Ashlyn’s hands and was surprised when she left them there above her head. “Good.” Ali slowly started kissing down Ashlyn’s neck, to her chest, and then down her stomach. She reached Ashlyn’s hips and bit down hard, causing Ashlyn to buck her hips into Ali. Ali continued to run circles with her tongue all over Ashlyn’s exposed skin while reaching up to take off Ashlyn’s bra. With her help, Ashlyn was now topless underneath the professor. Ali sat up again on Ashlyn’s hips and grinded against Ashlyn’s core. Ali knew she was torturing the poor girl, but she didn’t even care a little bit. She slowly took off her own bra and threw it across the room. Ashlyn finally moved her hands and went to take hold of Ali’s breasts. “I said don’t move, didn’t I?” Ali pinned Ashlyn’s hands back down above her head, but the position she was now in allows Ashlyn to take Ali’s nipple in her mouth. Ali’s breath hitched at the contact and melting into the blonde’s mouth. Ashlyn took Ali’s moment of weakness and changed their position’s again. Once Ashlyn was on top of Ali, she slid her hand into her shorts and started rubbing right where Ali needed it most.

“You’re so wet, baby.” Ashlyn smiled into Ali’s neck and kissed across her jaw until their lips met. Their tongues fought for dominance over the other, but eventually Ali couldn’t keep up, when Ash slowly slid a finger inside her.

“Oh my god.” Ali moaned, unable to form any other sentence at that moment. Ali realized she still had her shorts on, so she reached down and pushed them off her hips to give Ashlyn more room. Ashlyn found her rhythm in between Ali’s legs and kept grinding her hips into Ali to give her hand more power. Ali was rendered speechless at this point; all that was coming out of her mouth were moans and screams just for Ashlyn. Ashlyn was practically holding Ali’s shaking body down against the couch, but nothing was going to stop her now. She kept a steady pace with her hand, while adding another finger and slowly kissed her way down Ali’s body until she found her wet clit in her mouth. Ali let out another loud moan for Ashlyn, letting her know not to stop. Ali brought her hand down and grabbed a fist full of Ashlyn’s hair while pushing her head deeper. Ashlyn used her tongue to push Ali over the edge and kept flicking her tongue against Ali until her body was convulsing uncontrollable.

Ashlyn pulled her fingers out and kissed slowly up Ali’s body. With every kiss Ashlyn left, Ali’s body arched in response, still feeling far too sensitive. Ashlyn’s lips connected with Ali’s and they melting into the other. Ashlyn rolled them both over so Ali was on top of Ashlyn now, and it wasn’t long before Ali was curled up against Ashlyn’s body, about to fall asleep. Ashlyn smiled at the contact and placed a soft kiss against Ali’s forehead. _I could get used to this,_ Ali thought just before she squeezed her arms around Ashlyn’s waist, _I could really get used to this._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an update for you guys! This one kind of jumps around with a couple flashbacks. I want to get the story moving, otherwise it will take me forever to get to the ending I'm looking for. Don't worry though, we are not even close! I hope you are all enjoying this story, it seems like it from the feedback, which I love btw! Enjoy this chapter, I'm hoping I can get another one up today. If not, I will try for tomorrow. Thanks again!

The next three months flew by for Ashlyn. She was doing well in her classes, and even better on the pitch. The team was riding an undefeated streak and she couldn’t be more proud. Beyond these things in her life falling perfectly into place, there was so much going on that she had never expected from her final year at UNC. _Ali_. Everything was just right and Ashlyn had never felt so close to someone else before. It was a feeling that scared her and made her want to run sometimes, but Ali made it so easy to fall in love with her.

After their night together at Ali’s house, Ashlyn woke up with Ali still in her arms. In that moment, Ashlyn couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, or wanting to be anywhere else. She told herself to embrace it and not run from it; and that is just what she did. Later that morning, Ashlyn was home watching TV because Ali had a family get-together. Kelley and Tobin finally came out of hibernation, clearly surprised to see their roommate who hadn’t come home the night before. Ashlyn remembers their reactions to her news vividly.

_“So, you’re dating your professor…” Kelley said, skeptically, of course._

_“Yes, I’m trusting you guys to keep this information to yourself. No one else can know.” Ashlyn plead, hoping they would pick up on the urgency in her voice._

_“Way to go, Ash! We will keep this between us, but I’m going to need details.” Tobin high fived Ashlyn and sat down next to her._

_“Details to what?” The trio looked up and saw Alex in one of Tobin’s t-shirts, clearly just waking up. Ashlyn’s eyes were wide when she looked at Tobin, who was just smiling from ear to ear at the small brunette that had just entered the room. Tobin finally turned to Ashlyn and, without even asking out loud, she could tell Tobin was checking to see if she could at least tell Alex the news they had just learned. Ashlyn nodded, knowing Tobin wouldn’t tell someone who wasn’t trustworthy._

_“I’ll tell you later, Lex. Are you hungry? I was just going to make us breakfast.” Tobin was up now, hugging Alex. The other two burst out laughing._

_“Tobin? Cook breakfast? Are you trying to kill the poor girl?” Kelley spoke through the lulls in her laughter. Ashlyn was laughing uncontrollably, but managed to get up and make her way to the kitchen to make everyone breakfast._

_“Don’t worry. I’ll make the breakfast.” And with that, things were back to normal, as if Ali fit perfectly into Ashlyn’s life._

_\----------------------------------------------------_

On the other side of this relationship, Ali was feeling just as comfortable with Ashlyn. She had fallen head over heels in such a short period of time, but she could tell the feelings were shared and authentic. Nothing in her life at that point could bring a smile to her face as quickly as Ashlyn did. Sure, they fought and argued over silly little things, but no matter what, at the end of the night, they made up and apologized if need be. Ali could tell, just by the way Ashlyn looked at her, that Ashlyn’s feelings were strong. Knowing this might have scared her away at another time in her life, but right now, her feelings were just as strong, maybe even stronger.

About a month into their relationship, Ali realized she was in love with Ashlyn. They had gone out of town for a weekend and stopped at a fair to get some food. They were walking around, hand in hand, when Ashlyn spotted a little boy crying and looking around frantically. Ashlyn, without hesitation, ran over to him and got down on one knee in front of him. Ali remembers, in that moment, realizing her heart was no longer hers, and that Ashlyn was now it’s keeper.

_“Hey little man, you okay? Are you lost?” Ashlyn had her hands wrapped around his shoulders to steady him._

_“Ye-yes. I can’t find my mommy.” He started crying, but Ashlyn scooped him up and took him to one of the many locations around the fair meant for lost children or people. Ali followed behind, but watched intently at the interactions the two shared. Ashlyn was a natural with kids; Ali had seen it a couple times before. But under pressure, in situations like this, Ashlyn performed; it brought out the best in her. For Ali, this characteristic was most intriguing. She often found herself analyzing the blonde, watching her every move, or listening to her every word. She had learned a lot about her in such a short period of time, because Ashlyn was an open book; what you saw was what you got, and Ali found comfort in that._

_While lost in her thoughts, Ali hadn’t even noticed Ashlyn turn around._

_“What are you thinking about, right now?” Ashlyn said, sliding her arms around the brunette’s waist._

_“You.” She spoke, without missing a beat. Ashlyn raised her eyebrows at the honesty and waited for Ali to finish._

_“I was just thinking about how much I love you.” Ali admitted for the first time, but didn’t regret it for even a second._

_“You love me?” Ashlyn smiled and leaned her forehead against Ali’s._

_“Very much so. I hope that’s okay.”_

_“Of course it’s okay. I love you too.” Ashlyn could barely get the words out before she pressed her lips against Ali’s. They stayed like that for a while, taking in the moment for what it truly was: life changing._

_\------------------------------------------------_

On the night of their 3-month anniversary, Ashlyn made them a feast at Ali’s house. Ashlyn knew Ali loved a home cooked meal, and knew she loved it even more when she would cook for her. Everything was perfect, so when Ashlyn brought out her gift for the professor, she felt giddy, but nervous that it could change the course of their night completely.

“I got you something. I hope you like it.” Ashlyn slid a jewelry box across the table till it was just at Ali’s fingertips. Ali looked at Ashlyn with wide, but loving eyes. She slowly opened the box and took out the ring inside. “Don’t freak out, I’m not proposing or anything, I just wanted you to know how much I love you. Look on the inside.” Ashlyn smiled as she watches Ali explore the gift. On the inside, Ashlyn had her initials engraved. She watched Ali run her thumb across the letters, until she saw a tear fall from Ali’s eye and immediately got up and took a knee by Ali’s side. She turned the chair so Ali was facing her and took her face in her hands.

“Baby, what’s wrong? If you don’t like it I can take it back. It was a stupid gift, I’m sorry.” Ashlyn pulled her hands off Ali’s face and started to tear up.

“Oh, god no. I love it. Baby, I love you. I’m just so in love with you.” Ali wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s shoulders and let the blonde lift her off the chair so their bodies could be closer. Ali nuzzled into the crook of Ashlyn’s neck and kissed the spot softly. She pulled back and looked into Ashlyn’s eyes. “I love the ring, Ashlyn. I got you something too.” Ali stepped back and walked over to the closet and pulled out a jewelry box of her own. Ashlyn took the box and opened it quickly, seeing a metal bracelet that was just her style.

“Wow! I love you, Al. This is perfect.” Ashlyn went to put it on when Ali stopped her.

“Look on the inside, silly.” Ali smiled. Ashlyn obeyed and looked on the inside, where Ali had also engraved her own initials. Ashlyn’s eyes were wide when she met Ali’s. Ali chuckled and put her hand on Ashlyn’s cheek. To this day, that contact still sent a shock through Ashlyn’s spine, but she loved it.

“I heard you telling Kelley that you got your initials engraved onto something, I just didn’t know it was a ring. But I wanted to get you something too. I hope that’s okay.” Ali leaned up on her tippy toes to give Ashlyn a kiss.

“You stole my thunder, babe!” Ashlyn laughed. “It’s perfect. I love it and I’ll wear it proudly.” She leaned in and kissed Ali hard, so hard it made her take a step backwards, but Ashlyn’s arms were around Ali’s waist in no time, pulling her back into her embrace. Their kissed deepened quickly, leaving them both breathless, but full of desire. Ashlyn pulled back and looked deep into Ali’s eyes.

“What?” Ali asked, realizing Ashlyn looked to be lost in thought.

“I just want you to know…” She paused, feeling the weight of what she was about to admit. “You’re end game for me, Alexandra Krieger. I see you in my future, a future I was always terrified to look into. You’ve changed me in so many ways and you’ve helped me grow. I feel invincible with you by my side, like I could take on the world; I could crash and burn, but if you’re by my side I know I’ll make it out on top. You keep me on my toes, but you keep me grounded and focused.” Ali interrupted Ashlyn with a kiss, which Ashlyn reciprocated, but then pulled back again. “I’m not finished. I need to say this. You make me happy, I hope you know that, and I hope I make you happy too. You deserve the best and I will live the rest of my life giving you all of me. I need you to know how much I appreciate you and the love you give me. I have flaws and I have shortcomings, but you love me anyway. You never let me believe I am anything less than extraordinary and with you in my arms, I believe that I am.” Ashlyn felt the tears release from where they gathered and Ali reached up to wipe them away with her thumbs. Ali was crying herself, unable to hold it in any longer. She kissed Ashlyn a few times before gathering up the courage to speak.

“Before I met you I was pretty lost. I don’t think I realized just how lost I was until you found me. I came here to start over and find myself, and in the mean time, I’ve gained something so much better, so much more important. Your love for me is something I have only dreamed of or heard of in storied and movies. You make me feel like I am the most beautiful person in the room.”

“That’s because you are the most beautiful person in the room” Ashlyn interrupts, unable to stop herself.

“Oh shush.” Ali chucks. “That feeling you have about being able to take on the world, I feel it too. The future is terrifying for anyone, but there is something about you that makes me eager for what is yet to come. And babe, you’re it for me too. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life. I love you so much.” Ali wrapped her arms tightly around Ashlyn’s neck and pulled her in for a crushing hug.

“I love you, baby.” Ashlyn didn’t want to let go. She knew that even if she did, Ali was there to stay, but nothing was going to pull them apart, not physically or mentally. The world, together, was at their fingertips. Ashlyn knew this, and she knew Ali did too. The semester was more than halfway over, but there was no fear in their commitment to each other. They knew that no matter what would come their way, they were in it together. It was comforting to Ashlyn to feel as if nothing was going to change, but it was dangerous all the same. Their guards were down, and if anything were to happen, they were going to be completely blindsided by it and unprepared. In the back of Ashlyn’s mind, she knew this, but nothing was going to pull her away from Ali, nothing and no one.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's an update for you guys. Hope you enjoy! I have a bunch of days off in a row this week, thankfully, so I'll most likely update regularly. Thank you all so much for the support! Hope you like this one and leave feedback! I love reading the comments.

There was just a few weeks left of the semester and Ashlyn was still on top of the world. Her team was undefeated and showing some serious promise of becoming NCAA champions that year, giving Ashlyn three national titles during her career at UNC. The team had the night off from practice, so Ashlyn and her roommates decided to have a movie night at their place. Ashlyn knew she had been neglecting her best friends with all the time she had been spending with Ali, so she didn’t bother to ask if she could come by and watch with them. Ali was understanding of this, just another thing for Ashlyn to love about her, and she told Ashlyn she was happy to have a night to herself.

The girls argued over what movie to watch, but knew Kelley would always win that argument, somehow.

“You guys are going to love this movie, I’m serious. It’s one of my favorites.” Kelley flashed a smile at her groaning friends and put the movie in to get it started. About ten minutes into the movie, there was a knock at the door. Ashlyn got up, and went to answer it since it seemed as though her two friends didn’t even notice. She opened the door to see Ali with a panicked look on her face, causing Ashlyn’s stomach to immediately drop.

“Ali? Babe, what’s wrong?” Ashlyn stepped outside and closed the door behind her before wrapping Ali up in a hug. Ali put her arms around Ashlyn’s stomach and squeezed as if it was the only thing she could manage to do at that second.

“My mom is sick.” She mumbled into Ashlyn’s chest. “She’s really sick. She has cancer.” Ali started to cry, telling Ashlyn that this was probably the first time she actually spoke those words out loud. She didn’t really know what to say to help Ali, so she just stood their holding her girlfriend. Ali was strong, something that Ashlyn had learned in their relatively short time together. She was resilient and Ashlyn knew she must have gotten that from somewhere. She pulled Ali back so they were face to face. She brushed away her tears with her thumbs as best as she could.

“Alex, I am so sorry. I can’t even fathom what you are feeling right now, but I know your mom is a strong women. I know this because you are just as strong. She will get through this for her family and you will too.” Ashlyn gave Ali an apologetic smile before pressing her lips against Ali’s forehead.

“I just don’t understand why it had to be her. She is a good person. She doesn’t deserve this. I wish I could just take all of this on for her.” Ali blurted out. The idea of Ali being in her mother’s position turned Ashlyn’s body cold. She felt goosebumps develop all along her arms, but composed herself before Ali could notice. “I’m just so scared. I can’t lose her.” Ashlyn pulled Ali back into her chest and let her cry. Ashlyn wasn’t going to let her go, not even for a second. She needed Ali to know that she was there; that she was always going to be there.

“I’ve got you, babe. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” Ashlyn leaned her cheek against Ali’s head and kissed her hair. A moment later, she heard the door open behind her, turned and gave Kelley a look that she knew would concern her, but ultimately shut the door again. Ashlyn figured Ali hadn’t even heard anything over the sound of her own sobs, and she was right. “Do you want to go inside? We can just go to my room and lay down. Or I can bring you back to your place, if you’d like.” Ashlyn ran her hand up and down Ali’s back, still trying to calm the brunette down.

“I want to go home. I want to see my mom.” Ali mumbled again into Ashlyn’s chest. All of a sudden, it was as if a light bulb went off in Ashlyn’s head.

“Okay, let’s go see your mom. Thanksgiving break is coming up; I have to be here for practice Wednesday morning, but after that we could take a road trip home to see your family. It’s not too bad of a drive.” Ashlyn had pulled back again to read Ali’s face, and saw a tiny bit of light come back into her favorite brown eyes.

“Really? I was thinking about going home for that break, but I wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Obviously it is now, but are you sure you want to come? Don’t you have plans?” Ali, now smiling slightly, looked up into Ashlyn’s eyes with such hope, how could Ashlyn say no?

“Of course I want to come. I want to be there for you. Nothing is more important to me than that.” Ashlyn smiled and kissed the tip of Ali’s nose. “Wait, does your family know about me? About us?” Ashlyn realized that she had no idea what the answer to her question was going to be, and this terrified her.

“Yeah, babe! They all know about you. They don’t know that you’re my student though. I kind of told a white lie about that one.” Ali chucked, a sound that finally eased Ashlyn’s nerved. She was okay with a little white lie, because at least she wasn’t hiding her from her family.

“What did you tell them?”

“I just said you were a former student that I ran into again, and we hit it off.” Ali winked and then wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, squeezing her into a hug. “You’re amazing, Ash. Thank you so much for being so understanding all the time.” Ali kissed the spot on Ashlyn’s neck that was closest, but abruptly pulled back. “Hold up. Does your family know about me? What did you tell them?”

“My brother knows, yeah. I just told him we met through mutual friends. I told my grandma, who ended up telling the rest of the family, of course. But everyone is happy for me, that’s all.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali and leaned in to kiss her. Ali met her half way and kissed back hard.

“I guess I’m going to call my brother and tell him Thanksgiving is on! You’re the best, Ashlyn.” Ali took a couple steps away and pulled out her phone to call her brother.

“I’m going to go inside and grab a drink. Do you want something?”

“Yes, water please. I’ll be in in a minute.” Ali pulled the phone up to her ear while Ashlyn opened the door and stepped into the house. Before Ashlyn could barely shut the door behind her, Kelley and Tobin were there with concerned looks on their faces.

“What the hell was that? Why was she crying? What’s wrong?” Kelley asked, of course the one with all the questions, all the time.

“She’s okay, or she will be. Listen, I’m going to have to bail on out beach trip for Thanksgiving break. I’m really sorry to do it, but Ali and I are going to take a trip so she can be with her family. She just found out her mom is sick, so I want to be there with her.” Ashlyn made sure to talk quickly before Ali could come in. She didn’t want her to know that the trip had this trip planned for months because she knew it would just make Ali feel guilty.

“Oh, that’s horrible. Of course, you go do that. Tobin and I will be fine here. Right, Tobs?” Kelley swung her arm around Tobin’s shoulders and squeezed.

“So, you’re going to meet her parents? That’s got to be scary, huh?” Tobin said, ignoring Kelley for now. Ashlyn hadn’t really thought about that part yet, and now it was slowly sinking in.

“Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t even think about it when I told her I would come. I just knew this was something I had to do for Ali. I’d do anything for her.” Ashlyn looked down at her feet and smiled. She had never felt so strongly for another person before, and she knew all of this would only bring them closer.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I know, Kyle. This really sucks. I love you, okay? I will see you so soon, and you can finally stop bugging me to meet Ashlyn.” Ali smiled on the other end of the phone when she heard Kyle gasp.

“Mystery woman is coming!? I can’t wait to meet this girl that has made my sister so happy these last few months, and I can’t wait to see you! It has been way to long.” Kyle said on the other end of the phone. Ali was happy that he was acting his normal cheery self for a moment.

“I know, way too long. I’ll text you later, okay? I love you, Kyle. Try to stay positive, for mom.” Ali felt her stomach tighten when the thought of her mother’s situation came back into her train of thought.

“She’s going to be okay, Al. I know it. She is the strongest woman I know, just before you. I love you too. Talk soon.” Ali hung up, put her phone in her pocket and headed inside, feeling a bit lighter. She walked into the kitchen and saw Ashlyn and her roommates talking. She assumed they had been talking about her, since their eyes fell on her and their conversation stopped.

“Hey, Ali.” Kelley spoke first, giving Ali a remorseful smile.

“Hey, Kelley. Hey, Tobin. It’s good to see you, guys. I’m sorry to take your friend away from you tonight. I know you were having a movie night. Babe, you can go finish it with them. I’ll just go lay down, it’s okay.” Ali looked at Ashlyn, who was making her way over to Ali.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It was a terrible movie anyway. Ash probably wouldn’t even like it.” Tobin laughed, until Kelley turned and elbowed Tobin in the gut, causing her to double over, but still laughing.

“No, but really, she’s all yours.” Kelley shoved Tobin playfully and headed back to the living room, followed by a reluctant Tobin.

Ashlyn was now by Ali’s side, leading Ali toward Ashlyn’s bedroom with her hand on the small of her back. Ashlyn’s touch was gentle, as always, and it comforted Ali. Once in her room, Ashlyn closed the door and turned on a dimmed light. She positioned herself on the bed so that Ali could lie in her favorite spot atop Ashlyn’s chest and in the crook of her neck. Ashlyn pulled the covers over them and wrapped her arms around an already exhausted Ali.

“I love you, Ash.” She pulled back a bit to make eye contact with the blonde. “I don’t know what I would do without you right now. You’re honestly my rock. Thank you.” She pushed up and placed a soft kiss on Ashlyn’s lips.

“Ali, you don’t have to thank me. I would do anything for you. This is a hard time for you and the last thing I want is for you to be worried about me. I will be by your side through all of this, okay? I love you. Now get some sleep.” Ashlyn gave Ali a deep kiss before settling back into her pillow, allowing Ali to snuggle back into her neck. It wasn’t long before the two were fast asleep, dreaming of better, brighter days together.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update for you guys! Hope you enjoy! I'm probably not going to be able to get another chapter up until next week, sorry!! But I'll post as soon as I can. Thank you all again for reading and giving me feedback! Keep it coming!

Ashlyn woke up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving with a mix of emotions. She was excited to take this road trip with Ali, but she was nervous to meet her family, especially after learning her mom was sick. Her girlfriend reassured Ashlyn that that her family would be nothing but warm and accepting of her and their relationship. Ashlyn believed her, or wanted to anyway, but she was still entirely distracted during practice that morning by all the possible scenarios of the holiday ahead running through her mind.

“Ashlyn! Get your head out of the clouds or you’re doing extra conditioning!” Ashlyn’s coach screamed from half field. She immediately snapped out of her trance in time to dive for a ball heading for the back of the net. She missed by a mile, but at least her coach shifted his attention to something else. _Get it together_ , she told herself. She got up and shook off the fresh clippings of grass before taking her position on the line. There would be plenty of time in the car to freak out.

Her teammates set up another set piece and it was only a few seconds before another ball came at Ashlyn. She took a couple steps left before leaping for the ball. She made contact and the ball sailed around the goal. Kelley jogged up to Ashlyn to help her off the ground.

“Nice save, Ash. Lookin’ good; a little distracted, but good. You okay?” Kelley asked with her arm around Ashlyn’s lower back. She was always a bit more touchy feely than the rest of the team, but it was something everyone was used to.

“I’m good, just nervous for later I guess.” Ashlyn palmed the back of her neck and worked the ball out of the net before sending it back to half field.

“Everything is going to be fine. Ali loves you to pieces. The second her family sees how she looks at you, like you hung the damn moon, they will know how perfect for her you are. They’re going to love you.” Kelley always knew how to comfort Ashlyn. She was the kind of person who put it all out there, and Ashlyn appreciated that, especially right now.

“I know you’re right, but I’m still nervous. Plus, Ali’s definitely responsible for the moon. I had nothing to do with that.” Ashlyn laughs, which brings a smile to Kelley’s face instantly. “Thanks, Kels. You always know how to talk me off the cliff. I’ll be texting you during this trip, that’s for sure.” Ashlyn threw her arm around her best friends shoulder and squeezed. They were both too distracted to see their red-faced coach stomping toward them.

“You two. Sprints. NOW” He spoke loudly. It wasn’t even a yell, but the two could tell it came from a dark place and they were in for some serious drills. Ashlyn shot an apologetic smile toward Kelley who just waved her off. This would be hell for Ashlyn, but Kelley had no problem running, that was for sure. _I’m going to be sore later,_ Ashlyn thought, _good thing Ali’s driving._

_\-------------------------------------------------_

“Pinoe, would you relax? I’m not hiding anything from you, I’m just not nervous for this trip at all. I’m anxious because I’m excited, but I know it’s going to be amazing.” Ali was packing her bag for the long weekend while Pinoe practically paced her room and interrogated the brunette.

“This is a huge deal!” Pinoe spoke, animatedly throwing her arms out as far as she could to emphasize how “huge” of a deal this was. “Ash is meeting your family, ya know, the family that doesn’t know she’s a student. This doesn’t scare you?”

“I mean, that part is a bit terrifying, but I know Ashlyn will be careful not to slip up and I know my family is going to adore her. I’ve never been more ready to take this step with anyone than I am with her. I mean, she’s the love of my life. I…” Ali paused for a moment to realize the weight of the words that had just escaped her lips. She looked at Pinoe who was smiling almost creepily in her direction.

“Wow, does Ash know that? Cause I think you should definitely tell her that one. Maybe I should stop freaking out about this and start asking when the wedding is.” Pinoe joked before throwing a pillow at Ali, who was still stunned by her own words.

“I’m officially ignoring you. You are of no help to me.” Ali kept packing, ignoring the butterflies that had erupted in her belly at the simple mention of marrying Ashlyn. _She would look so hot in a suit.._ Ali pushed the thought out of her head as quickly as it came, knowing that should be the furthest idea from her mind, because there was no was Ashlyn was even thinking about that. Ashlyn was still young; mature, but young. Ali was still young too, and she was happy with how things were. _No rush,_ she told herself. She was pulled back to reality when she heard her phone go off. She smiled when she was that it was a text from her favorite person.

 **Ashlyn:** Hey, gorgeous. I’m just hitting the showers now. Wish you were here to clean me off ;) Practice was brutal, I’ll tell you about it soon. I’ll come right over after I’m done here. See you soon, Princess!

Ali couldn’t stop herself from smiling down at her phone. Even a simple text from Ashlyn sent her heart sailing. Even though she was not a bit distracted by the thought of Ashlyn in the shower. She pushed through the image and sent a quick text back.

 **Ali:** I can’t wait to see you, babe! Get that cute butt over here so we can hit the road.

Ali didn’t even notice Pinoe leaning over her shoulder from behind her, reading her text messages with Ashlyn.

“Well, well, well. Aren’t we a little disgustingly cute!” Pinoe feigned throwing up before Ali could even react.

“Oh, shut it! I have to finish getting ready, but enjoy your Thanksgiving with your family. Tell everyone I said hello and that I miss them!” Ali pulled Pinoe in for a tight hug. Even though Pinoe knew just how to push every single one of Ali’s buttons, she was still her best friend and she was grateful for her. “I just want you to know I’m thankful for friendships like yours this holiday.

“Me too. I love you, Kriegy.” Pinoe pulled back and kissed Ali’s cheek before grabbing her jacket to leave. “Have fun!” She winked and was out the door heading to her car.

A short time later, Ali was outside loading up the car when Ashlyn pulled in the driveway next to her.

“Hey, babe!” She threw her arms around Ashlyn’s shoulders as soon as she stepped out of her Jeep. Ashlyn responded by wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist and lifting her off the ground.

“Someone’s excited to see me, huh?” Ashlyn chuckled. “Damn, I missed you.” It had been a couple days since they were able to see each other with school, work, and soccer in the way.

“First of all,” Ali pulled back and Ashlyn set her down on the ground, “I am always excited to see you.” Ali leaned up and kissed Ashlyn lightly. “Second of all, I missed you more.” Ali kissed Ashlyn again and felt the keepers lips curl into a smile beneath hers.

“No way. I definitely missed you more. I had to run extra sprints at practice today because of how much I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Ali’s jaw dropped a bit and she laughed at the thought. She knew how much Ashlyn hated running sprints or conditioning. She always told Ali it was a keeper’s least favorite thing about soccer.

“Well, I’m sure you deserved those sprints!” Ali stepped back, grabbed Ashlyn’s bag from the Jeep and put it in the trunk of her car.

“That’s mean! But probably true.” Ashlyn slid her arms around Ali’s waist from behind and dropped kisses on her neck. Ali leaned back into Ashlyn and closed her eyes, letting herself feel the contact through her entire body. “I really did miss you, Alex. I can’t stand being away from you for even a day, let alone two.” She spoke with her lips still attached to Ali’s skin, causing a shiver to run through Ali’s spine. She reached up and wrapped her fingers around Ashlyn’s neck, pulling her closer to kiss her. Ali turned around to face Ashlyn just before the kiss started to heat up. Ashlyn pushed Ali up against the car and let her hands wander a bit. Ali let out soft moan against Ashlyn’s lips, which she knew would drive Ashlyn wild. Ashlyn took Ali’s bottom lip between her teeth, causing Ali to moan again.

“Ash, you have to stop before there’s no turning back. We have to get on the road.” Ali pushed Ashlyn back a bit with her hands on her chest.

“I’m already passed the point of no return, baby. We have a little time, don’t we?” Ashlyn leaned back in and whispered with her lips against Ali’s ear, “I need you.”

Ali responded with a shiver and a nod, just before Ashlyn picked Ali up, pulling her legs around her waist, and practically ran into the house. Ali had Ashlyn’s earlobe in her mouth and her nails digging into her back before they even stepped foot into the house. Ashlyn slammed the door behind her and dropped them to the floor, right there in the entrance of the house.

“Babe! You can’t even make it to the couch?” Ali’s laugh was short, because Ashlyn was already making her way down Ali’s body to take her pants off. “Oh my god. Not even a little bit of foreplay.” She watched as Ashlyn shook her head and ripped her pants off. The sight of Ashlyn in such a hurry turned Ali on even more. She missed Ashlyn too over the last couple days, but the way Ashlyn was acting showed just how much she missed Ali. Ali kept her eyes on Ashlyn getting in a comfortable position between her thighs. Ashlyn looked up, making eye contact, and Ali could see the intensity in her eyes. Ashlyn smirked, letting Ali know what she was in for. “Holy shit.” Ali exhaled, just as Ashlyn entered her center with her tongue.

“I missed this.” The vibrations from Ashlyn’s words nearly threw Ali over the edge and her hips lifted off the ground at the contact. But it wasn’t long before Ali was coming undone from Ashlyn’s tongue. “Damn, I think that was a record or something.

“Oh, shut up. It’s been a couple days, remember?” Ali took her pants from Ashlyn and slipped them on again. They were both on their feet now, Ali a little less stable than before, but she was feeling good, very good. Ashlyn leaned in and kissed Ali before opening the front door.

“Ready, beautiful?” Ashlyn smiled, exposing the dimple that Ali knew so well.

“I’m ready for anything with you by my side. Thank you again for coming.” Ali leaned up on her tippy toes and kissed Ashlyn once more. “I love you so much.”

“That’s just the orgasm talking.” Ashlyn laughed at her own joke, as usual, but Ali playfully punched her shoulder at the comment. “I’m kidding, babe. I love you too.”

Once in the car, Ashlyn demanded she control the radio, and Ali just accepted it. She knew there was no arguing over the music Ashlyn would select, but she didn’t care. With her hand firmly on Ashlyn’s thigh the majority of the drive, she felt content and secure. Things around her were uncertain, with her mom being sick, but she was more than confident that her relationship with Ashlyn was solid and that there was nothing that could pull them apart.

“I love you, Alex.” Ashlyn said, almost catching her off guard. Ali smiled instantly and took Ashlyn’s hand in her own.

“I love you, Ashlyn. More than anything.” She pulled the keeper’s hand up to her lips and kissed it a couple times before setting it back down on Ashlyn’s thigh. Ali knew the next 4 hours in the car with Ashlyn would feel like nothing. _I guess the saying time flies when you’re having fun is true,_ she thought. But this wasn’t just fun. Ashlyn was everything to Ali; she was her future, and nothing would ever change that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it has been a few days since my last update, but I have the next couple days off so I will do my best to write and get updates out regularly for a little while. I love the feedback and all the love! Thanks for sticking with me! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm also curious to know if anyone has any predictions for this story. Let me know!

“Are we there yet?” Ashlyn asked in a whine for the 8th time, now just doing it to get a rise out of her girlfriend. Ali immediately shot a look through squinting eyes and Ashlyn tipped her head back in a chuckle.

“You’re the worst, ya know that?” Ali laughed too, before squeezing Ashlyn’s thigh where her hand was planted almost the entire car ride. “But yes, we are about 5 minutes away. Are you ready for this?”

“5 minutes!? Oh god, no I am not ready.” Ashlyn pulled down the mirror to check her hair and make sure she looked presentable. She so badly wanted to impress Ali’s family and show them how perfect they were together. She was always great with past girlfriend’s families and they all loved her, but this felt different. Ali was long term, which meant her family was too.

“Relax, love. Just be yourself and there is no reason they won’t adore you as much as I do.” Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and intertwined their fingers, rubbing the back of Ashlyn’s hand, which always comforted her. Ashlyn took a deep breath and nodded. _I can do this,_ she thought; _I just need to be myself._

A couple minutes later they pulled into the driveway of a moderately sized colonial house, white with light blue shutters. There were bright, beautiful flowers along the porch, where Ashlyn could see a younger man swinging on the porch swing with a huge smile on his face. Ali was beaming as soon as she spotted him and waved franticly.

“That’s Kyle!” She informed Ashlyn with a squeal. Before Ashlyn could even respond, Ali was out of the car sprinting toward her brother. Ashlyn laughed at how excited Ali was and followed Ali out of the car and up toward the house.

“Alex! Oh my god!” Kyle was sprinting down the steps to catch Ali mid leap. Ali wrapped her legs around Kyle’s waist and held the embrace as if she thought Kyle would disappear if she let go. Ashlyn walked slowly so she didn’t disturb their reunion, but as soon as Kyle saw the blonde come up behind them his smile was beaming again. “Ashlyn!” He placed his sister down and pulled Ashlyn into a tight bear hug. Ashlyn instantly felt welcomed into their family at this simple gesture. Ali told Ashlyn that her brother was friendly, but his reaction to seeing Ashlyn felt so genuine that Ashlyn couldn’t help be feel at home.

Kyle finally pulled back, but kept his hands wrapped around Ashlyn’s shoulders as he stepped back and looked her up and down, taking her all in. Ashlyn laughed uncomfortably, but knew he was probably just sizing her up.

“Damn, Alex. You got a looker. Don’t let this one get away.” Kyle winked at Ashlyn before turning his attention to his sister again.

“Oh hush, you. But yeah, she is pretty hot.” Ali smiled at Ashlyn, who was wide eyed at how blunt Ali was being with her brother. Ashlyn could tell how happy Ali was here, happier than she had probably ever seen her. She could tell that it was going to be an incredible holiday, just by how radiant Ali was in that moment.

“Babe!” Ashlyn laughed in response to her girlfriend’s flirtatious remark. Ali reached out and took hold of Ashlyn’s hand and pulled her up the sidewalk into the house where the rest of her family was waiting. They walked in and the feeling of home engulfed Ashlyn’s senses. The house was fragrant with the smell of apple pie, and brightly lit and beautifully decorated. She could hear music coming from the living area accompanied by a faint humming. She followed Ali and her brother into the kitchen where their mother was cooking away, looking radiant despite her illness. Ashlyn could tell where Ali got her looks from; her mother was absolutely beautiful and Ali looked just like her. Ashlyn’s breath escaped her lungs for a moment at the thought of Ali looking just as striking 30 years from now.

“My baby! Alex, I’m so glad you are here.” Her mother threw her arms around her daughter and squeezed. Ashlyn could tell Ali was a bit tentative to the touch, not wanting to hurt her ailing mother. Ashlyn just smiled at the sight and waited patiently for the embrace to end. “And you must be Ashlyn. I am so excited and happy to meet you. I hope you know how welcome you are here and I thank you for coming along with Alex this holiday.” With Ashlyn’s face in her hands, Ali’s mother kissed her cheek and pulled her into a warm hug.

“Thank you so much for opening up your home to me, Mrs. Krieger.” The women pulled away quickly and chuckled.

“Oh please, call me Deb, or Debbie. Whatever you prefer!” Ashlyn smiled at Debbie and felt a calm and comfortable feeling take over. All the worrying Ashlyn had done over the last couple weeks had disappeared.

“Or Deb Deb!” Kyle interjected with a laugh. Ali laughed along with him while wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s waist. Ashlyn threw an arm around Ali’s shoulders and smiled down at her happy girl. Ali turned and yawned into Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“Tired, babe?” Ashlyn asked, to which Ali nodded.

“Why don’t you girls get settled in upstairs; I set you up in your old room, Al. Kyle, get their bags from the car so they can go rest up before dinner.” Deb turned back to the counter and kept preparing their meal for the evening.

“Are you sure you don’t want any help, Deb? I’m pretty mean in the kitchen.” Ashlyn smiled at Ali, who knew just how great of a cook she was.

“No, no. You go rest up, I’ve got this handled.” Ashlyn could tell that, even though she was sick, Deb was a fighter and wouldn’t let anything come between her and what she wanted to do for her family. It was a quality that Ashlyn noticed in Ali countless times, and seeing where it came from only made Ashlyn love Ali that much more.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Is that you?!” Ashlyn says with a screech after seeing a picture of Ali when she was about 8 years old.

“Yes.” Ali mumbles while setting her bag down.

“You were so stinking cute.” Ashlyn paused and looked at Ali with a smirk, which Ali knew all too well. “What happened?” Ashlyn threw her head back in a laugh as soon as Ali glared at her. Ali shoved Ashlyn’s shoulder and crossed her arms.

“Jerk. I’m still cute.” Ali pouted. Ashlyn took a step closer to Ali and put her arms around her waist.

“Oh baby, you are beyond cute. You’re absolutely adorable.” Ashlyn leaned in and kissed Ali’s forehead. “You’re not just cute though, Alex. You’re breathtaking. The second I saw your mom I could see where it all came from.” Ashlyn pulled the brunette into her chest for a hug and held her for a while. Ali didn’t want to break the contact, so she snuggled deeper into Ashlyn’s chest.

“Thanks, babe. That means a lot to me to hear you say that. She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Ali made eye contact with the blonde and waited for her reply.

“She is. It makes me excited to see what you look like in 30 years. I’m sure you’ll be just as beautiful as you are now, if not more. Like a fine wine! Only gets better with age.” Ashlyn smiled down at Ali and they both laughed. After a moment, Ashlyn’s words finally sunk in and Ali started to freak out a little.

“30 years? You… You want to be around that long?” Ali looked into Ashlyn’s eyes and tried to read them. Ali liked the sound of spending that many years with Ashlyn by her side, but it was also terrifying to think about something so long term.

“Sure I do. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. That is, if you are okay with that.” Ashlyn looked down for a moment and Ali realized she was probably scaring Ashlyn by making her think Ali didn’t want that too. It was just shocking to really know Ashlyn’s commitment to Ali, but Ali had never felt so sure of anything more than she did about her relationship and future with Ashlyn.

“Baby,” Ali pulled Ashlyn’s face up by her chin to meet hers, “I want nothing more than to grow old with you. So, yes I am more than okay with you spending the rest of your life by my side, because I want you there too.” Ali leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips against Ashlyn’s. She wrapped her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and pulled her body tight against the goalkeeper’s. After a moment like this, their lips parted and Ashlyn’s leaned her forehead against Ali’s.

“How did I get so lucky?” Ashlyn, with her hand on her girlfriend’s cheek, pulled Ali’s face up to kiss the lips that made her feel like anything and everything was possible.

“Alright, you two. At least close the door if you’re gonna do the nasty.” Kyle entered the room and put down the girls bags.

“The “nasty”, Kyle? Really? And its not like that would keep you from coming in unannounced all the damn time, as usual.” Ali quickly kissed Ashlyn’s cheek before releasing her from their embrace and crossing the room to where Kyle stood. “Thank you for getting our bags. How much should I tip you?” Ali joked, earning a swift slap to her shoulder from Kyle.

“Very funny. So, I don’t know what you guys have planned for tonight, but after dinner I’m going to an event for To Write Love on Her Arms with some friends if you want to come along.”

“What’s that?” Ashlyn asked, taking a couple steps across the room until she was in front of Kyle.

“It’s a non-profit organization that has helped a lot of people struggling with addiction, depression, self-harm, you name it. It should be really inspiring. Just let me know if you’re in.” Kyle smiled as he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

“You want to go babe?” Ali asked, noticing how deep in thought Ashlyn looked at the moment. Something about this event was occupying Ashlyn’s mind, and whatever it was intrigued Ali.

“I would love to go to that, yeah. It sounds really interesting.” Ashlyn smiled, but Ali could tell that Ashlyn was holding back. Whatever was going on in that beautiful mind of hers, Ali wanted to know, but she knew Ashlyn would tell her when she felt comfortable. Ali closed the gap between them and put her hand on Ashlyn’s chest.

“Then we will definitely go, babe.” Ali kissed Ashlyn lightly before heading to the bathroom to freshen up for dinner. As comfortable as Ali was with their relationship, she knew she didn’t know everything there was to know about her girlfriend. Whatever Ashlyn was holding back wouldn’t make a difference to Ali, and she knew that wholeheartedly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! An update! Thanks for the support! Hope you like this one. Enjoy!

Dinner with Ali’s family went by without a hitch. Ali’s mom asked Ashlyn a lot of questions, which Ashlyn was more than happy to answer. She quickly learned how hysterical Kyle was and she was grateful for that since nearly everything out of his mouth left Ali in stitches. Ashlyn loved the sound of Ali’s laughter. It was something that could turn any bad day into a good one; it was a sound that made Ashlyn’s heart do flips inside her chest. She knew she could hear that sound everyday and never get tired of it.

While cleaning up after dinner, Ashlyn forced her way to the sink to clean the dishes, despite Debbie’s arguments that she was a guest and shouldn’t have to clean up.

“Exactly. I’m just earning my keep, Deb. Go sit and relax with Ali and Kyle. Please?” Ashlyn pleaded. She could see how much pride Debbie took in her home, but she wanted her to rest and not overwork herself. Deb flashed Ashlyn a thankful smile, one that reached all the way to her ears.

“You’re too kind, Ashlyn. But thank you, I guess I never know when to stop. I can tell you probably take good care of my daughter, so thank you for that as well. She needs someone who can remind her to slow down for a moment.” Debbie stepped closer to Ashlyn and gave her a kiss on the cheek. In a whisper she said, “She gets that from me, clearly.” Ashlyn smiled as Debbie turned and walked into the living room to sit with her kids. The living area was completely open so Ashlyn could see all three of them laughing and talking. She loved seeing Ali in this atmosphere. She could sense how free Ali was with her family surrounding her, how comfortable she was. Ashlyn felt it too. She felt safe with Ali and her family, almost as if she had always been a part of this family and she loved that feeling.

In the back of Ashlyn’s mind was her own family. She watched Ali’s and couldn’t help but make connections to her own life and how different it was. Sure, Ashlyn was close to her brother; she had his name tattooed on her own body. But Ashlyn’s parents weren’t like Ali’s. They had struggled with addiction her whole life and weren’t around much. For the most part, her grandmother raised her and her brother and she credits her life to that woman. As difficult as it was for Ashlyn to talk about, she knew she needed to finally let Ali in on the secrets of her past. She trusted Ali before, but even after the short time of being surrounded by Ali’s family, she knew she could give it all to Ali and not worry about scaring her away.

While lost in thought, she didn’t even notice Ali get up and walk over to her. With Ali’s arms wrapped around Ashlyn’s waist from behind, she left a trail of kisses along Ashlyn’s exposed skin around the collar of her shirt.

“You okay, babe?” Ali asked while turning Ashlyn to face her. Ashlyn looked down at her hands while she dried them with a towel. This wasn’t the right place to open up, not yet anyway, but she wanted to.

“Yeah, love. I’m okay. Just thinking about a lot, that’s all.” Ashlyn gave Ali a quick kiss on the cheek to reassure her that everything was fine.

“We’ll talk about it later?” Ali questioned, but Ashlyn knew there wasn’t really a choice in the matter.

“Yeah, of course.” She pulled Ali into a tight hug and held her there for a moment. It didn’t matter how weak Ashlyn left, with Ali in her arms she felt her strength build up again. “I love you, you know that right?” Ashlyn spoke against the skin on Ali’s neck. She pulled back and furrowed her brow at Ashlyn. She could tell Ali was trying to read the emotion behind Ashlyn’s eyes, but knew she wouldn’t be able to. This vulnerability was not something she had shown Ali yet. Instead of answering the question, Ali quickly closed the gap between their lips and kissed Ashlyn hard. After a moment, Ali released Ashlyn’s lips and leaned her forehead against Ashlyn’s.

“I love you so much, Ash, and I know with every fiber of my being that you love me too. Thank you for never letting me doubt that.”

“You guys are sickening! Honestly. I need to find a boyfriend that looks at me the way Ashlyn looks at you, Alex.” Kyle interrupted. However, Ashlyn was thankful for the distraction from her emotions at that moment.

“Oh stop it. You’ll find someone, hopefully.” Ali stuck out her tongue at her brother and went to grab her jacket before he could insult her back.

“How do you put up with her?” Kyle joked, which allowed a small chuckle to escape Ashlyn.

“Hey, she’s nice to me.” They both laughed and followed behind Ali to get ready to leave for the event.

“Should I bring tissues? Is this even going to leave me weeping like a baby?” Ali pouted, again making Ashlyn laugh. She was feeling lighter already, but she knew it was only a matter of time before her past crept in again.

“Well you’re a big baby, so yeah I would bring tissues.” It was Ali’s turn now to smack Kyle’s arm at the comment. They both laughed and headed outside to the car. _Great, crying. That’s just what I need to do right now. Just hold it together, Harris._

“Hey Al, Kelley called me a little while ago, I just want to call her back. I’ll be there in a second.” Ali nodded and Ashlyn walked far enough away from Ali and her brother so there was no way they could hear her conversation.

“Hey, loser.” Kelley’s voice allowed a sense of calm to come over Ashlyn. She knew her best friend could kelp her figure things out.

“Hey Kel. Sorry I missed your call. Listen, I need to make this quick, but I’m kind of losing it.”

“What’s wrong, Ash? Oh god, is it not going well already?”

“No, Ali’s family is perfect. Being here with them is amazing, but it’s giving me flashbacks to my shitty family.” Ashlyn paused for a moment. “I’ve never told Ali any of my family drama.”

“You haven’t told her anything?!” Kelley spoke loudly.

“No! How could I? Her family seems so perfect and put together. It’s like she’s never had to deal with anything even close to my bullshit. How do you expect me to tell her?” Ashlyn was now frustrated, not seeing any way of bring this up to Ali.

“Ash, you’ve just got to tell her. Don’t worry about what she has or hasn’t been through in her own life. If she loves you like she says she does, she will take whatever your throw at her, whether it’s good, bad, or ugly.” Kelley reassured Ashlyn.

“I know you’re right, but it is much easier said than done. I’ve got baggage, Kel. What if she can’t handle it…” Ashlyn trailed off at the thought of losing Ali. “I can’t lose her…”

“What if not telling her is keeping your relationship from moving forward? What if keeping secrets causes you to lose her? Think about it that way and then tell me you can’t tell her.” _Damn you, Kelley O’Hara._

“You’re right. You are always right. Thank you, Kelley. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Of course I’m always right. Good luck, babe. It’ll be fine. That girl is crazy about you. Love you!” Ashlyn said her own I love you to Kelley and made her way to the car to head out. Ashlyn sat in silence and tried to remember the last time she had felt this nervous. Ali reached over from the driver’s side of the car and placed her hand on Ashlyn’s thigh, relaxing every tense muscle in Ashlyn’s body. She knew it would be difficult, but she was ready; she wanted Ali to know anything and everything about her past, she just wasn’t sure Ali was ready for that.

\-------------------------------------------------

During the event, Ali could tell something was off about Ashlyn. She was there, but at the same time she seemed like she was miles away. She chalked it up to Ashlyn just being invested in what the speaker was saying, but she knew something was wrong; she just hoped Ashlyn would open up to her about it later.

The speaker, Jamie Tworkowski, was the founder of the organization and he was beyond inspiring. Ali couldn’t help but listen intently to his story, and countless others’ stories. During a particularly heart wrenching story of a girl whose parents struggled with addiction, she felt Ashlyn shifting beside her. She turned to her girlfriend and saw tears streaming down her face. Ali immediately directed all her attention to Ashlyn.

“Oh, Ash.” Ali said in a whisper while pulling Ashlyn into her embrace. Ali held her against her chest and rubbed her back, trying anything to calm the blonde down. Ali had no idea what was making Ashlyn fall apart like this, but whatever it was she knew she hated seeing Ashlyn this way. “Babe, do you want to go?”

“No, no. I want to stay. I just… Can I have a tissue?” Ashlyn said with an innocence that shook Ali to her core. She had never seen Ashlyn so distraught and Ali just prayed it was something she could fix. She handed Ashlyn the package of tissues, but continued watching as Ashlyn dried off her face and silently blew her nose. Once Ashlyn was settled, Ali grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.

Ali didn’t take her eyes off Ashlyn for the rest of the night. She didn’t care about anything else going on around her; she only cared about Ashlyn. Kyle could tell something was going on and told Ali he would get a ride home later from a friend so the two could have some alone time. Ali was thankful and gave him a quick hug before pulling Ashlyn along to the car.

“Babe, I’m really okay. You don’t have to be so worried, ya know. I just got a caught up, that’s all.” Ashlyn said calmly. Ali was the opposite of calm. Ashlyn breaking down like that really freaked her out and she needed to know her girlfriend was all right. Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s arm to stop her from walking and spun her around. “Ali, what the hell?”

“Ashlyn, it really scared me seeing you like that. I know everyone has a weak side, but I’ve never seen yours, or you’ve never let me see yours. I just need you to know that whatever has been bothering you tonight, whatever is making you so emotional, I am here for you. I don’t care if you think it’s nothing; I don’t care if it was a long time ago. I do not care if it is something you think will scare me away, because nothing could scare me enough to give up on you, Ash. I mean that.” Ali held Ashlyn’s hands in her own and watched as Ashlyn took a deep breath and looked down at her feet. “Babe, please. Let me take some of the burden from you.” Ali pleaded.

“Can we at least get in the car?” Ashlyn looked up and met Ali’s eyes with a slight smile. Ali slowly came to realize they were standing in the middle of the parking lot.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

Once in the car, Ashlyn remained quiet for a while, but Ali stayed patient and waited for her girlfriend to feel comfortable enough to talk.

“I wish this was easier for me, I honestly do. But I’ve never opened up like this to anyone except Kelley. And the only reason I even did that was because I was wasted at the time.” Ashlyn paused for a few seconds before regaining composure and starting again. “I had a really shitty childhood, Alex. My parents were never around, and when they were, they were high as kites or drunk, or both. My dad, when he wasn’t obliterated, was my biggest supporter. He was sober for a while when I was about 12 and it was the best 6 months of my life. He came to all my games and cheered me on. He was there for everything. To this day, I’m not entirely sure what was worse; having him drunk and MIA all the time and never knowing what it would be like for him to be sober, or knowing how he was sober and having it ripped away in a second. I think about it constantly, those months I actually had a dad, but none of it mattered. My mom fucked it all up and sent him back down the rabbit hole and he never came back up. That’s when my grandma took Chris and I in and raised us. She was tired of seeing us struggle, and wanted us to succeed it life. She got full custody of us and that was it; I never saw my dad again, and I didn’t see my mom until I was 18, at my high school graduation.

I was walking across the stage when my eyes met my moms. She looked good, honestly, but I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. After the ceremony, I found her in the crowd and she told me how proud she was and how happy she was that I was going to college and making something of myself. It was hard to see her, but I missed her so much. Well… I guess I missed the thought of her since I never really knew anything other than her fucked up. But there she was, sober and at my graduation. She took me to dinner that night and everything was going well, until I asked about dad.” Ashlyn didn’t even stop to notice the river of tears running down her cheeks. It was all coming out now, and there was nothing stopping it. Ali held onto Ashlyn’s hand and just sat in silence, afraid that even the slightest sound would scare Ashlyn away.

“She… She told me he was gone. Just like that, she said he was dead. I just froze. I couldn’t believe I was hearing those words fall from her lips. My dad was dead and for four years I hadn’t even known about it. As you can probably imagine, I flipped out. I demanded answers and my mom just couldn’t believe my reaction at the time. I was wild, I practically flipped our table over and got us kicked out of the restaurant. We sat in the parking lot, kind of like this, and just talked. I let everything out. I told her I hated her for ruining him and I told her I hated her for ruining me. She told me she had been sober since he died; that his passing scared her straight, but that wasn’t good enough for me. It took me another two years to forgive her, but I have and to be honest, our relationship has never been better.

She’s still sober and working full time. She has her own house and she’s been seeing the same guy for a little while now. I’m so proud of her and she’s honestly what has kept me going all this time. It was hard growing up with parents like that, but just like my dad was for a short time, my mom has become my biggest supporter. She’s my rock, my driving force, but a day doesn’t go by where I don’t think of him. As much as my mom pushes me, so does he. Everything I do, I do to make him proud. It’s terrifying to think that the people who royally screwed me up are the same people who I live my life for, but that’s just how it is.

I try not to think about how awful it was growing up, but when I saw how your family was it kind of all bubbled up to the surface. And then tonight, he was talking about the girl with the addict parents and it all became too real again. Ali, your family just seems so perfect, and I know its naïve to think that they are, but it was just something I’ve never known.” Ashlyn finally looked up and saw Ali staring back at her, with her own waterfall of tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry, Alex.” Ashlyn pulled Ali in and hugged her tight. “I never meant to make you cry, please stop crying baby.” Ali pulled back and pressed her lips hard against Ashlyn’s. She wanted Ashlyn to know it was all okay, or that it would be okay anyway.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that baby. But I am so happy you’ve let me in, because I want nothing more than to hold this burden for you. You’re not naïve to assume that of my childhood because it’s true. I have never been through anything close to what you’ve been through. Heck, I didn’t experience true loss until a few years ago when my grandmother died; I can’t even imagine what you went through, Ash. I know how vulnerable you must feel right now after letting me in like this, but you should know that this doesn’t change my feelings for you. If anything it only makes them stronger. I love you, Ashlyn Michelle Harris.” Ali took Ashlyn’s face in her hands and leaned their foreheads together. “I am head over heels in love with you and nothing, I mean nothing, is going to change that.” Ali felt Ashlyn relax in her hands and smile. She kissed Ashlyn’s face wherever there was a tear, which made Ashlyn giggle a bit, lightening the mood.

“Thank you, Alex. You’re absolutely amazing. Can I tell you something else?” Ashlyn looked down at her hands that were now intertwined with Ali’s in her lap.

“Anything.” Ali rubbed her thumb against the back of Ashlyn’s hand in an attempt to comfort the blonde.

“I think I know what I want to do after school. Tonight really opened my mind and To Write Love on Her Arms seems like such an amazing organization. I think I want to do what Jamie is doing and maybe start by getting involved with this organization. But someday I want to write a book about my story and hopefully help so many others in the process.”

“Ash, that sounds amazing. I think you could really help people, especially kids in your same situation growing up. I support this babe, 100 percent.”

The two sat in the parking lot for a little while longer, talking about everything and nothing. Ashlyn told Ali more stories from her childhood and Ali listened. She knew it was a huge deal that Ashlyn had opened up so much in that car and was grateful to be given the opportunity to protect Ashlyn and love her despite her past. Ali couldn’t help but feel as though their relationship had just changed forever. There was nothing guarding Ashlyn anymore, and Ali could feel it. The closeness they both were feeling in that moment was incredible. Neither wanted to be anywhere but there together, and that was the most amazing and liberating feeling of all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update time! Enjoy! Keep the awesome feedback coming. I love reading your comments.

Thanksgiving came and went. Ashlyn met nearly all of Ali’s family and, at no surprise to Ali, they absolutely adored her. Ashlyn knew she would manage to get through the weekend, but she had no idea that falling in love with Ali’s family was going to be just as easy as it was falling in love with Ali. Kyle was by far her favorite though. By the end of the weekend, Kyle and Ashlyn were finishing each other sentences and picking on Ali as a team. Ali complained and acted like she hated it, but the happiness in her eyes accompanied by a grateful smirk gave her away. At one point, Kyle pulled Ashlyn aside and told her how much he really approved of Ashlyn. He told her how happy he had been to see Ali with someone who would take care of her and value her as a partner. It made Ashlyn think about just how much she really did love Ali, with all her heart.

“She’s it for me Kyle. Honestly, she could tell me she was a murderer and at this point, I’m not entirely sure it would matter to me.” Ashlyn chuckled at her ridiculous comment and so did Kyle.

“Oh, about that Ash…” Came Ashlyn’s favorite voice from behind her. She turned around and was face to face with a sweaty post-run Ali. Ali lifted up hear tank top to rid the sweat from her brow, reveling abs that still made Ashlyn lose all train of thought. The sight flipped a switch in Ashlyn and whatever conversation she was having with Kyle before didn’t matter a bit.

“Kyle, if you’ll excuse me, I know a sweaty princess that needs some attention.” Ashlyn, without missing a beat, lifted Ali up and threw her over her shoulder, ignoring the squeals from Ali. Ashlyn heard Kyle groan from behind, but she was already barreling up the stairs to the bathroom. Kyle yelled something about sex in the shower, but Ashlyn didn’t care if the house was on fire at that point, she certainly didn’t care about listening to Kyle’s final remarks.

“Ashlyn! Put me down!” Ashlyn obeyed, but they were already in a locked bathroom and Ashlyn had Ali pinned up against the door in a matter of seconds. Ashlyn’s breathing was shallow as she watched Ali’s chest rise and fall against her own.

“Babe… This is my parents house, we can’t fuck in the shower.” The emphasis on the work ‘fuck’ sent a shiver down Ashlyn’s spine, only turning her on more.

“They aren’t home, and I don’t think I would care if they were. You look too good right now.” Ashlyn leaned in and pressed her lips just below Ali’s ear.

“Okay, fine, but I’m all gross and sweaty. You need to let me get in the shower first.” Ali pushed Ashlyn back a few steps before quickly peeling off her shirt and stepping out of her shorts, leaving only a sports bra and underwear on. Ashlyn stepped into Ali’s space again, but was rejected when Ali pushed her back with a hand on her chest. “No touching.” Ali spoke sternly. Ali slowly removed her bra and wiggled out of her underwear, letting Ashlyn’s eyes rake over all her newly exposed skin. Ali slipped by Ashlyn, turned on the shower, and adjusted the water before getting in. Behind her, she could hear Ashlyn shifting and figured she was getting naked too.

It wasn’t long before the two were completely lost in each other, fighting over dominance against the cold shower walls. The extra adrenaline pumping through Ali’s veins following her run was just enough to overpower Ashlyn and finally reverse the script a little. With Ashlyn against the wall where Ali wanted her, she dropped to her knees and looked up at Ashlyn through hooded eyes. With Ashlyn’s head tilted back, she could still feel Ali’s gaze and turned her attention to the brunette on her knees in front of her. The sight was nearly enough to make her come undone.

“You’re beautiful,” Ashlyn started, looking lovingly at Ali, “and so fucking sexy. Oh my god.” The look she was giving Ali was now riddled with darkness and lust, and she needed contact as soon as possible. Ali must have read her mind because Ashlyn didn’t have to wait a second longer to feel Ali’s tongue escape her mouth and find its way into Ashlyn’s folds. The moan that escaped Ashlyn’s lips at the contact drove Ali wild, and the pulse she felt in between her own thighs only increased. She needed to relieve some pressure, but didn’t want to give up her position of choice for anything. She slid her own hand between her legs and wasn’t surprised to find how wet she already was; Ashlyn had a way of doing that to her.

Ali knew Ashlyn was too lost in a haze to realize just how hard Ali was working to concentrate on the blonde. Finally, Ashlyn looked down and noticed where Ali’s hand was.

“Baby, are you…” Ashlyn trailed off and pressed the back of her head against the shower wall behind her. Ali didn’t want Ashlyn to get distracted from the end goal, so she did that thing with her tongue that she knew Ashlyn loved, and slid her tongue lower into Ashlyn's core. Ali felt the pulse beneath her tongue and knew Ashlyn was close and quickened the pace of her own fingers to catch up with the blonde. “Fuck Alex.” Ashlyn moaned, loudly, matching Ali’s moan between her folds. Ali pulled back and leaned her forehead against Ashlyn’s thigh, gathering her composure, before standing up to kiss her girlfriend. “Damn it, that was fucking awesome. Did you…” Before Ashlyn could finish her question, Ali’s lips were pressed hard against her own and they just stayed like that for a moment before Ali pulled back and nodded. “Yeah, that was hot. I don’t even care that you did my job for me.” They both chuckled and kissed a couple more times before actually using the shower for its original purpose.

Once outside the shower, Ashlyn slipped her arms around Ali’s waist and leaned her chin on the crook of Ali’s neck with her front pressed against Ali’s back.

“You’re very special to me, Al. I just want you to know that.” Ashlyn quickly kissed Ali’s neck and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Ali’s ears buzzing from the statement laced with sincerity.

\------------------------------------------------

“Are you two ready to go? I’m starving!” Kyle yelled from the bottom of the stairs. The three decided to spend their last day at the fair in town while Debbie was at the hospital getting a round of treatment. While Ali’s mind was not far from her mom, she knew there was only so much she could do before she drove herself crazy.

“We’ll be down in a minute.” Ali was just finishing her makeup and could feel Ashlyn’s eyes on her from behind. “Quit staring.” Ali chuckled before turning around to see a wide-eyed Ashlyn.

“You caught me. I can’t help myself, babe. You’re too good looking. Honestly, its your own fault.” Ashlyn slipped her hand into Ali’s and intertwined their fingers.

“Oh, it’s my fault you can’t keep your eyes off my ass for more than 5 seconds?” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand and smiled up at the blonde.

“Yep, your fault. You ready to go?” Ashlyn looked Ali up and down once more and smiled back at her.

“Keep those eyes up here missy. And yeah, I’m ready.” Ashlyn walked out first pulling Ali along behind her and down the stairs where an impatient Kyle was waiting.

“Finally!” Kyle exclaimed before heading out the door.

It wasn’t long before they were walking through the front gates and onto the fair grounds. Ali was now tucked into Ashlyn’s side with her arms around the blonde’s waist. Ashlyn was holding Ali close, using the excuse that it was a bit chilly that day, but they both knew this was a regular occurrence. In the past, Ali was never overly comfortable with public displays of affection, but it came naturally with Ashlyn, as if it was second nature. The three walked around and stopped at different vendors to look at everything and anything. Ali was beyond happy to be with her two favorite people for the day, but that didn’t stop her mind from pulling her back to her mother. She was worried, rightfully so, but she was trying her best to stay positive, and it was fairly easy to do that with the two most positive people she had ever met by her side.

While lost in thought, Ali had completely missed the conversation Kyle and Ashlyn were having about having a contest with one of the fair games.

“Babe?” Ashlyn nudged Ali and continued once the brunette looked up at her. “Which game do you want to play? Your choice.” Ali looked in front of her and scanned the games. Basketball was fun, but she couldn’t shoot for shit. That water gun game was exciting and she honestly believed that the baseball game where you have to knock all the blocks off the table in one throw was rigged.

“The water gun one. I’m going to wipe the floor with you two.” Ali said as she released herself from Ashlyn’s grip and jogged over to the booth and claimed her chair. Kyle and Ashlyn sat on either side of Ali and set up with their hands wrapped around the water gun.

“You’re going down, Alex. You too, Ash!” Kyle was now more focused than Ali thought she had ever seen him. Ali threw her head back in a laugh and Ashlyn stuck her tongue out in Kyle’s direction. The game host counted down for the trio and the game started. Ashlyn was in the lead at first, until Kyle somehow shot ahead, but Ali was firmly in last the entire time. She knew she didn’t have a chance, so with seconds left she leaned over and pushed Kyle’s elbow, which moved his water gun off target, allowing Ashlyn to pull ahead and win.

“Oh, what the hell! You little shit!” Kyle exclaimed with a smile on his face. Ali knew he wouldn’t have been mad, but she just wanted to mess with him a bit.

“Yes!” Ashlyn cheered with her arms above her head. “Thanks babe!” Ashlyn wrapped an arm around Ali’s waist and pulled close against her chest before kissing her deeply.

“Mmm, no problem.” She hummed against Ashlyn’s lips. Ashlyn smiled down at the beautiful brunette in her arms and laughed when she saw a disgruntled Kyle.

“Don’t be a sore loser, man!” Ashlyn chuckled. Ali was laughing and leaning in to hug Ashlyn when she saw a familiar face behind them. She couldn’t pin point exactly where she knew this girl from, but the way she was staring daggers into Ashlyn’s back let her know that she recognized them too. Before Ali could warn Ashlyn, the girl stepped closer.

“Ashlyn.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting real guys! Enjoy this update, and don't hate me too much! Again, I love your comments so keep em' coming. Prepare yourselves for some hard times...

The voice was all too familiar, and it shook Ashlyn to her core. She turned around slowly and came face to face with probably the last person she would want to see right then.

“Laura, hey. How are you?” Ashlyn asked politely. Ashlyn hadn’t even thought that running into Laura here was a possibility, even though her school was a couple towns over. It wasn’t even a thought she wanted to allow into her mind, and now, here she was, standing a couple feet away.

“I’m doing well. I wasn’t sure if it was you at first since we’re kinda far from home for you.” She smiled at the blonde before her eyes flickered to Ali, who was still a bit shell shocked.

“Oh, Laura this is my girlfriend Ali. Ali this is Laura.” Laura stuck out her hand and Ali reciprocated. _Oh my god someone save me. This is so awkward. Where the hell is Kyle when you need him?_ Ashlyn thought. But right on cue, Kyle rejoined the girls and slung an arm around Ashlyn’s shoulders.

“Hello.” Kyle waved to Laura, who smiled back slightly. “I’m Kyle, Ali’s favorite brother.”

“You’re my only brother, nut job. I don’t have a choice.” Ali looked up at her brother and smiled, thankful he stepped in to ease the tension.

“Oh that’s just a technicality.” The three girls let out a quick laugh at the sibling banter before Ashlyn introduced Laura to Kyle.

“Kyle, this is Laura. We, uh, we used to go to school together.” Ashlyn admitted hesitantly. She felt Ali’s eyes burning into the side of her face, willing her to look, but she was frozen.

“Oh! So you must have had the pleasure of being taught by the best professor around!” Kyle threw his other arm around Ali and squeeze. Ali’s eyes were now on him and she looked like she was ready to slap him. She elbowed him in the ribs so he would realize the time to stop talking was 1 minute ago.

“No… You’re a professor at UNC?” Laura questioned, not taking her eyes off a clearly flustered Ali.

“Yes.” Ali said flatly. Laura let out a frustrated laugh.

“Unbelievable. Only you, Ash. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Laura quickly turned and started to walk away. Ashlyn looked at Ali apologetically before jogging to catch up with Laura.

“Laura, wait a sec. Can we talk?” Ashlyn placed her hand on Laura’s shoulder lightly so she would stop walking.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Ashlyn. You’re fucking a professor. Do you know how fucking stupid that is?” Ashlyn watched as the tears pooled at the bottom of Laura’s eyes. It was shocking to see her so upset; after all, it had been a while since they were anything romantic. But even still, Ashlyn felt guilty.

“It’s not like that, Laura. I love her. Please understand.”

“You love her?! Jesus, Ash. We were together for how long and I don’t think I ever heard you say that word once.” Laura now had tears running down her cheeks, Ash reached out and pulled her into a hug. In the time they were together, Ashlyn knew Laura’s feelings for her ran deep, but she couldn’t help not feeling the same. She was guarded then, unable to feel love at the time. It was unfortunate timing, but there was nothing Ashlyn could have done.

“Don’t make this about us. You need to let it go, let me go. I want the best for you and I want you to be happy, but you need to realize that that won’t be with me.” Ashlyn rubbed Laura’s back tentatively.

“Oh, fuck you.” She pushed back from the blonde hard, sending her back a couple steps. “I am over you. You were selfish and heartless; I just can’t believe I ever fell for you. I’m pissed because I’ll never get that time back, not because I want you back.”

“Okay, then good. You just seem really upset, that’s all. I’m sorry seeing me bothers you so much. Just, please don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t need this getting out and being a whole ordeal.” Ashlyn looked back at Ali and Kyle, who were also in what looked like an intense conversation.

“We’ll see about that. I’ll do what I want.” Ashlyn whipped her head back to look at Laura and felt a chill run through her entire body.

“What? You can’t tell anyone. It would be terrible for Ali’s career. I need to trust you, Laura. This is her life you’re fucking with, not mine.” Ashlyn pleaded; the thought of their relationship getting back to the school was making her feel sick.

“Yeah, she’s fucking with your life.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. She is not fucking with my life; she makes it better. I’m not some little freshman being taken advantage of, Laura. I can take care of myself.” Ashlyn was fuming, unsure of what to do if Laura really followed through with the threat. Ashlyn knew she could be vindictive, but was terrified to see how far she could go.

“Whatever, Ash. It’s against the rules and you know it.”

“Oh don’t be so righteous. You’re full of shit right now. You spew all this bullshit about caring about me, and now you want to fuck me over?” Ashlyn was getting loud now and drawing some unwanted attention from the crowds walking by.

“Hey, you knew I was crazy, you said so yourself.” Laura mocked.

“You’re not even making sense now.” Ashlyn threw her hands up in defeat.

“You fucked me over, Ashlyn. You pulled me in and broke my heart. Now, maybe it’s your turn to pick up the pieces.” The look in Laura’s eyes made Ashlyn want to disappear. There was nothing there, no lightness that attracted her to the girl in the first place, and no kindness that she had known at one point. Laura was dead serious, and Ashlyn had no idea how to stop the avalanche that had ensued.

“You can’t do this, please. Just, let it go. Okay? I need you to drop this.” Ashlyn begged, ready to get down on her knees if need be.

“I don’t think so, Ash. Goodbye.” Laura turned and walked away, but Ashlyn couldn’t move. Her feet were unresponsive to her brain screaming at her to chase after Laura. But within seconds, the crowd swallowed her up as if she was never there to begin with. Ashlyn had hoped that was true, that the encounter was all a sick nightmare. Only it wasn’t, it was all too real, and now Ashlyn had to pull herself together and prepare to pick up whatever pieces Laura told her would fall. She prayed that maybe Laura was bluffing, just trying to scare the blonde, but somehow she knew there was truth behind the threat; somehow she knew the avalanche had only just begun.

\------------------------------------------------

“Ali, what’s going on?” Kyle grabbed Ali’s shoulder to force her attention, which was glued on Ashlyn and Laura.

“I don’t know, I’m obviously not over there and I can’t fucking read lips, Kyle.” Ali shot back aggressively and watched as Kyle raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Woah, tiger. Can you please explain what I just accidently stumbled in to?” It wasn’t Kyle’s fault that he had just outted the couple, but Ali was furious at him nonetheless. As much as she wanted to yell at him, she knew he had no idea and she was sure she would need him to get through this.

“That’s Ashlyn’s ex, or whatever.” Ali paused to gather her thoughts, but before she could continue with the information that would shock her brother, he started again.

“Okay, but why was she pissed after finding out you were a professor?” _Here we go, just breathe Ali. He won’t be too pissed…_

“Because she’s a student.” Ali said void of emotion. She couldn’t believe this was happening, and she certainly wasn’t prepared to come clean about the truth of her and Ashlyn’s relationship.

“Laura? But she…” Kyle trailed off and Ali knew he had put two and tow together.

“No, Ashlyn is a student. She’s one of my students.” Ali was now face to face with an utterly shocked Kyle. “She’s not a former student, Kyle, she’s a current student.” Ali looked down at her feet, feeling a whole host of emotions. She was angry at herself for letting this happen, she was scared of whatever conversation was going on between Ashlyn and Laura, and now she was ashamed that she had lied to her brother and the rest of their family. “Please don’t hate me…”

“Alex, look at me.” Ali looked up and relaxed as soon as her eyes flashed over a smile she knew well. “Look, this seems like a really fucking complicated pickle you’ve got yourself in, but I know you, and I know you wouldn’t get yourself into something that didn’t feel right. So what Ashlyn is a student? She’s no more than, what, 5 or 6 years younger than you? That’s nothing. I trust your judgment babe and I support your relationship with Ash. She makes you happy and I can see that in everything you do.” Kyle wrapped his strong arms around Ali’s shoulder and pulled her in tight. Ali’s muscles relaxed at the embrace and let herself melt into him.

“Thank you, Kyle.” Ali pulled back out of Kyle’s arms. “I really appreciate that, but I’m worried about the school. They frown on student-professor relationships and the last thing they need is any bad publicity. And I’m a female professor… I’m just worried about them finding out.” Ali could feel the wave of tears coming but bit the inside of her cheek to keep them at bay.

“That’s bullshit. Male professors fool around with students all the time. What you have with Ashlyn is real! It’s not some sexual predator shit.”

“I know that, I just hope Laura over there doesn’t fuck this up for Ash and I. I love her, it would kill me if all of this exploded and fucked up her future.” Ali could feel the tears coming.

“Her future? Babe, I know you love her but you have a future too. Don’t forget that.” Kyle gave Ali a concerned look, distracting Ali from the impending river of tears.

“I know, I know.” Before Ali could explain herself, Ashlyn came walking over. “Babe, what happened?” Ali said while wrapping her arms around the keeper’s slumped shoulders. The feeling of warmth and protection in Ashlyn’s arms has been replaced with cold and sadness. Ali pulls back, trying to command Ashlyn’s attention, but there was nothing there. “Baby, talk to me. What is going on?” Ali was starting to panic and she could feel her heartbeat quicken.

“She’s going to tell the school…” Ali watched as a tear rolled down Ashlyn’s cheek and her heart began to shatter. “Ali, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“Actually, I think it’s mine. I’m sorry, guys. I never know when to keep my mouth shut.” Kyle was met with hard glares from both Ali and Ashlyn. They weren’t made at him, he had no idea, but the conversation that needed to be had would clearly need to happen in private. “Sorry.” Kyle mumbled.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here. I’m done with this day.” Ali spoke up. Ashlyn went to intertwine her fingers with Ali’s, but after a moment, the contact was too much for Ali who was simply struggling to breathe at that point. As soon as she released her hand, she felt Ashlyn’s eyes on the side of her face. She shook her head, letting Ashlyn know that now was not the time, and they just needed to get home. Denying Ashlyn the contact was difficult, but at that point it was hard enough to stand on her own two feet, let alone hold someone else up on their own.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this chapter... It's going to be a rough bunch of updates coming up, but I don't want to give anything away. I hope you still enjoy this, let me know what you guys think is going to happen! I know ya'll can make it through the heartache. Thanks again for the feedback.

Once back at the house, the couple excused themselves and made their way to their room. Ashlyn knew they needed to talk about what had transpired, but as she sat on edge of the bed, her mind blank. She willed herself to speak up and tell Ali that everything was going to be okay, but even she didn’t believe that was true. She watched as Ali paced the length of the room, mumbling to herself incoherently. She forced herself to stand and close the gap between them. She threw her arms around Ali’s shoulders and felt Ali melt into her embrace. If she couldn’t speak, she would show Ali it was going to be okay; that they would make it out of this. Finally, after what felt like hours of silence, Ashlyn was able to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.” She kissed Ali’s hair before pulling back with her arms still around the brunette. When she looked into Ali’s eyes, she could see how broken her girlfriend had become in such a short time. The coldness housed behind her gorgeous cinnamon eyes shattered Ashlyn’s heart instantly. She took a step back and brought her arms down to her side. She could see the wheels in Ali’s head turning, but she never could have expected what would happen next.

“I have to get ahead of this, Ash. I need to tell the dean as soon as we get back to school.” Ali looked as if her own words shocked her as the fell from her mouth. Ashlyn’s eyes widened and she felt her stomach turn into one big knot.

“Ali, you can’t do that. I’ll talk to Laura again, I promise. I’ll convince her to keep it to herself. Please, don’t do anything just yet.” Ashlyn pleaded, the thought of what could happen if Ali told the truth made her desperate.

“I can’t wait for the inevitable, Ashlyn. She looked pretty fucking serious to me,” the curse made Ashlyn wince, “and I’m not willing to jeopardize my career or your education for this.” Ali stepped around the blonde and started to pack up her things.

“Al, they’re going to make you leave the school. Don’t do this to yourself.” Ashlyn turned to Ali, but her feet were frozen, unable to step closer.

“Well, then that’s what will happen and I’ll prepare for that.” The words shocked Ashlyn. How could Ali be so nonchalant about leaving Ashlyn? Ashlyn’s mind began to race and nothing good ever came of that.

“Oh, so you’d be totally fine with us being separated and leaving me? That’s fucking great to hear.”

“Don’t take the words out of my mouth. I never said I would be okay with leaving you. I don’t want that, but if that’s what happens then we need to be prepared.” Ali was calm, as if none of this was fazing her and that only spurred her on more.

“This is unbelievable!” Ashlyn raised her voice, and as soon as she did, Ali whipped around and glared in her direction.

“Don’t fucking yell at me, Ashlyn. This isn’t my fault.”

“Oh, and it’s _my_ fault? Yeah, right. I totally wanted this to happen.” Ashlyn felt herself losing control. If she didn’t stop now, she was going to say things she would regret, but maybe it was too late. “You seem just fine with the thought of leaving, so fucking leave. Go ahead and tell the dean. Don’t bother worrying about me.” Ashlyn’s feet were finally working again. She grabbed her coat from the edge of the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Where she was going, she had no idea, but she needed to get out of that room that just felt like it was getting smaller and smaller around her. She replayed her words in her head and felt sick. Before she could even make it too far down the street, she doubled over and threw up on the side of the road. She finally sat down on the curb and sobbed into the palm of her hands. _What is happening to me?_ She thought. It had been years since she had felt this much stress and anguish over anything. It had been years since her body felt this weak. Ashlyn had been strong for so long, and Ali normally made her stronger, but right now Ashlyn felt like a feather could slice her open. Her mind raced through the last few hours and she felt her stomach tighten again. She could feel her pulse in her throat and she thought she could even hear it too. All she could think about was Ali, and how she seemed totally fine with leaving Ashlyn behind, as if the months they had spent together meant nothing. She didn’t want to believe that was true, that the brunette never cared, but all her insecurities were breaking through and nothing was stopping her from feeling heartbroken. Ashlyn sat there on the curb for what felt like forever, not wanted to go back into the house to face Ali and what she felt was their demise. So Ashlyn just sat there and let the crisp air wash over her exposed cheeks. She waited for her skin to burn under the cold air, but she felt nothing; she was numb, but maybe that was a good thing.

\-----------------------------------------------

The second the door slammed behind Ashlyn, Ali crumbled to the floor. With her face in the palm of her hands, she let herself break. She knew Ashlyn was just upset and speaking out of anger, but Ali was hurt that Ashlyn would think so little of Ali and her intentions to tell the dean. Ashlyn’s assumption that Ali was so ready to give up their relationship because her career was in jeopardy was something Ali resented. Of course her relationship with Ashlyn meant the world to her, but so did her career that she worked so hard for; she wasn’t willing to throw it all away, and she struggled to convey that to Ashlyn in a way that didn’t sound like a break up.

Ali slowly pulled herself up off the floor and sat on top of her hands on the edge of her bed. She stared at her feet while her mind raced. She knew Ashlyn would have to come back soon, seeing as she had no place else to go, and she would need to pull herself together enough to explain how she really felt to Ashlyn. She didn’t want this to be it for them, and she needed Ashlyn to know that no matter where she ended up teaching, she knew their relationship was worth the distance. Ali just hoped that Ashlyn felt the same, but it didn’t seem promising based off her initial reaction to the potential separation of space. Ali began to wonder if Ashlyn was really mature enough for this kind of relationship, one that ran smoothly for so long and was now hitting the inevitable bumpy road ahead. A knock at the door made her freeze, but relax once she saw her mom opening it gingerly.

“Hi, sweetheart. I’m sorry to bother you…” Ali quickly stood up and crossed the room to pull her mom into a strong embrace. Deb wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed as tightly as her frail body would let her. Ali quietly cried into her mothers shoulder for a moment before releasing her mom and guiding her to take a seat on the bed.

“I have to tell you something, mom, and I’m scared you’re going to be so disappointed in me.” Ali looked down at her hands in her lap, unable to bring herself to look her mother in the eye.

“Honestly, Alex. I could never be disappointed in you. Just tell me what has you so upset.” Deb placed her hand on top of Ali’s and squeezed before rubbing her thumb against her daughters knuckles.

“Ash… Ashlyn is a student of mine…” Ali trailed off, but knew she would need to continue. “Currently, that is.”

“Oh, Alex. I’m not disappointed in you for this. I trust your judgment because I raised you right. I’m a little upset you lied to me though…” Ali shot her eyes up to meet her mothers and a wave of guilt flooded her body.

“I’m so sorry I lied. I never should have done that, I should have been truthful from the beginning and maybe karma wouldn’t be biting me in the ass right now.”

“What do you mean? Where’s Ashlyn, anyway?” Deb watched Ali with a concerned look in her eyes.

“I don’t know where she is, we got into an argument and she stormed off. It’s not really like her to do that, but I know she was upset. We ran into an ex of hers at the fair and it slipped out that I was a professor…” Ali took a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, she threatened to tell the school about out relationship. I don’t want to, but I feel like I need to get ahead of this, ya know?” She searched for reassurance in her mother, who nodded and let Ali continue. “Well, that idea scared Ash, rightfully so, because it could mean I have to leave my job at UNC, my dream teaching job, and work somewhere else. If that happens, well then Ashlyn and I would be separated, but hopefully only for a little while since she graduates after next semester.”

“So do you think Ashlyn is just worried about the distance or is this something else?” Deb inquired.

“I’m not totally sure. She sounded so heartbroken as soon as I suggested the whole idea, so I don’t know if she’s scared, or just too immature to handle the stress of all of this. She just seemed so helpless…”

“This just seems like uncharted waters for her, I don’t see it as immature.” Deb suggested, making Ali realize that Ashlyn’s age didn’t have to be a factor here.

“You’re right, it’s just the situation. But she just seemed so ready to quit on me at the first sign of trouble. I love her so much and I would do anything to make this relationship work, I just wish she could see that telling the dean doesn’t mean putting a nail in the coffin. Maybe this is just the out she has been looking for…” Ali could feel the tears starting to fall as her mom pulled her into her chest. Ali stayed there and released all her emotion before pulling away and thanking her mother. “Thanks mom. I love you.”

“I love you most, sweetheart. I know you have a good head on your shoulders; I know you’ll do what is best for you. Don’t be scared, be confident. I believe in you.” Deb’s words encouraged Ali to be strong and help Ashlyn be strong as well. Whatever was about to come their way, Ali knew they could survive it, together.

Deb left Ali alone to wait for Ashlyn to return. Finally, after about an hour, Ashlyn came into the room with her head down. Ali ran over and threw her arms around Ashlyn, only to be pushed away.

“Ash, baby, please don’t be upset with me. We’re going to be okay…” Ali trailed off, unsure of her own words at that point.

“Can we just get going? I need to get home.” Ashlyn spoke softly, refusing to look up at Ali. “We can talk about this later, right now I can’t…” Ali could see Ashlyn get choked up and wanted nothing more than to relieve her pain. Ali took Ashlyn’s face into her hands and pulled the blonde’s head up to meet her gaze.

“Don’t you push me away, Ashlyn. That is not what we do.” Before Ali could finish, Ashlyn grabbed Ali’s wrists and pulled them off her face.

“It’s what I do. Let’s go.” Ashlyn dropped Ali’s hands and crossed the room to grab hers and Ali’s bags and quickly walked out of the room and down the stairs to the car. Ali could hear Ashlyn say a quick goodbye to her parents and her brother before thanking them for having her at the house. Ali turned around to face the rest of her room and took a shaky but deep breath. Maybe this was it for them after all. Maybe they just couldn’t come back from this.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just Ashlyn's chapter. It ended up being longer than I expected. The next chapter will be Ali if it's just as long. Enjoy!

The car ride home made for the most uncomfortable 4 hours of Ashlyn’s entire life. The silence was deafening, and by the time they got out of the car, Ashlyn’s ears were ringing. She honestly couldn’t remember if the radio was on at all because nothing was louder than her own thoughts. She tried to sleep, but it was never quiet enough. She tried to speak, but she couldn’t find the words. It wasn’t until they had pulled in the driveway of Ali’s house that a wave of relief came over Ashlyn. She stepped out of the car and took a deep breath, letting air fill her aching lungs. Without a word, she grabbed her bag from Ali’s trunk and threw it into her Jeep. As she reached for the handle of her driver side door, she felt Ali’s hand wrap around her elbow and tug her back to face her.

“Ali, please. Not right now. I need to go home. I need to be alone.” Ashlyn couldn’t bring herself to look Ali in the eye. She knew Ali wanted to talk, but right now Ashlyn was more closed off than she had ever been.

“We need to talk about this, Ash. I gave you the entire trip home to be alone and in your own thoughts. Now it’s time to talk.” Ali finished and Ashlyn froze. She slowly looked up at Ali, who took a step back in response to the look in Ashlyn’s eyes.

“You think that was enough? I was suffocating the entire time. You sitting there next to me in silence does not constitute as being _alone_. I don’t think you know the fucking meaning of the word. I said I need some time. You seem like you know pretty well what your plan is here, so just do it. It’s not like it matters what I think.” Ali’s hand released from around Ashlyn’s elbow and dropped down to her side. Ashlyn stared back at Ali with so much anger and resentment that Ashlyn wouldn’t have been surprised if Ali slapped her square across the face, but she knew she wouldn’t. Ali just stepped back and leaned against her car without breaking eye contact with Ashlyn.

After a moment, Ashlyn watched as a few tears escaped Ali’s eyes as Ali quickly wiped them away. Ashlyn’s heart clenched and she thought that maybe she had been a little too angry with the brunette. After all, this wasn’t her fault. “Alex,” Ashlyn stepped into Ali’s space and leaned her forehead against hers, “I didn’t mean that. I’m… I’m sorry baby. I just need to go home, okay? I need to shower and unpack, do some homework, get my mind off this shit for a little bit. I’ll call you later and if you want I can come back and we’ll talk about everything.” Ashlyn pressed her lips against Ali’s forehead and felt Ali nod beneath her.

“I’m sorry too. I don’t mean to put pressure on you. I’m just scared.” Ali wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist and squeezed. What was once a gesture of love and admiration, now felt like Ali was desperately trying to hold onto Ashlyn, as if she might never get the chance to hold her again. Ashlyn threw her arms around Ali’s shoulders and squeezed her back just as hard. “I can’t lose you.” Ali mumbled into Ashlyn’s chest, only making Ashlyn hold on tighter.

“You’re not losing me, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” Ashlyn pulled back and held Ali’s face in her hands. “I love you, Ali. I’m sorry for being so upset. Don’t doubt my love, even for a second, okay? No matter what happens, no matter what we decide to do here on out, I will be by your side.” Before Ali could respond, Ashlyn slammed their lips together with such urgency that it made Ali stumbled before Ashlyn could pull her back flush against her chest. Ali finally pulled back and looked into Ashlyn’s eyes with a mix of what Ashlyn could only equate to adoration and fear.

“Please stay. You can shower here and I’ll leave you alone to think. I just… I don’t want to be away from you.” As much as Ashlyn wanted to give in to Ali’s request, she needed to get home and spend some much needed time with her own thoughts. Not to mention, she desperately needed to talk this through with Kelley, the only person who could put things perfectly in perspective for Ashlyn.

“I want to stay, I do, but it’s best if I get home and deal with this now, rather than later. Plus I haven’t seen Tobin and Kelley in a few days and you know how Kelley always knows how to help me work through shit.” Ashlyn pulled Ali back into her embrace and held her there.

“You’re right. Whatever you need to do babe. Just call me later please? I don’t think I’ll be able to get much sleep tonight without you here.” Ali trailed off and squeezed Ashlyn around her waist.

“I’ll come back, don’t worry. It’s 5 now, so just give me a few hours. I’ll call you when I leave the house.” Ashlyn pulled back and kissed Ali’s cheek before releasing her hold on Ali and turning to her car. Once in the drivers seat she turned back to Ali and flashed a weak but reassuring smile. “We’ll be okay, love. Don’t worry. I’ll see you later.” With that, Ashlyn turned the key in the ignition and slowly pulled out of the driveway, looking back periodically at Ali in the rearview mirror as she drove off.

Once back at the house, she threw her things into her room and went directly to the bathroom, completely oblivious to the fact that the shower was already running. Without thinking, Ashlyn opened the door to the bathroom and stepped in before the screams of two people brought her back to reality.

“Ashlyn, what the fuck! Get the fuck out!” Tobin screamed, covering herself up with her hands while stepping in front of a very naked Alex Morgan. Ashlyn’s eyes shot open before she could cover them.

“Shit, Tobin! I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention! I’m gone, don’t mind me!” As Ashlyn turned to leave, with eyes still covered, she ran into the doorframe before finding the opening. She quickly shut the door behind her and exhaled. She looked up and saw Kelley peaking around the corner of her room. “I just…” Ashlyn couldn’t even form coherent sentences after what she just witnessed.

“You just walked in on Tobin and Alex taking a shower together… I’m very sorry, only not really because it’s already happened to me twice this weekend alone. They don’t really understand the concept of locking the door. Then again, maybe we should start knocking.” Kelley flashed Ashlyn her killer smile, which immediately relax Ashlyn. “You’re home, though!” Kelley crossed the room and pulled Ashlyn into a hug that she didn’t even know she needed.

“Yeah, thank god.” Ashlyn exhaled. Kelley pulled back quickly and gave Ashlyn a confused look.

“What’s wrong? From your texts it seemed like you were having a great time.”

“We did have a great time. Her family was amazing, and I don’t think Ali and I had even been closer, until shit hit the fan.” Ashlyn looked down at the ground and palmed at the back of her neck while the conversation she had with Laura came flooding back.

“Here, sit down at the counter. I’ll make us some hot chocolate and you can tell me everything.” And Ashlyn did just that. After being silence for the trip home, the words poured out of Ashlyn before she could stop them. She told Kelley about the fair and running into Laura. She told Kelley what Laura threatened to do and how it nearly made Ashlyn throw up. She told Kelley how her and Ali fought and how that did make Ashlyn throw up. She told Kelley everything, and left out nothing. By the end of it all, Kelley was wide-eyed and speechless, if only for a moment. It was only a short silence before Kelley was composed enough to give Ashlyn the advice she so desperately needed.

“I’m seriously going to kill Laura. That’s so fucked up that after all this time she wants to fuck up your life like this. I mean, you two barely dated! That’s messed up, man. I’ll take her out for you, I mean kill her, not date her. Gross.” Kelley chuckled and Ashlyn let out one of her own for the first time all afternoon. “Listen, I know it’s hard to understand where Ali is coming from here, but she needs to do what’s best for her career. This could really put everything she has worked so hard for at risk. You wouldn’t want that for her, would you?” Ashlyn simply shock her head in response. “I know you wouldn’t. You have to let her tell the dean, and if that means she no longer teaches at UNC then you’ll figure it out. Who knows, maybe he won’t care…”

“No, Kelley. He’s going to care. Remember that professor he fired last year that got caught sleeping with like, 3 different girls?”

“That’s totally different! He was a dog and a fucking creep. Ali isn’t with you because of some sick power trip and you know it. She loves you.” Ashlyn let those words sink in before nodding in agreement.

“You’re right, I know Alex loves me. I just got scared because she seemed so ready to just throw our relationship away without even a thought. I can’t imagine losing her, Kel. She means the world to me. It’s terrifying to think about being in a long distance relationship with her after having so much time together. It just doesn’t seem fair.” Ashlyn dropped her face into the palm of her hands and exhaled.

“It’s not fair, you’re right, but what you have seems like it could survive the distance. Would you really be willing to throw it all away because of a few measly miles?” It all seemed so simple the way Kelley put it, but Ashlyn knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

“It might not be a few miles. She could end up half way across the country for all I know. Hell she could end up all the way across the country. She would have to take whatever job she can get.”

“I know, Ash. It’s going to be hard, but I see how you are with her. I just wouldn’t want you to throw away this kind of happiness. It doesn’t come around all that often.” Kelley’s words echoed through Ashlyn’s brain. She was right. The love she shared with Ali was like nothing she had ever experience before. Even more than that, it was like nothing she had ever seen. How could she throw it all away because of distance? It was in that moment that Ashlyn realized that the only thing that mattered was the love they shared. If they had each other, they could get through anything. Ashlyn got up from the stool and rounded the corner of the counter to pull Kelley into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you, Kelley. You always know what to say. I love you for that.” Ashlyn squeezed harder and heard a couple bones in Kelley’s back crack and a squeak escape her lungs.

“I love you too, kid. But please don’t break me.” Kelley begged before Ashlyn released her and kissed her cheek. “Go get your girl, loser.” Ashlyn smiled and turned to walk away, but didn’t make it far before she felt Kelley slap her on the ass. Ashlyn turned back and smiled at her best friend. There was no one else in the world that knew Ashlyn better than Kelley, except maybe Ali at this point. But the way Kelley knew how to navigate the good and the bad with Ashlyn was everything she needed in a best friend. Ashlyn knew that there were so many times in her life that Kelley saved her or put her back together, and there was no way she could ever repay her. Ashlyn knew that someday, when Kelley needed her, she would be there for her undoubtable and unequivocally.

Ashlyn quickly grabbed a change of clothes for the night and ran out to her Jeep while texting Ali to tell her she was on her way back. She wasn’t sure she knew what to say, but she knew there was so much to be said. In the end, Ashlyn wasn’t about to let Ali go. There was no way in hell that this would end in a goodbye, because Ashlyn wasn’t going to let that happen, not now and hopefully not ever.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! An update! Sorry this had taken me a while. Life has been hectic and I've been a little stuck with the story. I know where I want to go with everything, it's just a matter of getting there I guess. This chapter is pretty long and I like how it turned out. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this one and let me know what you think is going to happen with the dean! Thank you!

After Ashlyn left, Ali brought in her bags from the car and collapsed on the couch. She sat there with her eyes closed just focusing on her breathing; feeling like it was the first time all day she had taken in a full breath. Moments later she was brought back to reality when she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. She quickly pulled it out, hoping it was Ashlyn, but couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at Pinoe’s name on the screen.

“Hey, Pinoe.” Ali said flatly.

“Hey, Al. Are you all right?” Pinoe responded, immediately able to read Ali through the phone. Ali cursed herself for being such an open book with those closest to her.

“Not really, shit kind of hit the fan.” Ali didn’t really feel like getting into the details now, but she knew Megan was probably going to squeeze it out of her.

“Care to explain? I’ve got some time to listen.” Megan always knew how to let Ali know she was there for her, no matter what. It was a quality Ali would never take for granted.

“Let’s just say I might lose my job. We ran into an ex of Ashlyn’s at this fair and she found out I was a professor. She threatened to tell the dean.” Ali exhaled loudly, frustrated by having to relive that moment.

“What the fuck? Jesus it’s not like you’re some pedophile. Ash is practically grown. This girl is obviously crazy.” Ali felt a small smile form on her lips in response to Pinoe’s protectiveness.

“She is crazy, but what’s worse is Ash and I got into a huge fight about it. She was upset because I wanted to tell the dean first and hopefully get ahead of it. She stormed off and would barely look at me the entire drive home. I was so worried I lost her.” Ali felt a few tears fall down her cheeks and quickly wiped them away.

“Oh jeez, Ali. I’m sorry. Where is she now?”

“She went home, but she’ll probably be back soon. We made up, kind of, but we still really need to talk about what’s next. I’m scared, but I still want to be on top of this. I just hope she can understand that and stand by me. She didn’t seem to keen on the idea of me having to teach somewhere else.” Ali trailed off, feeling her body start to heat up with anger at the situation.

“Al, can you blame her? No one _wants_ to be in a long distance relationship, but you guys seem strong. I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Talk through your game plan for the dean and then see what happens after that. Maybe you won’t even have to find a new job. In which case, the worries over the potential distance would be all for nothing.”

“You’re right, thank you. I think we just need to take this one step at a time. It is so stressful though. But thank you. You’re the best, Pinoe.”

“Oh you know I’m always here for you, Al. You’re my best friend and I’d do anything to protect you from pain, but I know you two will work this out and make it out together. Keep me posted thought.” Pinoe reassured Ali.

“I will. I love you!” Ali smiled at hearing Pinoe tell her she loved her right back and hung up the phone. A few moments later she saw a text from Ashlyn telling her she was on her way back. Ali immediately felt her muscles relax knowing Ashlyn would be back in her arms in a short time. She got up and went into the kitchen for a glass of water, finally realizing she hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since before they left the fair. She decided to quickly make some pasta for the two of them to share, since she figured Ashlyn hadn’t remembered to eat as well. A couple minutes later there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open!” Ali yelled around the corner. She listened while Ashlyn enter the house and made her way to the kitchen. “I’m making some pasta for us. I’m starving.” Ali said over her shoulder before she felt Ashlyn’s strong arms slip around her waist and pull her into her front.

“I’m so hungry, thank you babe.” Ashlyn said while leaving a trail of slow kisses down Ali’s neck. Ali tilted her head to give Ashlyn more space and felt her body melt into the blonde. Ali heard herself moan quietly at the contact while Ashlyn’s hands found Ali’s skin just under the hem of her shirt. Ali quickly turned around and slammed her lips into Ashlyn’s with all the force she could manage. It wasn’t until that moment that she realized maybe she wasn’t hungry for food after all. Ali’s hands found the collar of Ashlyn’s shirt and pulled her in hard, deepening the kiss. She felt Ashlyn’s lips curl into a smile and couldn’t help but smile back. Ashlyn pulled back and looked into Ali’s eyes before kissing her forehead.

“Excuse me, I wasn’t done with you.” Ali proclaimed while tugging Ashlyn back into her lips.

“Babe, the pasta. Why don’t you finish dinner, I’ll shower since I didn’t get a chance to at my house; I’ll tell you about that later” Ashlyn chuckled to herself, “and then we’ll eat and do whatever else you want to do.” Ashlyn winked and pulled on Ali’s hips.

“Or…” Ali trailed off. She leaned up on her toes until her lips were grazing Ashlyn’s ear. “I could fuck you like I want to right now, but in the shower, and then I’ll finish making dinner. I like that option better, don’t you?” Ali leaned back to see the look of surprise on Ashlyn’s face. Without a word, Ashlyn leaned around Ali and turned off the stove and then she grabbed her hands and dragged her upstairs to the bathroom. Once at the top of the stairs, Ashlyn grabbed Ali by her hips and slammed her into the hallway wall and stared down at her through hooded eyes.

“You never stop surprising me, you know that? Just when I think I’ve got you figured out, you say shit like that and send me reeling. I seriously love that about you.” Ali smiled up at the blonde. She found the hem of Ashlyn’s shirt and ran her hands up Ashlyn’s abs slowly, feeling the muscles contract underneath her touch. Ali slowly dragged her nails down Ashlyn’s torso, all while keeping eye contact with Ashlyn, and watching how much it was making her squirm.

“I think I would love you more right now if you took these clothes off.” Ali smirked and pushed Ashlyn back a step. She quickly pulled off her own shirt and unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Ashlyn’s eye brows shot up again while she watched Ali shimmy out of her pants and underwear, leaving herself completely naked in front of the blonde. After a moment, Ashlyn finally snapped out of her trance and ripped her own clothes off while following a determined Ali into the bathroom. Ali turned around while turning on the shower and felt her stomach flip at the sight in front of her. “That’s more like it.” She took a couple steps across the bathroom until her body was flush with Ashlyn’s. She loved the way their bodies always melted together perfectly and tonight was no exception.

“You’re so beautiful, Alex. And I’m so in love with you.” Ashlyn leaned down and captured Ali’s lips with her own. The kiss was laced with all the sentiment of Ashlyn’s statement and Ali felt it in her bones. She pulled back and placed her hand on Ashlyn’s cheek.

“I’m head over heels in love with you, Ash. You’re everything I want and more. You’re everything I need in this life. As long as I have you, I know I can take on anything.” Ali watched as a smile took over Ashlyn’s face and Ali felt her own smile form as well. Ashlyn looked down at their naked bodies pressed together before lifting Ali up onto the bathroom counter and situating herself between Ali’s legs. “What, did you just now remember that I said I wanted to fuck you?” Ali said with a smirk.

“How could I forget that? But I think you deserve something first.” Ali watched as Ashlyn dropped to her knees in front of Ali’s center and smile up at the brunette. Ali’s entire body was set on fire with anticipation while she leaned back on her hands without breaking eye contact with the blonde. Ashlyn kissed her way up Ali’s thigh just before leaning in and taking Ali’s already throbbing clit in her mouth. Ali threw her head back at the contact and bucked her hips into Ashlyn’s mouth immediately.

“Fuck.” Ali exclaimed. She felt every flick of Ashlyn’s tongue with such intensity that should could barely keep herself upright. Ashlyn continued to keep her attention on Ali’s clit while her fingers explored the rest of Ali soaking wet center. Ali’s hands found their way to Ashlyn’s hair and quickly ended up tangled together while Ali pulled Ashlyn deeper into her. Ashlyn suddenly slammed two fingers inside the brunette, causing Ali to scream out her name; Ashlyn was sure the neighbors heard that one, which only spurred her on more. She continued to suck on Ali’s clit while her fingers worked their way in and out, hard and fast.

“You taste so good, Alex.” Ashlyn spoke against Ali’s clit, sending shivers through her entire body. The vibrations from her words almost made Ali come undone right then.

“Babe, kiss me please.” Ali begged while tugging on the blonde’s hair. Ashlyn was on her feet with her lips on Ali’s in seconds. She slid her arm around Ali for support and quickened the pace of her fingers, feeling Ali’s walls start to tighten around her. Ashlyn curled her fingers to send Ali over the edge and tightened her grip around Ali’s waist. “Oh my god, baby. Don’t stop.” Ali threw her arms around Ashlyn’s shoulders and buried her face into Ashlyn’s neck to muffle her screams. After a few choice words and screams, Ashlyn slowed her pace and helped Ali ride out her orgasm before sliding her fingers out and licking them clean. “Holy shit” was all Ali could manage at the time, so she just pulled Ashlyn tighter against her chest and wrapped her legs around the blonde.

“That was fun, huh?” Ashlyn chucked and Ali nodded into Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn slid her hands under Ali’s ass and lifted her up and walked them both into the shower. After a few minutes of kissing and laughing, Ali released her legs from their grip around Ashlyn’s waist and gently pushed her until her back was against the wall.

“I think it’s your turn now, stud.” Ali said with a smirk while she ran her fingers down Ashlyn’s chest and stomach.

“Stud? That’s a new one, but I think I like it.” Ashlyn slid her hands over Ali’s hips and tugged her closer. Ali leaned in and grazed her lips against Ashlyn’s, but pulled back when Ashlyn tried to close the gap.

“I think I want to tease you a little bit.” Ali said with a devilish grin.

“Oh hell no.” Ashlyn grabbed Ali’s hands and pushed her fingers against her already dripping folds. Ali’s eyebrows shot up and she let out a chuckle.

“Damn, baby. You’re ready for me, aren’t you?” Ali leaned in and left open mouthed kisses along Ashlyn’s neck and slowly started rubbing circles against Ashlyn’s clit.

“Getting you off does that to me, every fucking time.” Ashlyn’s hips bucked into Ali’s hands, begging for more contact.

“Good.” Ali kissed her way down Ashlyn’s chest and stopped to take one of Ashlyn’s nipples between her lips. Ashlyn tilted her head back and let out a moan while running her fingers through Ali’s hair. Ali continued to rub Ashlyn’s center while leaving a trail of wet kissing down Ashlyn’s tight stomach. Ali stopped at Ashlyn’s hips and left a mark on Ashlyn’s most sensitive area. Ali finally got down on her knees and lifted Ashlyn’s leg up onto the edge of the shower for more access. Ali lightly ran her tongue through Ashlyn’s folds, then leaned back and looked up at the blonde.

“Don’t fucking tease me, babe. I’m already so close from just fucking you. I need you, now.” Ashlyn pulled Ali by her hair to bring her point home, and Ali obeyed. She took Ashlyn’s clit between her lips and sucked hard while she pushed two fingers inside the blonde’s center. “Fuck.” Ashlyn said loudly, making Ali quicken the pace of her fingers. She continued to flick her tongue against Ashlyn’s clit and she could feel Ashlyn’s center tighten already. Ali slammed her fingers into Ashlyn and with a single curl of her fingertips, Ashlyn was unraveling right there before here. “Alex, holy fuck!” Ashlyn yelled, with her head tilted back on the shower wall and her fingers tangled in the brunette’s hair. Ali leaned back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before rising up and kissing Ashlyn hard.

“Now _that_ was fun.” Ali smiled against Ashlyn’s lips. Ashlyn nodded and continued to kiss Ali, unable to form coherent sentences just yet.

After a shower full of kisses and laughs, the two dried off, put on t-shirts and sweats, and headed downstairs to continue making dinner. Ashlyn insisted on cooking for Ali, and Ali decided to check on a few things for school the next day. She had almost forgot about the events that had transpired that day, but it all came crashing down when she saw an email from the dean requesting a meeting with her tomorrow morning.

“Ash…” Ali trailed off and took a deep breath. “The dean wants to meet with me tomorrow.” Ali watched as Ashlyn froze and when she didn’t say a work, Ali continued. “Laura probably got to him. I’m going to need to be honest, babe. I hope that’s okay with you.” Ashlyn turned around and crossed the room. She pulled out a chair and sat in front of Ali with a hand on Ali’s knee. She squeezed her knee and flashed a reassuring smile at Ali.

“Whatever you need to do, I’ll support you. I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t there for you. I just got so scared about possibly losing you, but I know now that distance doesn’t matter. Wherever you end up, I’ll do my best to be there with you as much as possible. I honestly believe we could make it through anything life throws our way.” Ashlyn smiled her dimpled smile, immediately melting Ali’s heart. Ali reached up and placed her hand on Ashlyn’s cheek.

“Thank you, Ashlyn. That means to world to me to hear you say that. It’s just the smartest option. We’ll just take this once step at a time. Who knows, maybe I won’t have to go teach somewhere else. Either way, thank you for being here to support me. I love you so much, baby.” Ali leaned in and kissed Ashlyn lightly.

“I love you, Alex, to the moon and back.” They kissed again before leaning their foreheads together and sitting in silence for a moment. Finally, the two were on the same page. Ali knew Ashlyn was sincere about being there for her no matter what, and Ashlyn knew Ali was doing this for their relationship, and for no other reason but that. Their love for each other had only grown in the last day, despite the challenges being thrown their way, and the two believe that if they could make it through this, then they could make it through anything. As long as they had each other, anything was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW! I'm going to the Washington Spirit vs Seattle Reign match this Saturday!!!!!!! Can you tell I'm a little fucking excited? Let's hope I don't make a fool of myself if I get the chance to meet Ashlyn and Ali. Holy fuck I'm gonna die. Wish me luck! :]


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for the delay. Thank you so much for continuing to support this story, we still have a long way to go! I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't hate me too much... Keep the feedback coming! I may not reply but I read and appreciate every comment!

Ashlyn woke up the next morning with Ali tucked into her side. She pressed her lips against the sleeping brunette’s forehead and pulled her closer. It was mornings like this, so peaceful and quiet, that Ashlyn loved the most. With Ali still sleeping, she was able to think about the weekend and how it had gone from amazing to absolutely horrible in no time at all. She thought about how meeting Ali’s family was both nerve wracking and rewarding, and how she had felt so unbelievably welcomed from the very beginning; that feeling of family was something Ashlyn would never take for granted, no matter what form it came in.

Then Ashlyn thought about Laura and how heartbreaking it was that someone who, at one time, claimed to love her was now ready to ruin her. _Time really does change things_ , Ashlyn thought. This realization made her think about Ali, and how time wasn’t always a bad thing because it had brought them together, but what if that wasn’t the case some day? What if time ended up changing them too? Dwelling on the future and the uncontrollable wasn’t something Ashlyn normally did, nor did she like to do it, but there was something about her relationship with Ali that made her constantly think about her future, as an individual, and also as part of this relationship with Ali. A lot of things in life are unpredictable, and Ashlyn knew this all too well, but she at least hoped that her relationship with Ali wasn’t something that had a due date. Ironically, only time would tell.

Ashlyn felt Ali begin to stir against her side and watched as she blinked her eyes to adjust to the sun seeping through the blinds. _Damnit, she is so cute._

“Good morning, beautiful.” Ashlyn whispered against Ali’s forehead. Ali rubbed her face into Ashlyn’s chest and mumbled her good morning in response. “Hungry? I’ll make us pancakes if you’d like.”

“Pancakes sound amazing, but I so don’t want to get out of bed yet.” Ali looked up at Ashlyn with sleepy puppy dog eyes. Ashlyn laughed, knowing exactly what Ali wanted from her.

“I’ll go make the pancakes and we can eat in bed, babe.” Ashlyn slipped out of Ali’s grasp and out of bed. She quickly threw on a t-shirt and shorts before heading downstairs to make breakfast.

“You’re the best!” Ali called out after her. Ashlyn smiled to herself and gathers the ingredients.

Once Ashlyn had everything set up on a tray, she brought the food upstairs and made her way back into Ali’s bedroom. She walked into the room and saw Ali, completely naked, leaning back on her elbows, waiting for Ashlyn to return.

“Babe, you couldn’t put some clothes on?” Ashlyn chucked, not that she was really complaining.

“I thought maybe you’d like the view.” Ali smirked up at Ashlyn before scooting up the bed and leaning against the headboard.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. You’re a pretty spectacular view.” Ashlyn placed the tray of food down over Ali’s lap and sat next to her on her side of the bed. They enjoyed their meal together, talking about nothing in particular. They both knew the other was avoiding the elephant in the room, so neither brought up Ali’s meeting with the dean scheduled for later that day.

It was now around 9 in the morning. Ali and Ashlyn were dressed and ready to head out to campus for their day of classes.

“Can’t we just play hooky and spend the day in bed together?” Ashlyn asked while walking Ali to her car.

“I know babe, I don’t want to go either, but I have that meeting with the dean. I just want to get it all over with.” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand, calming her down a bit.

“Call me after okay? I’ll answer even if I’m in class, okay? I’ll just go in the hall.” Ashlyn wrapped her free arm around Ali’s waist and pulled her close.

“I don’t approve of that, but I’ll call anyway.” Ali smiled, lifting the mood a bit. Ashlyn leaned her forehead against Ali’s and let out a deep breath. “It’s going to be okay, Ashlyn. No matter what happens, we’ll figure it out together.” Ali squeezed Ashlyn’s hand once more, and Ashlyn felt it calm her down again.

“I know, I know. I’m just going to be on edge all day till this meeting. We’ll see if I can concentrate at all in class.” Ali leaned back and put her hand on Ashlyn’s cheek before leaving a soft kiss against her lips.

“Just do your best, beautiful. After the day is over, we can come back here and I’ll make us some steak and we’ll watch a funny movie, okay?” Ali flashed Ashlyn a smile that always sent her heart racing and Ashlyn nodded.

“I love you, Alex.” Ashlyn leaned in and kissed Ali hard before opening Ali’s car door for her.

“I love you too. See you later, stud!” Ali said while shutting her car door. Ashlyn laughed to herself at the nickname again and walked over to her car. She watched Ali drive away and took a deep breath before doing the same. _Today is going to be a long day_ , Ashlyn thought. And she was right about that…

\----------------------------------------------------

For Ali, her day was moving just as slowly as she had anticipated, if not slower. Her classes dragged on and she was becoming less and less patient with students and their questions. It was finally her last class before her meeting with the dean and she just couldn’t stand being in front of students any longer, so she decided to wrap up her lecture early.

“Alright, guys. That’s it for today. I’ll let you out early for once; so don’t take it for granted! Enjoy your day.” She packed up her things and decided to just go to the dean’s office early and wait. There was no use doing anything else at this point; waiting any longer was just going to drive her even crazier.

“Hi, I’m Ali Krieger, I’m here to meet with the dean at…” Ali looked down at her watch and saw just how early she was. “3. I know I’m early, so I’ll just wait over there.”

“Sure, just take a seat. I’ll let him know you’re here.” Ali nodded and smiled at the secretary appreciatively and turned to find a seat. She stared down at her hands in her lap and finally let herself think about what she would tell the dean. She had no idea what he knew and what he didn’t know. She was hopeful that, by some miracle, he called this meeting for another reason entirely, but Ali wasn’t naive, she knew what this meeting was about and knew she wouldn’t have time to wait and find out if he did or didn’t know the truth. She ran through all of the possible scenarios in her head and decided that she would be honest and make sure he understood that her intentions were to never do anything harmful to the reputation of the school. She looked up just as the secretary entered the room and her mind went blank.

“He’s actually ready for you now, if you’d like to go in early.” The secretary gestured toward the door she had just walked through. Ali stood up and nodded, again, unable to actually form words due to the nerves keeping her voice box from functioning. Her feet finally listened to her brain, which at this point was screaming for her to start walking. She made her way through the huge double doors and saw two men sitting in a seating area to the right of the dean’s desk.

“Dr. Krieger, thank you for joining us. Please, have a seat.” The dean pointed toward a chair opposite him and the other man who was watching Ali intently. Ali quickly sat down and forced herself to regain her composure. She needed to speak first, before the dean got any ideas by her silence thus far.

“Thank you, Mr. Campbell. Before we start, I would really just like to get something off my chest first.”

“Please, call me Jeremy, but go ahead.” Ali felt herself calm down a bit at his request. First names were definitely informal, _maybe this wasn’t why he called the meeting,_ but Ali quickly shoved that idea out of her mind and continued.

“I don’t know the reason for this meeting, however I think I have a pretty good idea. This past weekend I was home visiting my family, and I brought along my girlfriend to meet everyone, and um, she happens to actually to be a student here at UNC; one of my students.” Ali paused and took a deep breath. She didn’t notice any surprise in the dean’s face or in the other mans face, so she continued. “We ended up running into someone who was not thrilled by our relationship and I’m assuming she came to you, and that’s why we are here. I completely understand that professor-student relationships are frowned upon and I want to reassure you that it was not my intention to do anything that could jeopardize this university’s excellent reputation. I hope you understand that.”

“Well, Ali, may I call you Ali?” Ali quickly nodded at the dean. “You are correct to assume that that is the reason for this meeting. It came to my attention that you were discovered to be fraternizing with a student and I wanted to see you as soon as possible to get down to the truth.” Ali cringed at his words and felt her mouth go dry. “I appreciate your honesty in all this and I understand that your intentions were not to cause trouble for the university. However, this is still a problem that absolutely needs to be addressed.” He turned to the man next to him and nodded.

“Dr. Krieger, my name is Stanley Wilson, and I am an attorney for this university. Jeremy brought me into this meeting to discuss with you the implications of your relationship with Ashlyn Harris.” _Fuck, this is bad,_ Ali thought. “When you signed your contract to take on your position here at UNC, you also signed a clause that states as followed; Faculty members shall not engage in consensual relationships with students whenever a faculty member has a professional "position of authority" with respect to the student in such matters as teaching a course or in otherwise evaluating, supervising, or advising a student as part of a school program. Should a consensual relationship develop, or appear likely to develop, while the faculty member is in a position of authority, the faculty member and/or the student shall terminate the position of authority. Even when the faculty member has no professional responsibility for a student, the faculty member should be sensitive to the perceptions of other students that a student who has a consensual relationship with a faculty member may receive preferential treatment from the faculty member or the faculty member's colleagues.” The attorney paused and looked at Ali, who was completely unable to function at this point. “Unfortunately, Dr. Krieger, in this situation, it is not as simple as terminating your position of authority now that a third party has come forward to express concern about this relationship. This person felt as though you were manipulating Ashlyn Harris in some way, due to your position of power. In this case, due to the circumstances, you will no longer be able to teach here at UNC.” Ali’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. She immediately felt like she was going to throw up at his words but swallowed it down, not wanting to embarrass herself any further. Before Ali could even come up with a response to let them know she was in no way manipulating Ashlyn, the attorney continued.

“Dr. Krieger, we understand that this is a lot to accept, and we hope that you will be professional throughout this process; it is not an easy one for anyone involved, we can assure you.”

“I… It’s hard to come up with anything to say here, but of course I will be professional. I’m sorry I allowed this to happen, honestly.” Ali was beginning to doubt all her decisions pertaining to her career and even, at this point, her relationship with Ashlyn. “I do apologize for putting you both in this awful situation and I guarantee there was no form of manipulation involved here.” Ali looked down at her hands and felt her eyes start to water; she wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to hold herself together.

“Ali, you have accomplished a lot for your age and I find that commendable. You are intelligent, gifted, and _young_. You have your entire career ahead of you and I hope that you learn from your mistakes, more than anything. I see great things for you and I want to assist you in securing another position after all of this. Not here at UNC, of course, but I will do anything I can to put in a good word for you wherever you decide to go.” Ali looked up and saw the seriousness housed in the dean’s eyes. For the first time since stepping foot in that room, Ali felt a rush of relief come over her. _Maybe this wasn’t the end of the world, maybe I’ll be alright after all_ , Ali thought to herself.

“Dr. Krieger, beyond the termination of your position here at UNC, we also require that you do not contact Ashlyn Harris. Relationship or not, there is serious grounds for a lawsuit here from any of the parties involved, and due to your breach of contract, we require you to sign a form that says you are in agreement with this to avoid any further issues or lawsuits in the future.” The attorney finished and handed over a sheet of paper, which Ali assumed was this form he mentioned. If Ali felt like she was going to throw up before, she was surely about to lose it now. She had no idea this was going to be so serious; she had no idea that going into that office would change her life in so many ways. She was hopeful, sure, but of all the scenarios her mind was able to come up with, this one was unimaginable.

“I don’t think I can sign this. Whatever the consequences may be, I’ll deal with, but I can’t sign this.” Ali looked up at the attorney and handed him the form.

“Ali, you don’t want to not sign that form. I’ve seen this play out many times in the past and I do not want to see your fate become the same fate of many who have found themselves in your shoes before. Please sign the form. I want to help you, we are trying to help you, but you absolutely must help yourself first. I don’t know the seriousness of your relationship with Ashlyn Harris, but I can assure you that your career is what is most important here. If you do not sign this form, and this is not a threat, it is strictly factual information, UNC will expel Ashlyn Harris, which will go on her permanent record, and UNC will sue you for your breach of contract. Both situations are fully avoidable if you sign this form and cease all contact with Ashlyn Harris.” _Expulsion?_ Ali thought to herself. At this point, the tears were flowing freely and Ali wasn’t doing anything to stop them. Her life, as she knew it, would never be the same.

Just that morning, she was having breakfast with her girlfriend, whom she loved and adored more than anything. Ashlyn had so quickly become a part of Ali’s everyday life, but even more than this, Ashlyn had become a part of Ali. She didn’t want to deal with the potential lawsuit, but most of all, she couldn’t imagine destroying Ashlyn’s college career. Ashlyn was so close to being finished and being expelled was not going to lead to any type of success in Ashlyn’s life. Above all else, Ali wanted Ashlyn to have a good life and she wanted her to be happy. Before Ali could think any longer on the subject, she found herself signing her name on the form, but it felt more like she was signing away a part of herself; a part of herself that would always remain with Ashlyn, no matter what.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... Sorry for the wicked long delay between chapters. It was gotten super hard for me to find the time and energy to sit down and write this, but I did it and I will keep doing it! I promise! Thank you so much for sticking with me and reading every update I give you guys. This was a hard chapter to write and I know it will be just as difficult to read. Keep that feedback coming! I love hearing from you guys and I love the support. Thanks again! Enjoy.

By the end of the afternoon, Ashlyn was bouncing off the walls with anticipation. Ali hadn’t called her after her meeting with the dean and it was making Ashlyn increasingly nervous. She didn’t want to call in case she interrupted something, so she decided to shoot Ali a text.

 **Ashlyn:** Hey beautiful! Just checking in. Let me know how everything went today. The suspense is killing me…

Ashlyn sat in her car for a few minutes waiting on a reply, but when one never came, she started on her way back to her house. Hopefully Kelley and Tobin were home so she could talk to someone about this.

Thankfully, they were home, but as soon as Ashlyn walked through the front door and saw distressed looks on both of her friends’ faces, she wished she were anywhere but there.

“What’s going on, guys?” Ashlyn asked, searching back in forth between the two of them for some kind of answer.

“Ash, come here, sit down.” Kelley sat on the couch and waited for Ashlyn to reluctantly sit next to her. Ashlyn’s stomach was in knots and her whole body was going numb. _What the hell is going on,_ she thought. “Listen, Ali came by…”

“What?! When?!” Ashlyn interrupted before Kelley could finish.

“About an hour ago. She was completely distraught, Ash. What happened today?” Kelley put her hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder and waiting for Ashlyn to pull herself together.

“She had a meeting with the dean this afternoon, but we didn’t think it was going to be too bad. Wait, you saw her. Why are you asking me? I haven’t even heard from her yet.”

“I know, but she just dropped something off. She didn’t even say more then a couple words.” Tobin walked over and sat down next to Ashlyn and handed her an envelope with a letter inside.

“She gave this to us to give to you. She didn’t seem too happy about it. She told us to make sure you’re okay after you read it, so we’re not going anywhere.” Tobin assured Ashlyn. As soon as and Ashlyn took the envelope from Tobin’s hands, her heart shattered into a million pieces. Whatever the letter said, whatever this was, was surely going to ruin any sort of composure Ashlyn was maintaining at this point. Nothing good would come of this letter.

“I… I don’t think I can read this.” Ashlyn felt a few tears slowly roll down her cheeks. Kelley pulled Ashlyn into her and held her tight.

“You have to read this, Ash. We’re right here for you.” Kelley released Ashlyn and she took a deep breath before opening the letter and starting to read it.

_Dear Ashlyn,_

_This is the hardest, most difficult decision I have ever made, and likely will ever make. I’m sorry I haven’t called or texted you, but you’ll understand once you read this letter, I hope. My meeting with the dean was a lot more serious than we had anticipated. He did already know about our relationship and he even had a lawyer there with him. I was told that I violated a clause in my teaching contract that stated I would be terminated if I pursued a relationship with a student. Unfortunately, I was fired, but that isn’t even the worst of it. The lawyer also explained that I would need to cut off all contact with you to insure that UNC’s reputation remains a positive one, and also to avoid lawsuits for all involved. Baby, I didn’t want to sign that form. I couldn’t imagine any consequence bad enough to lose you, to lose the love of my life. But then they told me you would be expelled and I didn’t have to imagine it because it would become a reality. I’m sorry, Ashlyn. I’m sorry I signed the form because I have lost you forever, but I’m not sorry I signed the form because you deserve the future you want and I don’t think I could live with myself if I took that away from you. I’m sorry I let this happen, baby. I need you to know that this is not easy for me and I need you to please respect the decision I’ve made. Do not contact me, please. Just let this work itself out and maybe someday we will see each other again; someday when you’re done with school and settled down, but please don’t wait for me. Live your life and enjoy this time while you can. You’re going to do great things, my love. Just keep your head up and please, as impossible as it feels right now, please try to move on._

_I don’t know where I’ll end up once this all shakes out, but the dean has offered to help me secure a position anywhere I decide to go, so that’s comforting. Please don’t try and look for me. This is hard enough as it is and believe me, I am going to miss you so much, but I can’t let your future change because of me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. You’re an incredible person, Ashlyn Michelle Harris. Please don’t let this stop you from living out your greatest dreams. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone, and that won’t even change. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do and please thank Kelley and Tobin for looking after you for me. And Ashlyn, please don’t blame yourself. I know you, and I know how your mind works. Just try not to blame yourself. Try to find some kind of normalcy again. At least try of me? I know I don’t deserve it, but just try._

_I love you, Ashlyn. My heart will always be yours. Thank you for loving me._

_Always yours,_

_Alex Krieger_

As soon as Ashlyn was finished with the letter, she placed it on the coffee table, got up from the couch, grabbed her keys and walked right out the door. She didn’t even hear Kelley and Tobin yelling for her to come back. She ran to her jeep and just started driving. Nothing was making sense in her mind, all she knew was that this wasn’t it for them, and she needed to see Ali.

Back at Ali’s house, she was rushing to pack up a few things to go stay with her mom for a little while, while she got her life back together. She knew it was only a matter of time before Ashlyn would show up at her door, demanding answers. It didn’t matter that she asked Ashlyn to stay away, she had a feeling Ashlyn didn’t even register that part of the letter. Ali ran downstairs with her bag and grabbed some snacks from the kitchen for the drive, when she heard a knock at her door. _Shit,_ she thought she had more time than that. She knew Ashlyn had a spare key and she was bound to come in regardless of if Ali let her or not. Ali looked through the peephole and let out a deep breath of relief. She quickly opened the door.

“Pinoe. Thank god its you.” Ali pulled her friend into a strong hug and felt calm as soon as she wrapped her arms around her.

“Well I came as soon as you called. What the hell is going on?” Pinoe pulled back and Ali felt her heartbreak at the concern written all over her friends face.

“I got fired and I can’t see Ashlyn anymore.” As soon as the words left Ali’s mouth, the tears that she had been holding at bay began to fall. It was the first time she had said this out loud and it was only becoming more real by the second.

“What the fuck do you mean? That’s some bullshit. They can’t stop you from seeing her. You’re both adults!” Pinoe quickly noticed Ali’s bag and realized she was really leaving. “Where are you going? This is ridiculous.”

“I have to go, Megan. I’m going to stay with my mom for a bit. Ashlyn is going to be here any second, I know it. I can’t be here when she comes. I just can’t face her like this. They told me she would get expelled if I continued the relationship or even talked to her again. I can’t be the reason her future gets all fucked up, I just cant. Please understand.” Ali pulled Pinoe into another hug and broke down in her arms.

“Okay, okay. Relax, Al. I understand. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Whatever you need from me, I’m there.”

“Would you just stay here and wait for Ashlyn to come? Please don’t tell her where I’m going. Just… just tell her I love her. Tell her this is what we have to do. Tell her I’m so sorry. I wrote her a note saying this, but I need her to know I mean it. If she hates me for this then maybe that’s for the best, but I still need her to know that she will always have my heart.” Ali sobbed into Megan’s shoulder, tears running freely now.

“Oh, Ali. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, the both of you. I will stay here and tell her, don’t worry. I’ll try to get it through to her. Just go, okay? Call me, text me, whatever you need, I will do anything for you, Kriegy. I love you.”

“I love you so much, thank you for being such an amazing friend. I will keep in touch, don’t worry. Take care of her, please? And make sure her friends are there too.” Ali quickly grabbed her things and headed out to her car.

“Drive safely, Al! Call me when you get there.” Pinoe yelled from the porch.

“Of course. Thanks again, Pinoe.” Ali waved and peeled out of her driveway and started on her way to her mom’s house. She had some hours to decompress before she reached her destination and she knew this was only the beginning of a journey she never thought she would have to take. This was a journey she never wanted for herself, or Ashlyn, but it was happening. This was now her reality. More than anything she just wanted the best for Ashlyn. More than anything she just wanted this nightmare of a day to be over. Even with her mind so consumed by thoughts of what her next steps were and where she would go next, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ashlyn and how difficult this was going to be for her. Her heart broke for the love of her life; it shattered into a million little pieces.

Not even 5 minutes after Ali left, Ashlyn pulled into her driveway and ran frantically to the front door. She used her key to get in without knocking, but she could tell the house wasn’t empty. She only hoped it was Ali.

“Alex!” Ashlyn ran into the kitchen and saw Megan sitting at the table, clearly waiting for Ashlyn.

“Megan, where is she!?” Ashlyn rounded the corner into the living room and still saw no sign of Ali.

“Ash, she’s not her. Please just come sit down.” Megan pleaded. Ashlyn reluctantly stopped searching and sat across from Pinoe.

“What… What do you mean she’s not here? She has to be here. This isn’t it for us.” Ashlyn dropped her face into her hands. She left Pinoe reach across the table and wrap her hand around Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“She had to leave, Ash. She knew you were going to come here and she couldn’t bear to see you like this. She wanted me to tell you she loves you, with all her heart, okay? And that she is so sorry for doing this to you. She never meant to hurt you; I know she didn’t. She only hopes that you can respect that this was her only option and that she had no choice.” Ashlyn knew Megan was only trying to help, but she immediately felt a wave of anger crash over her.

“No choice?” Ashlyn pulled out of Megan’s grasp and shot up from the chair, sending it falling to the floor. “No fucking choice? She had a choice! She could have stayed and talked to me. She could have found a way to stay with me. This is bullshit, Pinoe, and you know it too! Christ, I’m fucking graduating in a few months. How could she just leave like this!” Ashlyn was breaking; all her resolve, all her hope, was slowly becoming nonexistent and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her.

“Ash, please. You know Ali didn’t make this decision lightly. You know she never meant to hurt you. It was this or your future, Ashlyn. She did this for you.” Ashlyn knew Pinoe was saying this to somehow get through to her that this was the best path for the both of them, but the thought only made Ashlyn angrier.

“For me! HA! She didn’t do this for me, Pinoe. Her precious career was on the fucking line. She clearly didn’t give a shit about how this was going to hurt me, because guess what! I’m fucking furious. This is fucking bullshit. She didn’t do this for me. She did this for herself.” Right as the words left Ashlyn’s mouth, she realized how wrong she really was about Ali. Maybe she never really loved Ashlyn, and maybe Ashlyn never really knew her at all.

“Ashlyn you know that’s not true. She cared about you more than I have ever seen her care about anyone or anything, including her career. She was told you would be expelled if she kept in contact with you. Expelled! She couldn’t stand being the reason behind that. You know she would never be able to live with herself if that happened to you. She cared, Ash. Don’t you even say she didn’t!” Pinoe yelled back, making Ashlyn in her anger. Ashlyn stepped back and looked down at the ground.

“I’m… I know, I’m sorry. I want to believe she cared; I want to believe she loved me, but what if she didn’t? Maybe this was just her out.” Ashlyn could feel her chest tighten at the thought. She looked up and was met with a sympathetic looking Pinoe.

“You and I both know that that is not true. That’s not how Ali operates. She loves you, wholeheartedly. As hard as it is for you to believe, she did this for you. It was the only option in her mind and you know she would have fought if there were another option. This was it, Ash. There was nothing else she could have done.” Pinoe crossed the room and pulled Ashlyn into her arms. That was it; that was all it took for Ashlyn to finally break down into a blubbering, uncontrollable mess. Ashlyn felt her knees buckle and Pinoe slowly brought her down to her knees and held her tightly while she sobbed.

This feeling of loss was greater than anything Ashlyn had ever felt before. Even greater than losing her childhood pet, and even greater than losing her father. In those times, there had been nothing Ashlyn could do to bring them back; there was no way to move on, but to recognize that they were dead and that was her reality. But this time was different. Ali wasn’t dead; she was out there, just out of Ashlyn’s reach. Instead of getting used to the idea that she was just not a living breathing person anymore, Ashlyn now had to get used to the idea of Ali living her life, a new life, without Ashlyn by her side; and that was worse than losing her all together. This reality was worse than anything Ashlyn could have ever imagined.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Turn around was a bit quicker this time, but this was certainly not easy to write. So I'm just going to leave this here and hope you guys don't hate me. I promise, we aren't done yet and the angst is only temporary. Please stay with me! I love the feedback and all the love. Keep it coming! Thanks again.

Ever since Ashlyn was little, she had experienced hard times and heartbreak. Whether it was family troubles, friendship drama, or relationship struggles, Ashlyn has been through it all. Some days Ashlyn viewed the most difficult events from her past as defining moments; moments that sculpted her and made her the person she was. But some days Ashlyn felt like her life was cursed. It was as if she committed some horrible, unforgivable sin in a past life and now she was paying for it.

Ashlyn was never able to understand how she deserved the mess that was her life and after every single tragedy, and yes there were many, she questioned every decision she had made prior to see what she did to deserve such a fate. The loss of the love of her life, or who she thought was the love of her life, was no different. For days or weeks, who knows, she lost track of time, Ashlyn practically mourned the loss of her girlfriend. She spent days in bed, only getting up to shower when Kelley or Tobin, or both, dragged her to the bathroom. She stopped going to classes and she stopped caring about everything all together. She made herself sick from crying more times than she could even count, but Kelley and Tobin counted. Her best friends feared the worst and took turns keeping an eye on Ashlyn. They each split up tasks and homework assignments to keep Ashlyn up to date in order to graduate. They knew, well they hoped, that Ashlyn would eventually come back from this heartbreak and realize what a mistake she made by screwing up her final year of college, so they did what they had to do and took care of their best friend in any way they knew how.

It wasn’t until 3 weeks after Ali left that Ashlyn finally said even a word to her best friends. She got up to get a snack from the kitchen, another first, and Kelley and Tobin looked at her like she was a lion and they were caught in her den. Ashlyn looked up and saw them staring at her with wide eyes.

“What?” She asked, clearly annoyed.

“N-Nothing, just surprised to see you up. We’re ordering pizza in a few if you want some. I’ll order your favorite.” Kelley said, eagerly. Tobin elbowed her lightly, as if to say calm down, you’ll scare her away, and Kelley backed off a bit.

“Sure, why not. I could go for some pizza. I can’t remember the last time I had a real meal.” Ashlyn realizes as she says this that it was probably the last meal she had with Ali and this makes her want to curl into a ball immediately, but she stands tall. She needs to get better; she needs to be better. If one of her friends were acting the way she’s acting, she knows she would be kicking their ass into gear, but she also knows her friends are just worried and probably too nice for that.

“It’s okay, Ash. You’re doing what you have to do. But I’m glad,” Tobin looks at Kelley and continues, “we’re glad you’re feeling a bit better. So pizza and beer?” Tobin smiles at Ashlyn and Ashlyn can’t help but return the gesture.

“Sure, Tobs. Pizza and beer sounds perfect. I’m going to shower. I’m sure I smell wonderful and you guys are just too nice to say anything.

“Oh no, you’re-“ Kelley is stopped by Tobin’s hand over her mouth.

“Yes, shower. You reek.” Tobin laughs and for the first time in weeks, Ashlyn laughs too.

 

A couple days later, Ashlyn finally felt up to going to her classes. Thankfully, Kelley had emailed all of her professors and told them Ashlyn had appendicitis and needed emergency surgery and since her best friends were keeping up with her assignments, Ashlyn wasn’t too far behind.

It wasn’t until the next day that Ashlyn started to feel that wave of dread wash over her again. She was doing well, up until it was time to go to Ali’s class. Of course, Ashlyn knew Ali wouldn’t be there, but maybe that’s why Ashlyn’s heart felt like it was about to beat right out of her chest. For about 20 minutes, Ashlyn sat in her Jeep trying to breathe slowly and calm her heart down, but it was no use. The more Ashlyn thought about walking into that classroom, the more panicked she became. This wasn’t the first time Ashlyn had experienced a panic attack; she was all too familiar with them, to be honest.

When she was just 9 years old, just after her grandfather passed away, she had one nearly everyday, sometimes even twice a day. It got so bad that a teacher sent her to the school psychologist, who then informed her parents of the problem. Unfortunately for Ashlyn, it wasn’t until a month later when her grandmother was looking after her, since her parents were MIA, that she noticed the panic attacks and took Ashlyn to a psychiatrist. She was soon diagnosed with a panic disorder and given a prescription to help with the episodes. Throughout her childhood, the panic attacks came and went; it was just something she learned to deal with and occasionally, depending on what was the root of the anxiety, she would see her doctor and get a prescription again.

For all intents and purposes, Ashlyn was healthy throughout high school and even into college, she managed her panic attacks pretty well and no one even had a clue. That was until Ali life, of course. In the last 3 weeks, Ashlyn had more panic attacks than she could keep track of and Kelley and Tobin saw a number of them. But it wasn’t until now, while Ashlyn was alone in her car, that she realized that maybe it was time to see her doctor again; maybe it was time to face her demons.

She took a couple more deep breaths before grabbing her phone and looking through her contacts for her doctor’s number. She called and set up an appointment for the following afternoon. By this time, she would be late for class and decided that it just wasn’t the day to face that demon. She started her Jeep and headed home. _I need a fucking nap,_ she thought.

\-------------------------------------------------

For Ali, life was much different. She threw herself into her knew job, which she found rather quickly with help from the dean, and forced herself to focus on work and only work. The more time she spent in her classroom or in her office grading papers or coming up with assignments, the less time she had to think about Ashlyn and the life she had to walk away from.

Of course, it wasn’t always like this. The day she left UNC she found herself at her moms, curled up in her childhood bed, eyes burning from the tears that wouldn’t run out. Ali’s mom came in periodically to check on her daughter, but left her alone for the most part. There was nothing anyone could say or do that would help Ali in this moment. The toll that the first week at her mother’s had on Ali was evident by the amount of time she spent asleep.

It wasn’t until Kyle came to visit that Ali finally spent any time vertical. The morning he arrived, he stopped to grab her coffee and breakfast from her favorite place. She drank the coffee in what seemed like one big gulp, but only picked at the food, claiming she just wasn’t hungry, but Kyle knew she didn’t have an appetite; heartbreak will do that to you.

They talked for a while about nothing of substance until Kyle was done beating around the bush. He took Ali’s hand and held it between his hands before bringing up the topic neither really wanted to discuss, but knew they had to.

“What happened, Alex?” Kyle asked, his voice barely above a whisper, hoping to not scare Ali away.

“I got myself fired because I couldn’t control myself and fucked a student.” Ali said harshly.

“Fucked a student? Alex, don’t minimize what you and Ashlyn have. You gu-”

“Had.” Ali interrupted.

“What?” Kyle questioned.

“What Ashlyn and I had. It’s over.” Ali confessed and she immediately felt sick to her stomach. She swallowed a few times before looking up at her brother, who remained silent. He looked down and shook his head.

“What do you mean it’s over? That’s ridiculous. I’ve never seen two people more perfect for each other.” Kyle looked up and saw a tear rolling slowly down Ali’s cheek. He reached up and wiped it away with his thumb.

“Yeah, well…” Ali pushed his hand away and wiped away the tears collecting just under her eye. “Some things are just not meant to be and I need to get used to that.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?”

“Shut up, Ky. It’s just the reality of the situation. They want me to stay away from Ashlyn and that’s what I am going to do. I practically fucked up her future.” Ali confessed, obviously defeated.

“Hold up, who cares? First of all, they don’t own you and even if you did contact her, how would they know? You’re a goddamn adult and so is Ashlyn.” Kyle threw his hands up in frustration and Ali shook her head.

“They practically do own me. They could sue me if I kept in contact with Ash. Regardless, Kyle, it’s over. I can’t go back to UNC and I need to find a new job. I don’t want Ashlyn to feel like she had to make a choice between her education and me, so I made it for her.” Ali confesses.

“I see.” Kyle pauses. “So you didn’t even give the girl a chance. You didn’t even give the relationship a shot at surviving; you just jumped ship.” Kyle looked at Ali with a look of disappointment, which enraged Ali even more.

“Oh, don’t even Kyle. I fucking love her. I did this for her. I’m supposed to be a professional. I’m not supposed to give into temptations like I did. Go ahead and be disappointed in me, but trust me, no one is more disappointed in me than I am.” Ali’s tears were falling now and she certainly had no intentions of stopping them.

“Al…” Kyle whispered before pulling Ali close and holding her tightly while she sobbed into his chest. “It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry you have to go through this, love. I’m here. I’m always here for you.” Kyle ran his hand along her hair and held her until she stopped crying. It was then that Ali knew what she needed to do. There was too much around her that reminded her of Ashlyn; too much that forced her to face the truth and look at what her life had become.

 

During the long month she stayed with her mother, Ali watched her go through chemo, which not only broke her heart even more, but it also doubled as a much needed distraction from her current problems. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Deb was feeling better and the doctors told the family that the cancer was decreasing and she would go into remission sooner rather than later. Once Ali got this news, she knew it was time to go. She needed to get away from the every day reminders of what once was and start fresh somewhere new; somewhere she had never been before.

Within the next month, Ali was gone. She landed a job as a professor at an extremely prestigious university, thanks to the dean, and pushed any and all thoughts of her past life aside. Of course, she kept in touch with her family and even Pinoe, but for the most part, she buried herself in her work. Conveniently, this move allowed Ali to distance herself from her past mentally, as well as physically, seeing as a flight home was nearly 8 hours long and put an ocean between her and everything she once knew. But it was everything she needed at that moment; Germany was everything to her now and she vowed to move on one way or another, so she threw herself into a completely foreign culture and was finally able to live again. The only problem with that was it meant Ali wasn’t necessarily healing, but masking the pain with constant distractions, but for Ali, maybe that meant the same thing.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Here's a half fun half not so fun chapter for you guys! Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you all have a great second half of the week/weekend! I'll try to update again soon, but we are coming to an end kind of shortly. Thanks for all the support and feedback! You are all amazing.

“Kelley! Where’s my red and blue flannel you borrowed last week?” Ashlyn yelled from her room while looking through her closet. A few seconds later, Kelley appeared in her doorway holding just what Ashlyn was looking for.

“Here, I washed it too.” Kelley smirked.

“Oh, you’re gross. I don’t even want to know.” Ashlyn took the shirt from Kelley and threw it on. She stepped in front of her full-length mirror to make sure she got all the buttons before turning back to Kelley. “You ready to go?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m all set. You look hot, Ash. I’m really happy you’re coming out tonight. These parties haven’t been the same without you.” Kelley took a step closer to Ashlyn and straightened out the collar of her shirt.

“I know, Kel. You keep telling me that,” Ashlyn chucked, “I’m feeling good about tonight, though. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again.” Ashlyn admitted. A huge smile spread across Kelley’s face as she threw her arms around Ashlyn and pulled her into a strong hug. Ashlyn responded by wrapping her arms around Kelley’s shoulders and squeezing her hard.

“Uh, can’t… breathe… Ash.” Kelley squeaked out. Ashlyn let out a hearty laugh and released her grip on Kelley.

“Come on, loser. Let’s get to this party. Tobin’s probably there and waiting for us already.”

The two best friends made their way to the New Years Eve party. The entire way there, Ashlyn was feeling more than excited to see old friends and finally get back to her life. She was feeling like herself again and she wasn’t going to let herself miss out on ringing in the New Year right. She was looking forward to starting a new year, finishing school, and breaking out into the real world. After a long time of searching in herself, talking with her friends, her mom, her brother, and her doctor, she decided to pursue a career in motivational speaking and had already started networking and writing a book. The doctor she was seeing was helping her immensely, and lucky for Ashlyn, the talking and the medication was working to make her less anxious and more excited about life again.

Of course, there were some bad days and some days were all she thought about was Ali. She wanted to badly to call her and see how she was doing, but she knew that would only set her back and she figured Ali would call if she wanted to talk to Ashlyn. She wasn’t necessarily mad at Ali anymore, but at the same time, she accepted the fact that Ali didn’t fight for their relationship as the truth and decided she just needed to move on.

“Hey! Finally, you guys made it!” Tobin, obviously having already started drinking, greeted her best friends with a big group hug. “I’m super stoked that you’re out, Ash. We’re going to have a great time tonight, just like old times!”

“Hell yeah!” Ashlyn threw her fist out and Tobin responded with a fist bump. “Clearly we need to catch up with you though, dude. I’m going to need a beer, stat.” Ashlyn laughed.

“And a shot!” Kelley grabbed threw shots from someone carrying a tray of them and handed them off to her friends. “To the New Year and to Ashlyn!” Kelley lifted her shot glass.

“I’ll drink to that!” Tobin raised her shot glass too, and Ashlyn followed suit, laughing at her crazy, yet wholeheartedly supportive friends. She couldn’t ask for better people in her life. She brought her shot glass up to her friends and in unison the all said, “to the New Year and to Ashlyn!” And quickly downed their shots. “Alright, I’m getting us beers. I’ll be back!” Tobin said in a silly accent before turning to head toward the kitchen for beers.

 

It didn’t take long for Ashlyn and Kelley to catch up to Tobin and before they knew it, all three were happy and drunk. Ashlyn was really starting to feel loose and carefree, so when a beautiful girl came up to her and asked her to dance, she didn’t even think twice. The two ended up on the dance floor for a few songs and the girl was not shy about putting her hands wherever she wanted to on Ashlyn, and Ashlyn was too far gone to notice, but Kelley noticed and decided it was probably time to bring Ashlyn back over to their group.

“Kels!” Ashlyn yelled excitedly when Kelley tugged Ashlyn away from the girl, who looked very displeased with Kelley.

“Ash, we’re going to play beer pong and you’re on my team, come on.” Kelley grabbed Ashlyn’s arm and brought her over to the ping-pong table.

“On one condition.” Ashlyn stepped in front of Kelley and put her hands on her shoulders.

“W-What?” Kelley was confused by the seriousness housed in Ashlyn’s eyes.

“If we win, which we will, you have to dance with me the rest of the night, since you so kindly pulled me away from the beauty I was with.” Ashlyn paused and looked back at the dance floor where the girl was already getting close with someone else, which didn’t bother Ashlyn at all. “If we lose, which we won’t, we do body shots.” Ashlyn smirked at how Kelley’s eyes went wide almost immediately. Kelley took a sip of her beer before decided to reply, but Ashlyn wasn’t done. “Off each other.” Kelley nearly spit out her beer and started coughing.

“What?!” Kelley got out between her coughs.

“Come on, Kelley. It’ll be fun. If I’m having fun, you definitely need to be having fun.” Ashlyn turned and met up with Tobin and Alex at the ping-pong table. Kelley quickly pulled herself together and joined her friends.

 

After two full games of beer pong, the first one Ashlyn and Kelley won and the second one Tobin and Alex won, the four were completely smashed, but Ashlyn was loving every second of it. Although she probably wasn’t going to remember the majority of the night, she was having fun and that was all the mattered.

That was until she woke up the next morning naked in Kelley’s bed. _What the hell happened?_ She asked herself. She stretched her arms out until she felt a body next to her. She immediately turned her head and saw a brown haired girl wearing a t-shirt that looked strangely like the one she was wearing under her flannel the night before. _Oh shit, fuck fuck fuck,_ Ashlyn thought. She slowly lifted herself off the bed and tried to catch a glimpse of the girls face, but while she was doing this, she knocked into the nightstand and the lamp fell to the ground with a crash.

“Oh fuck.” Ashlyn whispered, but it was too late. The girl woke up and looked right at Ashlyn. “KELLEY?!” Ashlyn screeched.

“Oh my god, why are you naked?!” Kelley screamed, quickly pulling the covered over her eyes. “Wait am I!?” Kelley quickly checked herself and saw that she was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. “Oh thank god.”

“No thank god! Those are my clothes! Why are you wearing my clothes!?” Ashlyn quickly grabbed her shirt off the floor and threw on a pair of joggers Kelley had on her desk chair.

“What is all the screaming about? We’re trying to sleep here.” Tobin walked in and saw the looks on her friends’ faces and burst out into laughter. “Oh wow, you guys look like you’ve both seen a ghost. Or each other naked, but that already happened last night and trust me, those weren’t the faces you guys were making.” Tobin continued laughing, nearly on the ground at this point.

“WHAT?!” Kelley and Ashlyn said in unison. They both looked at each other and then back at Tobin.

“Tobin, what the fuck happened last night? Please start explaining. And please tell me I didn’t sleep with Kelley!” Ashlyn covered her face with her hands and sat down on Kelley’s bed.

“Oh you say that like it would be the worst thing in the world!” Kelley smacked Ashlyn’s arm.

“Kelley! You’re my best friend! It would be like the worst thing in the world!”

“Guys, relax already. Tobin is just messing with you.” Alex came around the corner and pushed Tobin. “Babe, don’t freak them out anymore than they already are. That’s just mean.”

“You didn’t see the looks on their faces. That was priceless man. Whew.” Tobin whipped away the tears on her face from laughing and finally stepped closer to her friends. “Don’t worry. You guys didn’t sleep together. You both got shitfaced, and I mean obliterated. I stopped drinking after our first beer pong game, which you guys didn’t even notice, because I saw how wasted you two were. Anyway, you both ended up dancing all night and doing body shots off each other. You two were a hot mess, but the life of the party for sure. We finally got home and Ashlyn, you completely stripped your clothes off and I think just went to the wrong room and Kelley, you just followed Ash and somehow managed to put her clothes on. I have no idea how that happened, but you guys were out like a like in minutes, so we just went to bed.” Tobin kissed Alex’s check when she finished and looked back at her friends who were definitely mortified.

“Now you can say thank god, Kels. That was a scary moment.” Ashlyn let out a deep breath.

“Thank god.” Kelley fell back into her bed and covered her face with a pillow.

“Don’t worry guys, I had your back. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you two.” Tobin assured her best friends. “Well, almost anything. Ash, you did kind of get a tattoo on your ass.” Tobin chucked before walking out of the room.

“WHAT?! TOBIN GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!” Ashlyn yelled and then turned to Kelley.

“Don’t look at me. I am not checking your ass for tattoos.” Kelley threw her hands up in defense.

“Kelley, check my ass!” Ashlyn pulled down the back of her pants and turned as far as she could to see if there was a tattoo.

“Ash, there is nothing there. Please pull those back up. She was messing with you again.” Kelley laughed, thankful the joke wasn’t on her this time.

“TOBIN! I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!” Ashlyn yelled, already running toward Tobin’s room.

 ------------------------------------

Ali had just finished her classes for the day and was heading home when her phone rang and a smile quickly spread across her face.

“Pinoe! Hi!” Ali said excitedly.

“Hey, Al! Man I miss you. I just needed to hear your voice.” Pinoe explained, but Ali picked up on the sad tone in her voice.

“Is everything okay?” Ali questioned, instantly concerned.

“I just miss my best friend, that’s all. It’s been months since I saw you now, and even weeks since I’ve heard from you. Happy New Year, by the way. Even though it’s March now.”

“I know I’ve been distant. I’m really sorry for neglecting you. You know I’ve been trying to get my life back together since everything that happened at UNC and trying to get over Ashlyn. It’s just been really hard.” Ali admitted.

“I’m always here for you, Ali. Even when you need to be alone, I’m still here.” Megan reassured Ali.

“I know, thank you. You’re honestly the best. I’ll try and be better at calling and catching up.”

“Good. So tell me, how’s the new school and everything?” Pinoe inquired.

“It’s honestly amazing here. It was difficult for a while and I felt so lost, but I’m finally learning the culture and immersing myself in all the life around me.” Ali explained. “I’m really starting to feel at home here.”

“That’s great, love! Have you made any friends?” Pinoe asked curiously, always making sure Ali was finding people who cared about her no matter where she ended up.

“I’ve been out with a couple of the other professors from school. I don’t know if I’d say I made a friend yet, but we’re getting there.” Ali chucked. “Don’t worry, I’m not lonely. I’m actually really enjoying my alone time these days. It keeps me out of trouble.”

“Al, are you serious? You can’t just isolate yourself to stay out of trouble. Come on, you know that.” Pinoe’s tone changed from lighthearted to concerned quickly.

“I’m fine, Megan. I’m just trying to keep myself grounded.”

“No, you’re trying to keep yourself isolated. You’re trying to keep yourself safe, and I get that, but you’re always doing this when things go wrong, Al. You step back from your problems and ignore them until they just happen to disappear. You can’t keep living your life this way; you’re going to run out of places to escape to. Hell you ran off to another country this time!” Pinoe yelled.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I did what I thought I had to and I don’t regret it.” Ali could feel the tears starting to collect at the bottom of her eyes and her chest start to tighten. All she wanted to do was hang up the phone, _maybe she’s right, I do run away when times get rough,_ Ali thought.

“Of course you don’t regret it, because it’s working for you, for now. You loved Ashlyn, didn’t you? You guys were good together, I saw it and everyone else did too, but the second something gets a little more stressful, oh there goes Ali. See ya later!”

“Stop acting like I just abandon the people in my life. You know I loved her, but we couldn’t be together. She could have gotten kicked out of school and I lost my fucking job because of that relationship!” Ali could feel the tears running freely now, but knew nothing would stop them now.

“You couldn’t be together _now_. But she’s literally graduating in a couple months. You know you could have waited if you really wanted to, but this was your out; this was your get out of jail free card and you took it and ran like the wind. It’s exactly what you did with Jennifer two years ago. She got serious and you got scared and took the job at UNC. Well, look what happened!” Pinoe didn’t even have to say anything else; Ali knew she was right.

“I know…” Ali paused.

“You – wait you know?” Pinoe stopped and waited for Ali to continue this time.

“You’re right, I do run from my problems. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. It’s all I really know how to do. I don’t think I even know what it looks like to tough it out. I fucked up, Megan. I fucked it all up.” Ali sobbed into the pillow she was holding, finally realizing this patter she was continuously reliving.

“Oh shit, Al. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to get so real. I just worry about you, that’s all. I want you to be happy and I just thought you had that with Ashlyn; I thought you were finally with someone good. She really loved you and I’m sure she still does…” Pinoe trailed off.

“Don’t even go there, Pinoe. I can’t do that to her. I’m sure she’s moved on to someone else or doing fine on her own. I can’t mess with any progress she’s made so far.”

“You two were so good together though. Maybe give it some more time and when you finally move back to the states you can find her and catch up.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I would love to see her and hopefully still be friends, someday.” If Ali thought about it, she knew she didn’t want to be ‘just friends’ with Ashlyn in any scenario and if she really thought about it, she knew she was still madly in love with Ashlyn. But that didn’t matter anymore. She needed to keep her distance and tell herself that Ashlyn was okay and that she was moved on. Sometimes she even told herself that Ashlyn hated her for what she did; that Ashlyn would never forgiver her for leaving at the first sign of trouble. Maybe that was true, Ali didn’t know, but for right now, she was going to keep her distance and let not only Ashlyn continue to heal, but also herself.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit of a short chapter. Sorry! Enjoy! Also there is an obvious time jump as well. Wanted to speed things up to get the story moving so we could finish strong.

_This is it_ , Ashlyn thinks as she rolls out of bed to get ready for the day. She had woken herself up moments before her alarm was set to go off, like she does on most of the important days of her life, and knew there was no sense in delaying the inevitable. It was finally graduation day and Ashlyn wasn’t entirely sure how to process the host of emotions she was currently feeling. She was excited to have made it to the end of her undergraduate career, she was nervous to move on to the next chapter of her life, and she was anxious about what her life looked like outside of UNC. It had become a second home for her; a first home if she thought about how she had never fully experienced what a home was before finding herself at UNC.

Most of all, she felt proud. She was proud of herself for completing her degree on time and for knowing where she wanted to go as her next step. She had been accepted into a graduate program for communications in Washington, DC and she was ready to pursue a career as, hopefully, an author and public speaker. She was eager to get started and leave any of her negative thoughts and memories behind at UNC, and only take the good ones. There were only a handful of hard times during her days at UNC, but she was prepared to leave them behind and that certainly included her memories of Ali. Ashlyn was finally feeling normal again; she was finally remembering how life felt without Ali around and even though it hurt, Ashlyn knew she needed to keep moving forward and putting herself first.

“Yo, Ash! Are you ready yet?” Tobin yelled from the kitchen. Ashlyn laughed to herself and shook her head while pulling on her pants.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute to make you guys breakfast!” Ashlyn could hear mumbling and then Tobin said ouch, assuming Kelley hit her for being so obvious. Ashlyn was going to miss those losers most of all. They had made a home together during their years at UNC and the hardest change to deal with was probably going to be not seeing them everyday. Luckily, they wouldn’t be too far from each other after school ended. Hopefully they would get to see each other every so often.

Ashlyn made her way into the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients to make eggs and pancakes.

“Ash, you don’t need to make us breakfast. Tobin was just being an selfish.” Kelley glared at Tobin, who refused to look back, knowing exactly what was waiting for her.

“No worries. I’m hungry too and its probably one of the last times I’ll be able to enjoy this here with you guys.” Ashlyn frowned and looked up at a teary eyed Kelley. “Oh Kell, don’t cry. It’s too soon for that!” Ashlyn rounded the counter and pulled Kelley into a hug. It didn’t take long before Tobin got up and wrapped her arms around her two best friends.

“I’m just going to miss you guys so much. I don’t know how I’m going to survive.” Kelley mumbled into Ashlyn’s chest.

“You mean you don’t know how you’re going to get up on time every morning without Ashlyn there to wake you up?” Tobin quipped. Kelley quickly jabbed her elbow into Tobin’s ribs. “Owwww, I take it back. Jesus Kell. I’m not going to miss that.” Tobin paused. “Actually I probably will. Don’t do it again though.” The three best friends laughed and hugged a still crying Kelley until she calmed down a bit. Ashlyn went back to making their breakfast and they each kept the conversation light and off the topic of graduating.

They enjoyed their morning together until it was time to get to the school for the ceremony. The whole thing felt surreal to Ashlyn. When the year started, Ashlyn couldn’t believe she had finally made it and now, she couldn’t believe she was about to officially become a college graduate. No one in her family had been able to complete college and most hadn’t even attempted to go at all. She felt accomplished and confident that she could take on anything life threw at her; especially since she finished regardless of the heartbreak and distraction she had to deal with.

It had been weeks, if not months, since Ashlyn let herself dwell on her past with Ali. Of course Ashlyn thought about her, every single day, but if she let her mind wander and remember how she felt with Ali in her life, then she would never have made it this far in her healing process. She hadn’t dated anyone or even hooked up with anyone since, but Ashlyn decided it was just important for her to stay on the right track. Dating and falling in love would come along someday, but that day hadn’t come yet and Ashlyn was more than happy with being alone.

Ashlyn and her class sat and waited for their names to be called so that they could each walk across the stage to receive their hard-earned diplomas. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and quickly took it out to see a group text between Tobin and Kelley informing Ashlyn that they would be holding a party at their place tonight for their closest friends and teammates.

 **Kelley:** I know it’s last minute, but it won’t be till late after we have dinner with our families so we’ll have time to prepare. I just want one big last hurrah!

 **Tobin:** I’m in. I’ll stop for snacks after dinner with my fam.

 **Ashlyn:** Yeah, I’m down. I need to get drunk. I’ll get the alcohol.

 **Kelley:** Perfect! Love you guys! You guys are up soon! Don’t trip!

 **Tobin:** Wow, fuck you man. Now if I fall it’s your fault and you’re going to pay for it.

Ashlyn laughed down at her phone before putting in away. She made her way to the stage with her row, which included Tobin a few seats down. Before Ashlyn could freak out any more, her name was called and she was walking across the stage for her diploma. She looked out into the sea of people and saw her family; her mom, brother, and grandma were all there, cheering for her. She could see just how proud they were of Ashlyn and it made her realize how real all of this truly was.

As Ashlyn continued across the stage, she looked over to the people who were standing along the outside of the seating areas and saw a familiar shorthaired blonde. _Pinoe?_ Ashlyn thought while walking down the steps of the stage. Ashlyn’s heartbeat quickly sped up as she looked to Megan’s right. _Alex._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's short because I wanted to leave you all with a cliffhanger. Sorry I'm not sorry! But don't worry, I've already written most of the next chapter and it will hopefully clear up a lot of stuff. We're close to the end and I just want you guys to know how happy I am that you've all enjoyed it. Thank you so much!
> 
> P.S. I have another fic idea in mind, so I'm not going anywhere yet. 
> 
> Any guesses on what is going to happen next??


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this clears things up a little bit. Next chapter will continue Ali's part and then end with Ashlyn's part. Probably about 3 more chapters to go people! I loved all your comments about the cliffhanger. You guys crack me up. 
> 
> Thanks for all the support! Keep it coming!

The morning Ali decided it was time to go home to see her family was the same morning she realized it was time to see Ashlyn. She was sitting in her favorite coffee shop when her brother called her to catch up. They talked and talked, but it never felt like enough was being said; she quickly realized she desperately needed to spend some time at home.

“Kyle, I think I’m going to come home for a bit. The school is on break and I’ll have three solid months to spend with you and mom and dad. I think I’m ready to come home.” Ali confesses.

“Oh, Alex! I’m so beyond happy. I wanted you to come home so badly, but I know you needed time after everything with Ashlyn. I just didn’t want to pressure you. Mom really misses you; we all do.” Kyle finished and Ali felt a twinge of guilt run through her. She needed the time and the space, but she never meant to hurt those around her in the process.

“I’m booking flights now. Do you think you can get time off and be home to pick me up from the airport? Then I could always fly out with you to LA and spend a while there with you, if you’ll have me.” Ali was smiling ear to ear. She finally felt like she could be home and not feel suffocated by the poor choices of her past.

“Absolutely! You can stay forever!” Kyle laughed. He sounded so carefree and happy that it made Ali’s decision to come home that much easier. She couldn’t wait to tell her mom and Pinoe that she would be home. Hopefully she could have some quality time with her best friend too. “I’ve gotta go plan all of this out. I can’t wait to have you here! I’m going to show you everything!” Kyle said excitedly.

“Sound perfect. I can’t wait to see you Kyle. I love you.”

“I love you too, B! See you soon! Ah I can’t believe I get to say that!” Ali laughed at how excited her brother was and hung up. She sent a quick text to Pinoe to have her call when she could and continue to book her flight.

After a few minutes, Ali started to pack up her things to head home and pack for her trip.

“Excuse me.” Someone said while standing in front of Ali’s table. Ali looked up and saw a beautiful blonde haired women smiling down at her.

“Yes?” Ali answered, confused as to why the women was talking to her. _Maybe she wants my table?_

“Hi, I don’t normally do this, but I saw you were leaving and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to speak to the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.” The stranger said to Ali. As a reflex to the compliment, Ali smiled and got up from the table.

“Wow, that’s… very kind of you to say.”

“I know you’re leaving and I don’t want to keep you, but could I get your number or I could give you mine, so I can take you out sometime, if you’d like.” The women said timidly. Ali thought about it for a moment before realizing why she really had no interest in giving the women her number.

“I’m flattered, thank you, but I’m not totally available.” Ali explained.

“Not totally available?” The women questioned.

“It’s… complicated.” Ali looked down at her hands and saw Pinoe was calling. “I’ve got to take this. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. Life is complicated. But if it ever stops being complicated, you know were to find me. My name is Marritt, by the way.”

“I’m Ali, it’s nice to meet you Marritt.” Ali waved and made her way outside to answer Megan’s call. “Hey!” Ali exclaimed.

“Hey, Al. Everything okay? You took a while to answer, I got worried.” Pinoe chuckled.

“Yeah, sorry. I was getting asked out on a date.” Ali explained and Pinoe laughed again.

“Wait, really? What did you say?” Pinoe asked excitedly.

“Actually, I said I wasn’t available… I’m not really sure why, but Ashlyn popped into my head and I just couldn’t say yes to the women. Pinoe, I think I’m still in love with Ashlyn.” Ali admitted.

“You think? Really, Ali, no shit Sherlock!”

“Oh shut up, I’ve been trying to get over here, but I don’t think I’ll ever not love her. Oh! I probably should have started with this, but I’m coming home in a few days!” Ali yelled breathlessly.

“Hell yeah, start with that! Holy shit, are you serious? Wow, just in time for UNC’s graduation…” Pinoe trailed off, obviously unsure of how Ali would react.

“Oh, right. That is coming up, isn’t it? Do you think I should go? I don’t want to surprise Ash, or make her mad that I would just think I could show up like that.” Ali considered the possibilities.

“I don’t think there is a right way to do this, Al. I think you should do whatever feels comfortable and take it from there. If you want to see Ashlyn graduate, then go. I’ll come with you. Then you can talk to her and figure all of this out once and for all.” Pinoe decided.

“You’re right. There is no way to do this without making it more complicated, so lets do it! I’ll drive down to UNC the day before and stay with you for a few days. I just hope Ashlyn doesn’t hate me too much…”

“I have no idea what Ashlyn is feeling at this point, but she was really mad before. Hopefully she has had some time to cool down, but you should still be prepared to fight for the girl; she’s not going to make this easy for you, that’s for sure.” Pinoe assured Ali, and she was right. Ali was going to need to prove to Ashlyn that she was willing to fight for their relationship. Maybe it was a little late, but Ali was hopeful that there was still a chance; that there was still something there and despite the poor choice Ali made following the trouble at UNC, Ali thought, _maybe Ashlyn will love me anyway._

 

As Ali made her way through the airport, she felt a surge of energy run through her body. Not only was she about to see Kyle and her whole family after months of being away, but she was going to she her best friend and Ashlyn soon too. She was excited and nervous, all wrapped up in one, and she couldn’t wait to head down to North Carolina to finally see what her future would hold.

“Alizzie!” Ali looked up and saw her favorite guy running full speed toward her.

“Kyle!” Ali jumped up into his waiting arms and wrapped herself around him. “Holy shit I missed you.” Ali held onto Kyle as if he were to disappear at any second.

“I missed you more, B. I’m so happy you’re home. I can’t even stand it!” Kyle squeezed Ali tight in his arms.

“Can’t… breathe… Kyle.” Ali exhaled and Kyle quickly put her down and let her take a breath. “I’m happy to be home too, but don’t kill me first!” The siblings laughed and walked over to the baggage claim belt to retrieve Ali’s luggage.

“Okay, is that everything Princess? Damn, could you have packed anything else?” Kyle jested.

“Oh stop. I’m here for months! I need my things. I’d like to see you pack for this long of a trip.” Ali shoved Kyle lightly for his joke and kept on walking with him through the airport.

“I mean, it wouldn’t require this much packing, seeing as how I don’t really wear clothes all that often.” Kyle chucked and Ali couldn’t help but laugh in return, because her brother was totally right. She knew all too well about how Kyle liked to dress by keeping up with him through his Instagram account. Being able to joke around and have fun with her brother meant more to her than she could ever explain; she knew she wasn’t going to take this trip for granted, that’s for sure.

“So I have a little surprise for you, Alex.” Ali immediately looked at Kyle in confusion. “Someone came with me to pick you up.”

“Who?” Ali asked, and before Kyle could even answer, she looked up and saw Pinoe standing by Kyle’s car with open arms. “Pinoe!” Ali shouted while barreling toward Pinoe. “What are you doing here?” Ali asked while pulling Megan into a hug. “I thought I was going to meet you in North Carolina.”

“Well I decided I couldn’t wait that long and figured you’d want some company for the ride down.” Megan smiled at her best friend and cupped her face with her hands. “It is so good to see you, Al. I’ve really missed having you around.” Megan pulled Ali in and kissed her forehead before hugging her again.

“I’m so glad you’re here! I definitely was dreading that ride alone. This is awesome!” Ali jumped up and down while still hugging Pinoe.

“This one just called me this morning, telling me she was on her way. I didn’t have much choice in the matter.” Kyle joked.

“Oh puh-lease. You know you wanted to see me too, jerk.” Pinoe punched Kyle in the arm and laughed.

“I guess you’re not the worst person in the world to spend time with.” Kyle pulled Pinoe into a hug and Ali quickly threw her arms around the two of them.

“This is honestly perfection; my two favorite people picking me up from the airport for a nice long trip home. I couldn’t be happier.”

“Just wait and see how you feel when you see your other favorite person.” Pinoe smirked and nudged Ali with her elbow.

“Huh?” Kyle questioned, obviously confused.

“Oh, uh, I hadn’t really explained that to Kyle yet. I was saving it for the ride home.” Ali looked down at the ground to avoid her brother’s inevitable stare down.

“Oops…” Pinoe trailed off and started grabbing Ali’s bags to put into the trunk of the car.

“Okay, Ms. Krieger. You’ve got some explaining to do. Also, we need to get going; mom and dad are dying to see you.” Kyle opened the passenger door for Ali and motioned for her to get in.

“How is mom? I know she’s been doing pretty well, but that’s just from what she’ll tell me.” Ali asked while settling into the passenger seat, concerned that her mom was maybe not being one hundred percent truthful with her all the time.

“She actually is doing really well. You know I would tell you if she wasn’t. She healthy and happy, Alex; especially since you’re home!” Kyle got into the drivers seat and started navigating through the airport to get onto the highway. “Okay, care to explain who this other favorite person of yours is? It’s not who I think it is… is it?”

“Well if you’re thinking it’s Ashlyn, then ding ding ding!” Pinoe said from the backseat.

“I knew it!” Kyle exclaimed. Ali smacked him on the arm. “Ouch! You can’t hurt the driver, Ali!”

“Oh hush, you’re fine. Anyway, I kind of realized that I’m still in love with Ashlyn and I need to see her again. I mean, it might just be because there was no closure or anything, but maybe there’s a chance for something there again, ya know?” Ali said hopefully.

“Ali,” Kyle reached over and took Ali’s hand in his, “I support you all the way. I’ve never seen you as happy with anyone else, before Ashlyn and especially since Ashlyn. If you feel like there is something there, go for it. But be prepared for her to be furious with you still; you don’t know if she’s gotten over the situation yet or anything. Your disappearing probably really screwed her up; it screwed us all up.” Kyle said with a trace of sadness apparent in his voice. Ali squeezed his hand and felt guilt rush over her.

“I’m so sorry, to both of you and to mom and dad. I just… I didn’t know what else to do. I felt like I lost control of everything again and I needed to escape. I know now that that is such a shitty way of handling things and I’m working on it, I promise.” Ali looked back at Megan and gave her a reassuring smile. She had taken what her best friend told her to heart and it made her realize just how wrong she was for always running away from her problems.

“It’s okay, Ali. I know we both understand that this has been hard for you. There is no need to apologize. And trust me, mom and dad understand too.” Kyle guaranteed. “We love you no matter what.”

“I love you guys too. Thank you for being so understanding.” Having Kyle and Megan be so supportive made Ali feel like she was the luckiest girl in the world. No matter what life threw her way, she knew they would be there for her always. It was because of this that Ali realized she had made the right decision to come home to her family. Seeing everyone was starting to make her feel human again and starting to face her demons was definitely a necessary step for her to take. She knew she couldn’t run from them and most importantly, she knew she couldn’t run from her love for Ashlyn anymore. It was now or never.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Hope you enjoy this update! Keep the feedback coming. Thank you all for reading.

Over the next few days, Ali did all she could to make up for lost time. She went shopping with her mom, went to the driving range with her dad, and went out with Kyle and Megan as much as possible. For the first time in what felt like forever, Ali was starting to feel again. She hadn’t realized how numb she had forced herself to become. While in Germany, she felt like the only way she was going to be able to even attempt to move on was if she just didn’t feel anything at all. It wasn’t until now, being at home with the people she loved the most, that Ali was able to see just how destructive that was and decided to make a change.

“I don’t think I want to go back to Germany.” Ali admitted while having dinner with her family and Megan. Everyone looked up from their plates and waited for Ali to continue. “It just doesn’t feel right anymore. Being home feels so good and I really can’t keep running away from the difficult things in my life.”

“Well wouldn’t you be running away from Germany?” Kyle questioned.

“I went to Germany to escape when I needed to stay and fight for myself and for…” Ali paused and looked down at her food.

“For what honey?” Ali’s mom wondered. She hadn’t told her parents about going to see Ashlyn yet, but now was as good a time as any since her and Pinoe would be leaving for UNC the next day.

“For Ashlyn.” Ali took a deep breath and continued. “I’m going to fight for Ashlyn. While in Germany I realized how foolish I had been to let her go and maybe I’m being just as foolish now, but I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I need to see if there is anything left to salvage.” Ali explained.

“Oh, Alex, that’s wonderful. I don’t think I have ever seen you happier than when you were with her and I know it was hard for you to lose her.” Ali’s mom walked around the table to where she was sitting and pulled Ali into a hug. “Have you two spoken since you’ve been home?”

“No, um, we actually haven’t spoken since I left for Germany.” Ali confessed.

“Wow. How can you be sure she’ll even talk to you at this point?” Ali’s dad asked. Ali and her mom took their seats again. Debbie swiftly smacked Ken’s arm.

“Don’t be silly. Of course Ashlyn will talk to her again.” Deb gave Ken a pointed look and turned her attention back to Ali.

“No, that is a genuine concern of mine. She might not even want to see me again, but it is a chance I need to take.” Ali smiled at her father, reassuring him that she knew he was just looking out for her.

“Then I’m rooting for you, Alex, as always.” Ken smiled back at Ali and went back to eating his food.

“Thank you, dad. Pinoe and I leave in the morning for UNC. I’m not really sure how long we’ll be there; it obviously all depends on how it goes, but I’ll be staying with Pinoe for at least a few days.” Ali smiled at Pinoe who nodded in agreement.

“Just call and keep us updated, love.” Ali smiled at her mom and continued eating her dinner.

 

The next day, after saying goodbye to her family, Ali and Pinoe were on their way to UNC. Ali couldn’t pinpoint a time in her life where she was more nervous than she was during the drive to UNC. She knew that nothing could even prepare her for what was about to transpire, but it was important for Ali to remain levelheaded and understand that reuniting with Ashlyn might not go according to planned.

Ali played through every possible scenario imaginable. Worst case was Ashlyn is still furious with Ali and she freaks out when she sees her, and Ali was really praying it wasn’t that one. A not-so-good, but not-so-bad option was that Ashlyn is upset when she sees her, but they are still able to talk it out and hopefully Ali is able to work her charm to win Ashlyn back. And the last option, the one Ali was crossing her fingers for, but also knew how unrealistic it was, was that Ashlyn would be absolutely thrilled to see Ali and run to her and kiss her and all would be forgiven.

“You know that isn’t going to happen, Al.” Pinoe shook her head and laughed at the brunette.

“Yeah I know.” Ali admitted, dragging out the end of the last word. “A girl can dream.” Ali chucked.

“Ash isn’t going to just up and forgive you. You’ve got a lot of work to do on that girl first. Not to mention, her friends are probably even less fond of you at this point.” Pinoe reasoned.

“Oh shit. Kelley and Tobin probably won’t even let me within five feet of Ashlyn.” Ali’s face fell into her hands. “I didn’t even think about them; I’ll probably have to do more work convincing them that I’m here to stay than I will with Ash.”

“You might be right. I know that if the roles were revered and Ash did what you did I would give her a hell of a time.” Pinoe reached over and rubbed Ali’s back.

“I don’t even know if I should take that as a compliment or not, but thanks?” They both laughed. “Honestly though, all jokes aside, I am so grateful that you’re here with me. I don’t think I could do this without you.”

“Yes you could, Alex. You’re capable of anything that you put your mind to and you need to remember that. You’re the strongest person I have ever known. I’ve learned so much from you in the years we’ve known each other and I just want you to know, no matter what happens with Ashlyn, that I am here for you and we’re going to get you through this. I just don’t want you to think you have to run away again.” Pinoe squeeze Ali’s shoulder before putting both hands on the wheel again. Ali quickly threw her arms around Pinoe and hugged her tight.

“Thank you so much, Megan. I feel so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for always reassuring me and making me feel like I am special.” Ali released her grip on Pinoe and settled back into the passenger seat.

“I’m the lucky one, Al and you’re beyond special.”

“Stop it! You’re making me cry.” Ali laughed while wiping away a tear before it could fall from her eye.

“Well we’re here, so go fix up you’re make up and get ready so we can head to the ceremony.” They both got out of the care and made their way into Pinoe’s house to get ready.

About an hour later, the two found a spot in the front of the crowd and waited for the ceremony to start. The nerves were just building up inside Ali while she waited to catch even a glimpse of Ashlyn. Pinoe put her arm around Ali’s shoulder and pulled her close.

“Relax, Alex. You’re here and things are going to play out however they are meant to.” Pinoe had always been a miracle worker when it came to calming Ali down when she needed it and this moment was no exception. “Just give her that smile she fell in love when she sees you and that’s all you can do right now.”

“You’re right. It’s not like she’s going to storm over here and scream at me. Well, at least I hope she doesn’t do that.”

“Look.” Ali followed Pinoe’s gaze and immediately felt like her heart was going to explode. _There she is,_ Ali thought. Every feeling and every memory came flooding back to Ali’s mind as she spotted Ashlyn getting up to walk across the stage.

Doubting herself was something Ali did well. From college, to jobs, to this, Ali continuously sold herself short. It was a constant stream of ‘ _I’m not good enough’, ‘I can’t do that’,_ and now, Ali thought ‘ _there’s no way she loves me anymore’._ This moment was no different. The more Ali stared at Ashlyn, the more she wanted to run. _If I leave now, she won’t even know I was here. This was beyond selfish of me. Fuck._ Ali went to turn when Pinoe nudged her shoulder, pulling her attention back to the beautiful blonde who still held her heart.

Ali watched as Ashlyn walked across the stage and the look on her face melted Ali’s heart. Ashlyn looked proud and Ali knew how difficult it was for Ashlyn to be proud of herself, but she definitely looked proud. Ali couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Ashlyn receiving her hard earned diploma and just as she was about to walk off stage, she saw Ashlyn’s eyes land on her. _Well, there’s no turning back now_ , Ali thought. She kept on smiling and nodded at Ashlyn before losing her in the sea of other graduates as they took their seats.

\----------------------------------------------

Ashlyn has never been a huge fan of surprises, and after seeing Ali, she’s pretty sure she hates them even more now. Ashlyn quickly takes her seat and leans forward to try and make eye contact with Tobin, who is just a few seats down. Tobin, after seeing the look of what Ashlyn can only assume is shock and horror, quickly switches seats with the person next to Ashlyn.

“What’s up dude? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Tobin squeezes Ashlyn’s shoulder as an attempt to comfort her.

“I feel like I did. Al…” Ashlyn takes a deep breath before continuing. “Ali is here. She’s in the back with Pinoe. She’s here Tobin.”

“Holy shit. Seriously? Are you sure you didn’t just see someone who looks like her?” Tobin questioned.

“No fucking way. It was her. I’d know that smile anywhere, and those eyes, I’d know those eyes anywhere.” Ashlyn started breathing heavier.

“Relax, dude. You need to keep it together. Why is she even here?” Tobin asked while looking around to see if she could see Ali as well.

“Would I be freaking out if I fucking knew? Fuck. If she’s here to see me she can fucking forget about it.” Ashlyn put her face in her hands and attempted to steady her breathing.

“Chill out, Ash. Of course she’s here to see you, but I agree. You can’t let her think she can just show up and expect you to want to see her. Especially after she just dropped off the face of the earth.” Tobin concurred.

“What if… What if I want to see her? It’s been so long and I’ve been doing so well, but I miss her, Tobin. I fucking miss her.” Tobin pulled Ashlyn into a strong hug to hopefully keep the tears at bay.

“Look, if you want to see her, I’ll support you, but I’m not completely on board with the idea. She messed you up, Ash. I’m just scared she’ll do it again. And trust me, Kelley is going to be even less happy about the idea.” Tobin rubbed Ashlyn’s back.

“I know, I know. I mean, seeing her is really freaking me out, but I don’t know, I think I could handle talking to her again. I need to know why she’s here, Tobs. I need to know what’s going on and hopefully get some closure from all of this.”

“I hear ya, Ash. Don’t worry; I’ll get Kelley to understand. I’ll do my best to keep those tiny fists of fury from Ali. I can’t make any promises though.” The two best friends chuckled, and for the first time since seeing Ali, Ashlyn was able to take a deep breath. No matter what happened, Ashlyn felt like she could handle it and that was reassurance enough.

 

As soon as the ceremony ended, Ashlyn and Tobin made their way out of the crowd, dragging Kelley along with them.

“What the fuck, guys? What’s going on?”

“Ali is here.” Tobin blurted out.

“Shut the fuck up. Is that some kind of joke?” Kelley looked at her two best friends, attempting to read their faces for more information.

“Not a joke. I saw here. She’s here.” Ashlyn nodded at Kelley.

“Why? She better not be here to see you. I’ll kill her.” Kelley started looking around into the crowd of people. Tobin quickly put her hands on Kelley’s shoulders and pulled her attention back to them.

“Relax, feisty one. Ashlyn needs to decide what to do on her own here. She wants to see Ali, and we need to let her.” Tobin tightened her grip on Kelley’s shoulders.

“You want to see her?! Are you kidding? After everything she did to you, how could you even want to give her any attention at all?” Kelley yelled, clearly shocked and getting redder in the face by the minute.

“Kells, listen, I get that you’re just trying to protect me, but I have to see her. I finally feel like I can handle it without falling apart and, more than anything, I need closure. I need you to understand that.” Ashlyn pulled Kelley into a huge and the smaller girl finally calmed down.

“Fine, but I am not happy about this. She can’t just waltz in and think all is forgiven. We put you back together and I’ll be damned if she lets you fall apart again; I won’t let it happen, Ash.”

“I know, Kelley, I know. Don’t worry, I’m not forgiving anyone, but it’s important for me to do this and hear what Ali has to say.” Ashlyn explained. “Just trust me.”

“I do, Ash.” Kelley stated.

“We both do.” Tobin added. Ashlyn pulled her two best friends into a strong hug. As Ashlyn was about to pull away, she looked up and was met with the most familiar cinnamon eyes and a shy smile.

“Do me a favor and occupy my family for a few minutes while I figure things out with Ali, okay?” Ashlyn asked.

“No problem. We’ll see you in a few.” With that, Kelley and Tobin walked back into the sea of graduates and family members. Ashlyn slowly walked over to Ali, ready to throw caution to the wild.

“Hey.” Ashlyn said first, knowing Ali was probably just as nervous and unsure as she was.

“Hi. I guess congratulations are in order, huh?” Ali gave Ashlyn a small smile.

“Thanks, I’m definitely glad its over.” Ashlyn let out a small chuckle before continuing. “And I’m definitely surprised to see you.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t think you’d see me during the ceremony; I was just going to wait to see you after, but clearly that backfired.” Ali admitted.

“No worries. What are you doing here anyway?” Ashlyn asked, not wanting to waste any time getting to the reason Ali was there.

“I came to see you graduate, and I came to talk to you. Ash, I’m so sorry for bailing like I did. I got scared and things got real and I - ”

“You got scared?” Ashlyn cut Ali off. “I was terrified, Alex. You disappeared in an instant and everything I had gotten used to was gone. I was having panic attacks every day, more than once a day. I barely fucking graduated because of you.” Ashlyn explained, becoming more agitated than she thought she would get.

“I feel terrible, Ash. I should never have left you like that; I should never have left you behind. I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it, but I just needed to see you. I came home to see you.” Ali looked down at her trembling hands. Ashlyn reached out and took Ali’s hands in her own.

“I do forgive you, Alex, that’s the crazy part. The second I saw you I knew I had forgiven you and I think that’s what freaked me out the most.” Ashlyn squeezed Ali’s hands and Ali looked up at Ashlyn, obviously surprised by the words coming out of Ashlyn’s mouth.

“You forgive me? How could you forgive me?” Ali questioned.

“I’m not really sure, but I do. It took me a long time to process everything, and I mean a long time, but I realized how scared you must have been. I guess I just can’t hold a grudge against you or maybe I just don’t want to.” Ashlyn smiled back at Ali. She felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of her shoulders by forgiving Ali and she knew it was the right decision. “Al, what did you mean when you said you came home to see me though?”

“Oh, I’ve been living and working in Germany pretty much since I left UNC and I just came home a few days ago to see my family. Then Pinoe and I drove down for your graduation.” Ali smiled up at Ashlyn and squeezed her hands.

“Wow, Germany. That’s quite the move.”

“I realized a lot while I was over there though. Like how I always run away when things in my life get even a little bit difficult. I’m working on it thought.” Ali let out a small laugh and Ashlyn nearly melted at the sound. “I realized something else too.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

“Yeah. I realized I’m still - ”

“Ash! We have to go! Our dinner reservation is in a half hour.” Ashlyn’s brother yelled.

“Shit. I totally forgot about that. Listen, I’ve got to go have dinner with my family, but I want to continue this, okay? We’re having a party at my place tonight and I really want you to come. I won’t take no for an answer.” Ashlyn leaned in and gave Ali a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, Alex. Thanks for coming back.” Ashlyn flashed Ali her dimpled smile and took off back to her family. Ashlyn quickly realized that kissing Ali on the cheek might not have been the smartest idea, but it felt right; having Ali there felt right. _Oh, Kelley is going to kill me for inviting her tonight_ , _oh well,_ Ashlyn thought. She knew this was the right decision for her and Kelley would just have to get on board with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for yet another cliffhanger type ending. Next chapter will be the party and the two will finally talk it out. We're probably looking at two more chapters, so stay with me! Thanks again everyone!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! I was going to do another chapter after this, but I didn't feel it was necessary. I hope you all like how it ended, even though I know it might feel a little rushed. I will probably do an epilogue sometime soon, so keep an eye out for that. Don't worry! I will be back very soon with a new fic idea, so watch out for that as well.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for all the support!

“You have got to be kidding me, Ash!” Kelley fires back after Ashlyn informs her that Ali will be coming by for their party. “This is our graduation party; it couldn’t wait?”

“No, Kelley, it couldn’t wait. I haven’t seen her in nearly seven months and I would like to get some closure. Don’t you want me to move on?” Ashlyn questions.

“Of course I want you to have closure, but what if it isn’t closure? What if she hurts you more? Or worse, what if she sucks you back in?” Kelley says, visibly concerned for her friend by the look on her face.

“She won’t suck me back in. If anything happens between us it will be because I want it to happen. There is a lot to be said and a lot to figure out before anything like that happens though.” Ashlyn pauses and looks down at her feet. “I miss her, Kells. I really miss her.” Ashlyn admits.

“I know you do, Ash.” Kelley steps closer and pulls her best friend into a strong hug. “Just be careful, okay? And you will come find me if I need to take care of her.”

“Take care of her?” Tobin asks as she walks through the front door with two bags full of alcohol. “Kelley, stop asking like you’re tough or something. You’re not going to “take care” of anyone.” Tobin laughs as she walks passed them and into the kitchen.

“Oh shut it, Toby.” Kelley waves Tobin off and turns back to Ashlyn. “Just be careful please?” Ashlyn is about to tell Kelley that she is always careful when the doorbell rings.

“That’s her. How do I look?” Ashlyn asks while stepping back so Kelley can see her full outfit. As soon as Ashlyn got home from dinner with her family, she quickly changed into her favorite outfit; a pair of fitted black pants and a black button up with a dark maroon skinny tie.

“You look hot, Ash. She’s not going to be able to keep her hands off you and that’s what I’m worried about!” Kelley lightly shoves Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry so much.” Ashlyn winks at Kelley before turning and heading for the front door. Ashlyn takes a deep breath as she puts her hand on the doorknob and realizes just how quickly her day has changed. She remembers how quickly her life had changed when she met Ali too and how she had absolutely no choice but to hold on as her life took off in an unexpected direction. Then when Ali left, her life took a dark turn and she felt like she was in constant slow motion, until today when she made eye contact with Ali again after all these months. Ashlyn’s world started spinning again and she felt her heart beat faster; she felt alive again and it scared to no end that Ali had that much of an impact on her happiness. Ashlyn just needed to figure out of that was a good thing or if that was dangerous. She slowly opens the door to see Ali standing on the other side with Megan.

“Congrats, grad!” Pinoe exclaims. “You did it!” Ashlyn smiles at Ali’s wild friend and remembers how much fun the shorthaired blonde really is.

“Thanks, dude. I can’t believe I’m done; it feels surreal.” Ashlyn steps back and motions for the two to come into the house. Ali shyly smiles at Ashlyn and Ash can feel her chest tighten and her cheeks get warmer.

“Well get used to it, kid!” Pinoe adds. “Are the other two Stooges in the kitchen?” Ashlyn chuckles, remembering how Pinoe used to call her, Kelley, and Tobin the Three Stooges. Ashlyn nods toward the kitchen.

“They’re in the kitchen, probably getting as drunk as they possibly can.” Pinoe gives Ash a thumbs up before making her way into the kitchen, most likely to mess with Tobin and Kelley, but Ashlyn is thankful to have Ali alone already. She turns back to Ali just as she is looking Ashlyn up and down. Ashlyn raises an eyebrow and smirks. Ali’s cheeks quickly turn pink at being caught in the act.

“Do you want to go to my room so we can talk before the house is full of people?” Ashlyn asks hesitantly.

“Sure, can I get a drink first though?” Ali asks, needing a bit of liquid courage to get through the necessary, but still terrifying, conversation they are about to have.

“Of course, red wine, right?” Ali nods and the two head into the kitchen. Ashlyn pours Ali a glass of wine and grabs a Woodchuck hard cider for herself. “We’ll be back, guys. Don’t get too drunk before people even get here!” Ashlyn puts her hand on Ali’s lower back and lightly leads her out of the kitchen and toward the stairs. As they reach the last few steps, Ashlyn realizes just how difficult this conversation is about to be. Being this close to Ali, breathing in her scent that Ashlyn has yet to forget and would often catch in random places, forcing her to remember all her most intimate moments with Ali, was going to be more of a struggle than she originally anticipated.

They turned into Ashlyn’s room and Ashlyn closed the door behind herself. She watched as Ali took in the changes in Ashlyn’s room.

“You moved everything around.” Ali comments before turning back to face Ashlyn, who is still standing with her back to the door, unable to come to terms with the fact that Ali was in her room again.

“Uh, yeah, I needed a change. I spent a lot of time in here after…” Ashlyn pauses and looks down. “After you left.” Ashlyn looks up and watches Ali’s eyes go from cautious to sad in an instant. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, Ash. You have every right to be upset with me. I would be if I were you.” Ali states.

“The thing is, I’m not all that upset with you. I mean,” Ashlyn steps further into the room and stops within a couple feet of Ali. “I was so mad at you; I hated you for the longest time. I’m not really sure when I forgave you, but I know I’m not mad anymore and I know I just miss you.” Ashlyn admits.

“I miss you so much, Ash. I don’t want to say I regret leaving, but I regret hurting you the way I did. I was just so scared and I let something so trivial come between something so grand. I should have fought for you and at least waited for you, or something. I don’t know what I would have done, but I should have done something.” Ali, realizing she is rambling a bit, stops and looks down at her feet. “I just want you to know how sorry I am and that I” Ali pauses, unsure of the words she wants to say, “I still love you.” Ali says in a soft, small voice that nearly shatters Ashlyn’s heart all at once.

Ashlyn feels her heart start to race and her mind goes absolutely blank. No words are forming in her mind, let alone coming out of her mouth and all she knows is that she needs Ali to know how she feels. With her current inability to speak, Ashlyn does the only thing she knows how to do in this moment. She takes a step forward and lifts Ali’s chin up so she can look into her cinnamon eyes; eyes that Ashlyn has seen in her dreams since the day they met, eyes that keep Ashlyn grounded and warm, eyes that constantly remind her of home.

She smiles sweetly at Ali and waits for any sign to keep going. Ali smiles back up at Ashlyn and she immediately closes the gap between their lips. The kiss starts off innocent and shy, like the two are just kissing for the first time, and for all intents and purposes it might as well be their first kiss. So much has changed in their separate lives, but their love for each other has remained constant. Ashlyn slides her arms around Ali’s waist and pulls her tight against her body. Ali responds with a sign against Ashlyn’s lips while her arms wrap around Ashlyn’s neck. The kiss turns heated quickly, as soon as Ashlyn slides her tongue across Ali’s lower lip, eliciting a soft moan from Ali. After a few more seconds there is a knock at door and Ashlyn groans while removing her lips from Ali’s.

“What?” Ashlyn snaps, already furious with whoever is at her door.

“Jeez, sorry. I just wanted to tell you people are starting to show up.” Tobin informs them.

“Got it, thanks!” Ashlyn says before leaning in to kiss Ali again, but Ali pushes Ashlyn back with her hand on her chest. Ashlyn gives Ali a concerned look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Maybe you should go enjoy your party and then decide if this is really something you want again.” Ali says, showing Ashlyn just how understanding she has always been.

“Alex, I could never regret being with you. I love you too much.” Ashlyn pulls Ali in and holds her tight. She can feel Ali smiling against her chest and smiles too. Ali pulls back and looks up at Ashlyn with seriousness housed in her eyes.

“Even after everything I have done, you still love me anyway?” Ali asks so innocently and Ashlyn smiles her dimpled smile and nods.

“I’ve never stopped loving you, Alex. I don’t think I ever could.” Ashlyn leans in and gives Ali a kiss that makes her knees give out from underneath her. Ashlyn lifts Ali up by her thighs, which Ali instinctually wraps around Ashlyn’s waist. She carries Ali to her bed and the two get lost in each other for the rest of the night, and into the next day. Their friends’ calls and knocks at the door go unanswered while the two reintroduce themselves to each other’s bodies. Ali shows Ashlyn just how much she missed her and Ashlyn shows Ali that she truly does forgive her.

They silently decided that any talking left to be done could wait until the next day and that, right now, the feeling of being connected in as many ways as possible is what was more important. There was a lot to be said and a lot to be done before the couple could be together again, but that was all something they would tackle together. They both knew their love was strong and could clearly withstand a great deal of strife; as long as they had each other they would be unstoppable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again!


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I decided to write this final chapter today I didn't even know what it would end up being, but I'm happy with it and I hope you all are too. Sorry I left you all hanging for so long, but here is the epilogue and I'm thankful for all of you that left feedback and kudos along the way!!

“Well, that’s all for today, guys. Make sure you’re prepared for Thursdays exam; if anyone has any questions come see me during my office hours.” Ali says before turning off the projector. The students are out the door before she can even look up again, but a familiar figure catches her attention in the last desk by the door. She turns her attention back down to her desk as she gathers up all her papers.

“Great class, Professor.” Ali chuckles to herself, all the while ignoring the person as they come closer to the front of the class. “You really know how to keep the attention of the room on you.” Now she’s standing right in front of her and when Ali looks up, she can’t help the full smile that spreads across her face. “But I can imagine that’s pretty easy when someone as beautiful as you is teaching.” A blush takes over her cheeks and Ali knows there’s no playing coy when Ashlyn is around. She smirks up at the blonde as she walks around the desk and slides her arms around her waist.

“Hi.” Ali says simply. It’s been years and somehow the woman in front of her still makes her nervous.

“Hi gorgeous.” Ashlyn says with a wink. “Back where it all began.” She says while looking around the very same lecture hall that they met in.

“I kept looking over in that front row where you used to sit. I missed seeing that smug little smile in my class.” Ali admits while Ashlyn flashes the very smile she’s talking about. “That’s the one.” Ali pokes at the dimple on Ashlyn’s cheek. Ashlyn turns and kisses her palm before Ali retracts her hands and snakes both arms up and around her neck.

“Are you happy to be back?” Ashlyn wonders.

“More than you know. It feels like I can redeem myself here; like I made all the right decisions that led me right back here.” Ali explains as she pulls Ashlyn into a hug.

“Good, I’m so proud of you. We both are.” Ashlyn says before pulling back and placing her hand on Ali slowly growing belly. She leans in and kisses Ali soundly before pulling away, only to be pulled back in by Ali, giving her a million little kisses.

“I love you.” She says in between each kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Prof.” Ali lightly hits Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“Stop it, I’m not your professor anymore.” Ali says against Ashlyn’s lips, laughing all the while. Ashlyn pulls back with a serious look on her face.

“No, but you’ll always be mine. Even when you’re blaming me for your morning sickness.” Ali rolls her eyes at her wife, but still can’t help the smile that’s constantly on her lips around her.

“You’re such a jerk.” Ali jokes and Ashlyn pulls her in even tighter against her.

“Maybe, but you love me anyway.”

“I do.” Ali says as she leans in and presses her lips against Ashlyn’s. “I really do.

4 Years Later

“Ashlyn, I don’t know about this. He’s so little and he could get really hurt out there.” Ali worries and Ashlyn packs up their bags to bring to the beach. The two had been arguing about letting Jackson surf for weeks now and the day was finally here, but Ali was even more concerned than ever.

“He’s going to be okay, Alex. I promise I won’t let anything happy to him. You have to trust me.” Ashlyn pleads as she wraps her arms around her wife. She kisses her forehead just between her eyebrows to try and relax her, but it doesn’t seem to work.

“I do trust you, babe, but waves are unpredictable. You never know when one is going to be too strong. I don’t think I can let him go out there. I’m sorry.” Ali says with a kind of finality that Ashlyn knows she can’t argue with.

“Okay, that’s fine. How about this? I’ll go out and surf, to see how it is, and you decide if he can join me later. How’s that?” Ashlyn offers and Ali nods reluctantly and kisses Ashlyn before they grab their gear, along with a groggy post-nap toddler.

\--

“Mommy! Momma surfin’!” Jackson exclaims as he jumps up and down, pointing at Ashlyn out in the water.

“I know, baby. Isn’t she good?” Ali wraps her arms around her son and kisses his temple before he’s able to wriggle out of her grasp.

“Can I? Can I?” He asks so excitedly that Ali’s not sure she could even say no if she wanted to, so the two walk down to where the waves break and wait for Ashlyn to come in on her board. “I surf, Momma! I surf!” He says, jumping up and down before running into the water and into Ashlyn’s arms.

“Oh yeah? Mommy said you could?” Ashlyn asks, looking directly at the brunette. Ali simply nods and watches as Ashlyn’s face lights up in response. “Well, lets go little lion man!” And the two are off running into the surf. Ashlyn puts Jackson on the board as she pulls him along and out into the deeper water. Not once does Ashlyn take her hand off of her son and Ali is grateful for that, knowing she is just as much a protective mother as she is a fun one.

 

The two are out there for what feels like hours to Ali, but she can tell they are both having more fun than ever. She never takes an eye off the pair and is less than surprised to see how naturally talented her son is on a surfboard. She watches closely as her two favorite people start to come back to the shore and instead of Jackson waiting for Ashlyn to pick him up off the board, the almost four year old decides to jump off the board and into the water. Of course, he can swim, but that doesn’t stop Ali from taking off in a panic into the water. Ashlyn already has Jackson in her arms by the time she reaches them.

“Jax! Is he okay?” Ali asks frantically, reaching for her son and taking him into her arms.

“Yes, Alex. He’s just fine. We taught him how to swim a long time ago.” Ashlyn rubs her wife’s back as she holds their son close. “Right, buddy? You okay?”

“I okay, Mommy.” He assures Ali with a hand on her cheek. “Mommy got me.”

“Don’t do that again, baby. You can’t scare mommy like that.” Ali squeezes Jackson even tighter against her.

“Sorry.” Jackson says as his eyes start to fill with tears.

“No, no, it’s okay. I know Momma had you.” Ali looks at Ashlyn apologetically. Even if she knew Ashlyn would do everything in her power to protect their son, that doesn’t stop her from worrying or overreacting from time to time. Jackson sniffles a couple times before wrapping his arms around Ali and hugging her back.

“Love me anyway?” Jackson asks innocently and Ali holds on tighter as Ashlyn joins in and wraps her arms around the two of them.

“I do, baby. I love you anyway.” Ali wraps the arm that isn’t holding Jackson around Ashlyn and squeezes them both tight against her.

“Momma too?”

“I love Momma anyway too.” Ali says, looking at her wife and realizing just how far they have come together. Even through everything they have been through together, they choose to love each other anyway and now they share that love with a little boy who teaches them something knew about themselves every single day.

Ali thinks about that day often, the day she walked away from it all, deciding to spare Ashlyn any more pain. She may have come back, realizing their love was a once and a lifetime opportunity, but what if she hadn’t? She can’t even imagine where she would be today without a son she loves more than life itself and a wife that makes every single day an adventure.

“I love you, Alex.” Ashlyn says, bring Ali back down from her thoughts.

“I love you.” Ali says before she puts Jackson back down into the sand and slides her hand into Ashlyn’s as they watch him find a place in the sand to start building anything his little mind can imagine.


End file.
